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Abusive husband.

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Assalam Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh!


Dear Brother in Islam,

I have been married for 8 months and have faced many problems with my husband. He committed zina in the past with a Christian lady but i forgive him and still married him my parents were not in favour of this marriage but i kept on insisting and fought with my parents cause i loved him but his attitude changed towards me after a week from the day of our marriage. He started beating me very badly and stopped me from going to my friends, relatives and even my parents. That christian lady is still talking to him on the phone even after our marriage. His anger is very bad and when he is mad he beats me and breaks all the things in front of him . It is very difficult for me to handle him and i sometimes cant bear his talks as he uses very bad language for me & my parents.

 

Dear brother I love my husband very much and dont want to leave him but sometimes it is unbearable for me I dont know what to do?

 

Plz guide me and tell if can recite something which can keep him away from these evil ladies and he can be gud to me.


Jazzak Allah Khair 

 

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

 

Answer:

 

Abusive husband

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Your Question: ..Plz guide me and tell if can recite something which can keep him away from these evil ladies and he can be gud to me.

Respected sister in Islam, if the recitation of a few phrases was all it took to instill the fear of Allah Subhanah into someones heart or change the character or behavior of someone, the Messenger of Allah (saws) would have recited the phrases on the likes of Abu Jahl and Abu Lahab and they would have feared Allah and been guided aright!!!

 

Respected Sister in Islam, the sacred institution of marriage in Islam is not a union between two people who compete against each other, but rather a marriage in Islam is a sacred union between two people who complement each other in their partnership, who develop and maintain the love and mercy between them that Allah Subhanah has created for them in their marriage, and strive together as a team to live a life of peace, harmony and tranquility under the fear and guidance of Allah.

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 34:

34   Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has given the one more than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard (their chastity, their husbands honor, property, etc.)

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 30 Surah Rome verse 21:

21 And among His Signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts); verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.


 

If one truly seeks guidance in ones marriage, there is no better recipe for peace, harmony and tranquility in ones relationship with ones spouse in marriage than the guidance of Allah and His Messenger (saws).

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 278 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

The Prophet (saws) said: The most perfect Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behaviour; and the best among you are those who behave best towards their wives.

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3252 Narrated by Aisha ; Abdullah ibn Abbas

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "The best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family."

 

Sahih Muslim Hadith 3465 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As

Allah's Messenger (saws) said: The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman.

 

Sahih Muslim Hadith 3469 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said: a believing man should not hate a believing woman (his wife); if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3358 Narrated by AbuBakr as-Siddiq

The Prophet (saws) said, "One who treats badly those under his authority will not enter Paradise."

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3272 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

When Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) was asked which woman was best he replied, "The one who pleases (her husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command, and does not go against his wishes regarding her person or property by doing anything of which he disapproves."

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 285 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

The Prophet (saws) said: Had it been permissible that a person may prostrate himself before another, I would have ordered that a wife should prostrate herself before her husband.

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 284 Narrated by AbuAli Talq ibn Ali

The Prophet (saws) said: When a man sends for his wife for the satisfaction of his need, she should go to him even if she may be occupied in baking bread.

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 286 Narrated by Umm Salamah

The Prophet (saws) said: If a woman dies while her husband was pleased with her, she will enter Paradise.

 

Amongst the obligatory rights that are due from a husband to his wife in marriage are that he honor her, love her, cherish her, be kind, generous and merciful towards her, protect her, and provide for her complete upkeep according to his means.

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3358 Narrated by AbuBakr as-Siddiq

The Prophet (saws) said, "One who treats badly those under his authority will not enter Paradise."

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 278 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

The Prophet (saws) said: The most perfect Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behaviour; and the best among you are those who behave best towards their wives.

 

In return for everything the husband does for the wife in the sacred bond of marriage, the guidance of Islam commands and guides the wife to be grateful and devoutly obedient to her husband.

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3272 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

When Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) was asked which woman was best he replied, "The one who pleases (her husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command, and does not go against his wishes regarding her person or property by doing anything of which he disapproves."

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 1.28 Narrated by Ibn Abbas

The Prophet (saws) said: "I was shown the Hell-Fire and found that the majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful." It was asked, "Do they disbelieve in Allah? (or are they ungrateful to Allah?) He (saws) replied, "They are not thankful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favors done to them. Even if you were to do good to one of them all your life, when she seems some harshness from you, she will say, "I have never seen any good from you!"

 

Beloved Sister, if your husband is not willing to give you your due rights in the marriage, you have two lawful options in Islam:

  1. Bear his unjust oppression with patience with the conviction that justice will be served and you will get your full and due retribution in the Presence of your Lord Most Just, Most Supreme on that Inevitable Day of Judgment; and thus save your marriage.
  2. If you cannot bring yourself to bear the unjust oppression of your husband in the marriage, you are well within your rights to initiate a divorce proceedings against such an evil and impious husband.and if what you have related is indeed true, there would be no blame or sin upon you.

 

Respected Sister, if you opt to save your marriage.regardless of whether or not your husband chooses to fulfill all his rights towards you or not, you should fear Allah and make absolutely sure that you fulfill all the rights that are due unto him in the marriage. It might appear that one who is unjust might get away with his injustice and oppression in the life of this short and transient world; but we assure you sister, none will get away with ones oppression and injustice in the Presence of the Lord Most Majestic Most Supreme on that Inevitable Day of Judgment!

 

Sahih Muslim Hadith 6251 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said: Do you know who is a muflis (abjectly poor or one who is totally bankrupt)? They (the Companions (r.a.) of the Prophet (saws)) said: A muflis amongst us is one who has neither dirham with him nor wealth. He (the Prophet (saws)) said: The muflis of my Ummah would be he who would come on the Day of Resurrection with prayers and fasts and Zakah but (he would find himself bankrupt on that day as he would have exhausted his funds of virtues) since he hurled abuses upon others, brought calumny against others, unlawfully consumed the wealth of others, shed the blood of others, and beat others. His virtues would be credited to the account of one (who suffered at his hand). And if his good deeds fall short to clear the account (of his mis-deeds), then their sins would be entered in (his account) and he would be thrown in the Hell-Fire!

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

 

Burhan

 


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