Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
assalam o alaikum.....
sir I need your kind reply to my question based on the islam and sunna which please reply enable decide. my question's are :-
1) I am a married person and want to marry another woman am I allowed to do so ??
2) I have asked my present wife that I want to marry another woman she say no or if you do then you have leave me (divorce) my question is do I have to ask permission from my first wife to marry someother woman or I can go and do so without her knowing ????
3) why does islam allow's 4 wife's wherein our culture/society does not allow ??
4) if I hide this with my first wife and marry the second woman will I be wrong or caught on the last day (kayamat/domes day) ??
sir your ref let me tell you my back ground and my relation with the first wife and the other woman whom I want to marry.
I was married with the 1st (my present wife) 11 year's back we have 2 kid's (dauther's) I personally do not have the mind frame that matches with my first wife and somehow the other what I like or dislike goes away when come accross with the daily complain at home while I come back which was due to my younger sister who is now married but at that time they were totally different so what ever used to happen at home was put on me and finally I was getting upset even she my first used to say that you leave me sometime's abuse me or even beat me for which I used to get upset. this is only when I came accross the the other woman which used to work with me at office and it seem's that I was getting close to her and now that I want to marry her what should I do please advise under the teaching of islam. for your information the other woman is ready to marry me when ever I say and accept's me with the first wife and does not ask me to leave the first wife pls advise what to do ????
would appreciate your kind reply to this soon.
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I am a married person and want to marry another woman am I allowed to do so ??
The one and only restriction that Islam puts on a person who wants to practice polygamy is justice! Justice and equality in the time he spends with each of them, on the amount he spends on each of them, on the gifts he gives to each of them, etc.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse3: If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them) then only one.
I have asked my present wife that I want to marry another woman she say no or
if you do then you have leave me (divorce). my
question is do I have to ask permission from my first wife to marry someother woman or I can go and do so without her knowing
There is absolutely no such condition in the Shariah whereby the believer needs permission from his first wife, if he chooses to marry a second time. Allah Subhanah, the Lord of the Worlds, has given the believing man permission to marry upto a maximum of four wives at any one time; and after one has the permission of the Lord of the World, he need not seek permission from anyone on that matter.
Your wife does have a right to initiate or request you to divorce her, if she does not wish to remain your first wife if you chose to marry a second time.
or I can go and do so without her knowing ????
A marriage in Islam is a public affair, and something that is announced in public so that the people of society where one resides know and recognize the man and woman as a legally wedded husband and wife.
But if one wishes to marry a second time without the knowledge of the first wife, that would be absolutely acceptable in Islam; provided at least some people in the society know that the man has married again and has a second wife; as there are implications of marriage on inheritance, etc. What is absolutely disallowed is secret marriages where no one knows the person is married to a particular woman!
why does islam allow's 4 wife's wherein our
culture/society does not allow ??
Firstly, the One Who Created man and his nature has Decreed the Laws that govern his life in Islam; the culture/society neither created man, nor his nature; but took on the audacity to create laws which are against the nature of man according to their own whims and fancies!
Secondly, it is not that Allah has commanded that every man must practice polygamy. It is only a legal allowance for men, who for any reason, need to habitate with more than one partner.
Third, each of Allahs Laws and Commands are based on His Perfect Wisdom and Knowledge and in absolute accordance with the fitrah or nature of His creation. If we follow these Divine Laws, we will live a life in peace and harmony with nature. And if we challenge and try to change these Divine Laws, we will be going against the created nature, and this will give rise to nothing but chaos, instability and disharmony. Just take a look at our modern un-Godly society and see for yourself the menace and chaos which has been created by the laws they have created for man:
The vice and effects of alcohol.
The vice and effects of gambling.
The vice and effects of prostitution.
The vice and effects of usury. Etc.
And the effects of these evils and vices do not just affect the individual committing the act, but it also affects his family, his community and the whole of mankind! And can you imagine when the people who come to power, try to legalize and justify these vices in the name of freedom of the individual, what will be the state of the community and society at large! These un-Godly people will go on experimenting one thing after another, and move from darkness into further darkness in the name of this freedom!
Fourth, it is not as if Islam started the practice of polygamy! It was a practice that has been practiced since time immemorial! Islam, in fact, put a limit to the number of wives a believing man may keep at one time to a maximum of four.
And finally, the truth of the matter is that if a man decides to marry again, there is no law in the world that can stop him! If the law of a country makes it illegal to marry again, and the man has decided to marry another woman, he can simply divorce his first wife and marry his new choice; or, as it happens so very often in the so-called modern-civilized-educated-ignorant world, he will start a string of illicit and immoral affairs, and keep the new woman as his girlfriend and/or mistress!
Islam is a religion absolutely in sync with nature, and has recognized that man is polygamous by nature. It gives a legal option to those amongst the men who choose to marry again, to honorably keep his first wife, and honor the second woman as his legally wedded wife; thus giving both women the respect and moral status in society. Besides, the one and only condition Islam lays upon the man who wishes to keep more than one wife, is that it is obligatory upon him to treat them with justice; ie. be equal with them with his time, his wealth, his gifts, etc. Allah and His Messenger (saws) have prescribed a severe punishment for the man who favors one wife more than the other and does not treat them equally.
Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2128 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
The Prophet (saws) said: When a man has two wives and he is inclined to one of them, he will come on the Day of Resurrection with a side hanging down.
if I hide this with my first wife and marry the second woman will I be wrong or
caught on the last day (kayamat/domes day) ??
There is absolutely no condition in Shariah that states that one needs permission from or inform his first wife, if the man chooses to exercise the option to marry a second time.
But it is imperative that ones marriage is announced in society so that at least some people in society know that the man has taken a second wife; as ones marriage has direct implications on the names of the children, the inheritance, etc.
If the man has married for a second time and has announced his marriage in public in the society where he resides, and is somehow able to keep his second marriage a secret from his first wife, there will be no sin upon him nor will he be held accountable in the Court of Allah Subhanah for not informing his first wife.
Where the husband will definitely be held accountable in the Just Court of Allah Subhanah, is if he does not do justice and practice equality between his wives with his time, his wealth, etc. To treat all his wives with justice and equality is the only obligatory condition Islam has laid upon a person who wishes to exercise the option to marry more than one wife.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your Brother in Islam,