Is marriage and fate pre destined?
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's
Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Dear brother Burhan,
I have today read your email regarding Fate and predetermined
will. Please let me know about the merriage, is it also predetermined. Actually i am in love with
some one else. Can i do any thing in this matter or should i rely on fate.
Mean while please also let me know if i
can meet that person alone before merriage for one time and what is way in
islam to send proposal for merriage.
Note: Please don`t publish
my name or email address.
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may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum
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Answer:
Is
marriage and fate and pre determined?
In the
name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness.
Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray,
none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no
person, no grave, no prophet, no imam,
no dai, nobody!) worthy of
worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His
slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
The
Majestic Creator has bestowed two things upon man (and Jinns) which He has not
bestowed upon any amongst His creation; and thus involved him in a test:
Intelligence
or the Power of Reasoning
A ‘free
will’ to choose whatever path he wishes to follow in life
Whoever,
with the bestowed intelligence recognizes his Lord and Creator, and of his own free will chooses to follow
the path approved by Him will be shown Allah’s Mercy and Grace. And Whoever denies his Lord and Creator, and
of his own free will chooses to follow any other path than the approved path of
the Lord, he will deserve the Wrath and Anger of the All-Mighty Lord.
Because
the All-Knowing, All-Wise Lord has involved man in a test for a short period of
one life, He has allowed man for this
limited period, to choose his path and do deeds as one pleases. It is indeed true that Allah Subhanah, knows
exactly what each individual will do at every stage of his life, but that is
because He has Perfect and Absolute Knowledge of everything of the past,
present and future.
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 6.474 Narrated
by Ali ibn Abi Taalib
While the Prophet (saws) was in a funeral procession, he (saws)
picked up something and started scraping the ground with it, and said,
"There is none among you but has his place written for him either in the
Hell Fire or in
To
fulfill the requirements of the ‘test’, man is permitted to use his
intelligence and do deeds as he sees best for himself; and for this test of one
transitory life, there is absolutely no compulsion upon him. The ‘fate’ or ‘predetermined will’ is no more
than the Perfect and Absolute Knowledge of Allah Subhanah, whereby He Knows
Perfectly well what each individual will do at every stage of his life. If man was compelled to do deeds according to
‘fate’ or the ‘pre-determined will’, then it would not constitute a fair ‘test’
for man and could not be held accountable for his deeds!
When one
is seeking a suitable partner in marriage, the guidance given by Islam is that
one should use his intelligence and power of reasoning, and seek to marry a
partner best suitable to him/her for the life of this world and the Hereafter.
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.27 Narrated
by Abu Huraira
The Prophet (saws) said, "A woman is married for four
things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So
you should marry the religious woman, (otherwise) you will be a loser."
Thus,
although Allah Subhanah Knows exactly who will marry whom in His Perfect and
Absolute Knowledge of everything in existence; man is under no compulsion. He has to use his intelligence and power of
reasoning and choose the partner that is most suitable for him for his life in
this world and the Hereafter. The
Messenger of Allah (saws) guided the believers to overlook the transient and
short-lived aspects of wealth, and beauty, and lineage when seeking a partner
in marriage; and choose a righteous religious woman if he indeed wanted to be
successful in his marriage.
Your
Question: Mean while please also let me
know if i can meet that person alone before merriage for one time
There is
absolutely no harm in Islam if the person seeking marriage wishes to meet or
talk to the prospect, provided the woman is accompanied by her guardian or male
mehram for her protection and safety.
The Messenger of Allah (saws) strongly advised that a non-mehram man and
woman should never meet alone and in private, for the Shaytaan would then get a
chance to entice them to transgress the boundaries of Allah Subhanah.
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3118 Narrated
by Umar ibn al-Khattab
The Prophet (saws) said, "Whenever a man is alone with a
(non-mehram) woman, the Shaytaan makes a third."
Your
Question: and what is way in islam to send
proposal for merriage.
If one is
satisfied with the prospect and seeks to marry the woman, he must do the
righteous thing and approach the guardians or male mehrams of the woman and ask
for her hand in marriage. With the
consent of his own parents or guardians, there is absolutely no harm if the man
approaches the guardian of the woman himself, or sends his parents, or sends
his proposal through any honorable third party.
It is the right of the girl and her guardians to then investigate the
proposal and either accept or reject it.
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3090 Narrated
by Abu Hurayrah
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, 'When someone with whose religion
and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his
request. If you do not do so, there will be temptation on Earth and extensive
corruption.'
Whatever
written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance,
and whatever of error is of me. Allah
Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your Brother in Islam,
Burhan
Wister