My wife expired soon after she had an operation of elbow fracture, in a nursing home. Is she a martyr as she died on the operation table ? What type of good deeds shall I perform for her soul ?
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Dear brother, the question /advice I am going to ask is very agonizing and painful and tears flow from my eyes when I am typing this email.
My wife expired soon after she had an operation of elbow fracture, in a nursing home in Mumbai. We have been married for over 35 years with children and grand children. For the last 2 months since this tragedy I cannot bear the pain and agony and feel very lonely though I am staying with my married son, daughter in law and their 2 male kids. My wife was a very pious lady and has performed Haj and 4 Umra along with me.I am reading Quran daily for her soul . Pls. adv. as to how can I control my emotions. Every time during 5 daily prayers tears flow . Is she a martyr as she died on the operation table ? What type of good deeds shall I perform for her soul ?
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In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
From Allah we have all come, and to Him Alone is our
ultimate return. May Allah Subhanah have
mercy on the departed soul and make her resting place a garden from amongst the
My dear and beloved brother in Islam, it is Allah Subhanah Alone Who Decrees the life-span of each individual, and when that term Decreed by our Lord Most Merciful expires it is the unfailing destiny of each soul to return back to its Lord and Creator.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 61:
61 He (Allah) is the Irresistible (watching) from above over his worshippers and He sets guardians over you. At length when death approaches one of you, Our Angels take his soul and they never fail in their duty!
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 21 Surah Anbiya verse 35:
35 Every soul shall have a taste of death: and We test you by evil and by good, by way of trial: to Us must ye return.
Dear and Beloved Brother, regardless of the reason for your beloveds wife death; rest assured that she has returned back to the Most Merciful One Who created her and to a place which is the destination of each and every soul. As hard it may seem for ones loved ones to realize and accept this reality of life and death; the believers must realize that this separation is just only temporary, for our Lord Most Merciful and Gracious has Himself promised to unite the righteous again for never ever to separate in the Real and Eternal and Ever-Lasting life of the Hereafter!
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 52 Surah Tur verses 17-24:
17 As to the Righteous they will be in Gardens and in Happiness
18 Enjoying the (Bliss) which their Lord hath bestowed on them and their Lord shall deliver them from the Penalty of the Fire.
19 (To them will be said:) "Eat and drink ye with profit and health, because of your (good) deeds."
20 They will recline (with ease) on Thrones (of Dignity) arranged in ranks; and We shall join them to Companions with beautiful big and lustrous eyes.
21 And those who believe and whose families follow them in Faith to them shall We join their families: nor shall We deprive them (of the fruit) of aught of their works: (Yet) is each individual in pledge for his deeds.
22 And We shall bestow on them of fruit and meat anything they shall desire.
23 They shall there exchange one with another a (loving) cup; free of frivolity, free of all taint of ill.
24 Round about them will serve (devoted) to them youths (handsome) as Pearls well-guarded.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 40 Surah Mumin verses 7-9:
7 Those who sustain the Throne (of Allah) and those around it sing Glory and Praise to their Lord; believe in Him; and implore forgiveness for those who believe: "Our Lord! Thy reach is over all things in Mercy and Knowledge. Forgive then those who turn in repentance and follow Thy Path: and preserve them from the Penalty of the Blazing Fire!
8 "And grant our Lord! That they enter the Gardens of Eternity which Thou hast promised to them and to the righteous among their fathers, their wives and their posterity! For Thou art (He) the Exalted in Might Full of Wisdom.
9 "And preserve them from (all) ills; and any whom thou dost preserve from ills that Day on them wilt Thou have bestowed Mercy indeed: and that will be truly (for them) the highest Achievement.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah An-Nisa verse 122:
The promise of Allah is (Absolutely) True, and who can be Truer in His Word than Allah?
If one can only bring himself to trust and believe with conviction in the Promises their Lord Most Merciful has made to them; then and only then can one be able to develop patience and bear with the seemingly unbearable and irrepairable loss of the life of a loved one!
Your Question: Pls. adv. as to how can I control my emotions. Every time during 5 daily prayers tears flow .
The Prophet (saws) wept on the death of his infant son, Ibrahim, and said: "The eyes shed tears and the heart feels pain, but we utter only what pleases our Lord. O Ibrahim! We are aggrieved at your demise!" He also wept when his grand daughter, Umaymah, daughter of Zainab, died. At this Sa'ad ibn 'Ubadah said: "O Messenger of Allah! Are you weeping? Did you not forbid Zainab from weeping?" The Prophet (saws) replied: "This (weeping) is the mercy that Allah has placed in the hearts of His servants. And surely Allah bestows mercy upon those who are merciful among His servants."
Dear and Beloved Brother, the tears that flow from your eyes are a testimony of your love for your beloved wife and a mercy which Allah Subhanah has bestowed upon those amongst His slaves who are merciful amongst His creation. The departed soul has completed her Decreed time and test of her life and returned to her destination; but Allah has made her death a test for her loved ones to see what they do when they are afflicted with such calamities from their Lord as a test? Do they become impatient and ungrateful at the Commands and Decrees of their Lord; or do they trust and believe in the Promises of their Lord Most Merciful and are willing to accept with patience and steadfastness any trial their Lord might put upon them.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verses 155-157:
155 Be sure We shall test you with something of fear, and hunger, some loss in goods, or lives, or the fruits (of your toil); but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere.
