Second marriage while not married first
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
AssalamAlaykoum....I have a question in regards to marriage . I am
a re-vert ( Alhamdulilah) I met this brother whom I am to marry in few mths .
InshaAllah . But he has told me that he is in process of marrying another
sister after marrying me. He & I are not married yet , but he is in the
process of marrying me & yet trying to marry another sister as well . Is
that right, can he do that ? I would think this would be somewhat unusual , but
if its allowed & Allah grants this then who am I to go against it . Its
just that I feel we are not marrried yet & he is already looking for 2nd
wife ..hmmmm plz keep my email private ..thanks !
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In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 3: If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice two, or three, or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them) then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess. That will be more suitable to prevent you from doing injustice.
Beloved and dear Sister in Islam, indeed The All Wise, All Knowing Lord has permitted the believing men to marry upto a maximum of four wives at any one time, with the strict condition that they shall fear Allah and treat all their wives with justice and equality. But if the man fears that he might not be able to do justice with his wives, then it would be more suitable for him to fear Allah and marry only one. We must realize that this is not a commandment from Allah Subhanah, but rather only a permission that if the man wishes to do so, he may keep upto a maximum of four wives at any one time.
Your Question: He & I are not married yet , but he is in the process of marrying me & yet trying to marry another sister as well . Is that right, can he do that ?
Beloved and dear Sister, as far as the Shariah legality in planning to marry two believing women simultaneously is concerned, there is absolutely no harm or sin in that; but we must say it is highly unusual.
If we were to give our honest opinion based on the details you have provided us, it seems the issue with the man could be one of two:
He is an extremely God-fearing, pious, and honest person as even before marrying you, he has shared his intention with you that he would be marrying again; so that if you are not comfortable with the situation, you can refuse his proposal now and not marry him at the outset, rather than have problems later!
He is only testing to see how you react, for it is indeed highly unusual for a man who proposes in the hope that the lady will accept his proposal, destroys his own chances of success in his proposal by announcing his intention that he wishes to seek a second wife!
Beloved sister in Islam, just as Islam has given the permission to the believing man, that if he wants and chooses to, he may marry multiple times; Islam has also given the believing woman the right to refuse the proposal of the man. Shariah also provides the right to the woman, that before accepting the proposal at the time of Nikaah, she can have a written contract in the Nikaah form, that if the man chooses to marry a second woman while he is still married to her, it shall constitute a divorce with her (the first wife).
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your Brother in Islam,