156 Who say when afflicted with calamity: "To Allah we belong and to Him is our return."
157 They are those on whom (descend) blessings from Allah and Mercy, and they are the ones that receive guidance.
Dear and Beloved Brother in Islam, your statements and your state at the loss of your wife are evidence the love and respect and honor you have for your beloved wife of 35 years; and the place your beloved wife was able to create in your heart through her sincere service and companionship with you over this long period of time. Allah Subhanah is our witness, your this very state at the loss of your beloved wife is a guarantee from the Messenger of Allah (saws) who came with the Truth that could earn her the coveted and ultimate Reward of the Eternal Gardens of Bliss in Paradise!
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3256 Narrated by Umm Salamah
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "Any
woman who dies when her husband is pleased with her will enter
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3254 Narrated by Anas ibn Malik
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "When a
woman observes the five times of prayer, fasts during Ramadan, preserves her
chastity and obeys her husband, she may enter by any of the gates of
My dear and beloved brother in Islam, although this separation of the death of your beloved wife may seem at this time to be forever; rest assured that this separation is only for a short while; and without an iota of a doubt, believe it with absolute conviction that soon there will come a Day when the two of you and the righteous amongst your family will all be united again, never ever to separate, in the Majestic Honorable Presence of the Lord of the Worlds!
There can be no bigger consolation for the believers in their times of trial than the absolute and complete belief and trust in the Promises of their Lord Most Merciful, Most Bounteous! How fortunate are those who have believed, for they know with conviction that their trials of life are only temporary and a test; and One Day they will be gathered towards their Lord never to be experience any pain, or fear or grief ever again!
Your Question: Is she a martyr as she died on the operation table ?
Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 3105 Narrated by Jabir ibn Atik
The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: What do you consider martyrdom? They (the companions) said: Being killed in the Cause of Allah. The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: There are seven types of martyrdom in addition to being killed in Allah's Cause: one who dies of plague is a martyr; one who is drowned is a martyr; one who dies of pleurisy is a martyr; one who dies of an internal complaint is a martyr; one who is burnt to death is a martyr; who one is killed by a building falling on him is a martyr; and a woman who dies while pregnant is a martyr.
It is Allah Subhanah Alone Who Decides and Chooses the martyrs, and we pray that your beloved wife is one amongst them, Insha Allah.
Your Question: What type of good deeds shall I perform for her soul ?
In light of the guidance of the Quran and the Sunnah, the principle of doing deeds is that each soul is responsible only for what it does in its prescribed time of its test of one life-time; thus the deeds the departed soul did in her life will be for her, and the deeds that you and I do in our test of life will be for us. The Book of Records of each soul is closed shut when ones soul departs from ones body and nothing can be added or subtracted from their deeds, except for the three things stated in an authentic narration from the Messenger of Allah (saws):
Sahih Muslim Hadith 4005 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
Allah's Messenger (saws) said: When a person dies, his acts come to an end, but three: recurring charity the person left behind, or knowledge left behind by the person (by which people) benefit, or the pious son (or off-springs) who pray for them (for the deceased).
Thus my beloved brother, the absolute best thing you can and should do for the departed soul of your beloved wife is to constantly supplicate the Lord Most Merciful to have mercy on her soul, forgive her her short-comings, make her resting place a garden from amongst the Promised Gardens of Paradise, make the accounting of her deeds easy for her, and implore the Lord Most Gracious and Bounteous to grant her the absolute Highest Rank in the Eternal Gardens of Paradise: the rank of Al-Firdaus. Never ever tire of making supplications to the Lord Most Merciful for the soul of your departed wife and for yourself and your family members and loved ones; for the Lord Most Gracious loves nothing more than the supplications of His believing slaves made with humility and sincerity unto Him.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 186:
And if My servants ask you, O Prophet, concerning Me, tell them that I am quite near to them. I hear and answer the prayer of the suppliant, when he calls on Me. So let them respond to My call and believe in Me. (Convey this to them), perhaps they may be guided aright!
Abu Hurairah reported, "The Prophet (saws) said, "Nothing is more dear to Allah than one's supplication to Him.''
Narrated by Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah.
Ibn Mas'ud reported that the Prophet (saws), said, "If any servant of Allah afflicted with distress or grief makes this supplication, his supplication will be accepted: 'O Allah, I am Your servant, son of Your servant, son of your maidservant. My forehead is in Your hand. Your command conceming me prevails, and Your decision concerning me is just. I call upon You by every one of the beautiful names by which You have described Yourself, or which You have revealed in Your book, or have taught anyone of Your creatures, or which You have chosen to keep in the knowledge of the unseen with You, to make the Qur'an the delight of my heart, the light of my breast, and remover of my griefs, sorrows, and afflictions'." A supplication in these words will be answered. Allah will remove one's affliction and replace it with joy and happiness.
Salman reported that the Prophet (saws), said, "Your Lord, the Blessed and the Exalted One, is Modest and Generous, and He loathes to turn away His servant empty-handed when he raises his hands to Him in supplication."
Narrated by Ahmad and Ibn Hibban.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your Brother and sincere well wisher in Islam,