Dating & Marriage: How can boys meet girl for marriage?
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
If a man can marry more than once then is it legal for him to have sex with his wives at a time, together?
couple of days ago one of ur q&a said that looking, touching, kissing, or dating with an woman who is not married is not allowed in Islam...then my qus is...how someone is gonna love someone if they cant be close to each other or cant talk?
what about an different culture,,,where guys get to meet girls then they get married after dating a while? what if that person dont find anyone who wants to get married without dating, is that person gonna stop looking for someone and not get married?
THANX...MAY ALLAH BLESS YOU FOR YOUR GOOD WORK...
(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)
Dating & Marriage
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Your question: If a man can marry more than once then is it legal for him to have sex with his wives at a time, together?
It is prohibited for a man to have sex with all his wives together; and it is also prohibited for a woman to open her satr in front of another woman.
Your question: couple of days ago one of ur q&a said that looking, touching, kissing, or dating with an woman who is not married is not allowed in Islam...then my qus is...how someone is gonna love someone if they cant be close to each other or cant talk?
Islam has strictly prohibited the act of zina (fornication and adultery); and as is the principle of Islam, if a thing is prohibited, all the roads lead that to such an act are also forbidden.
Besides, what some people call love out of wedlock; Islam rightfully recognizes that as forming an illicit, immoral, and illegal sexual relationship! Love in Islam is not considered as shallow and as superficial as some of the so-called modern-educated ignorant people would like to believe! Love is an honorable term that is developed between a couple after marriage. Islam has rightfully differentiated and segregated illegal lust from true love; which most of the ignorant people of this world seem to think as synonyms.
Islam has allowed a couple who wish to marry to meet as often as they like, provided the girl is accompanied by a male-mehram relative of hers. Islam has allowed the couple to talk to each other as often as they think is necessary, provided a male mehram relative of the girl is present! Thus if the couple want to meet and talk serious talk, there is no restriction . The restriction is placed for the protection and honor of our sisters and our daughters, so that some smooth-talking guy does not show-stars-in-the-sky to your and our honorable sisters and daughters! Whatever he wants to say, he may say it to the prospected girl, in front of her brother, or father, or uncle. But that arrangement is sort-of extremely uncomfortable for Mr. Slick; isnt it? Mr. Slick cannot do his smooth-talking in front of the girls brother, or father, or uncle because he fears he might get caught in his smooth act! And thus this arrangement is seen by him as a hindrance to develop his true love for the girl!
Your question: what about an different culture,,,where guys get to meet girls then they get married after dating a while?
What about it? Its great (and probably extremely nave) to think that in different cultures guys meet girls, date for a while, get married, and live happily ever after!!!
Do the believers sincerely want to pay the moral and social price that is associated with these different cultures?
Consider these scenarios, which are more realistic than the fairy-tale and nave scene of guy meets girl, dates, gets married, and lives happily ever after:
Guy meets girl, dates for a while, realizes not going to get a sexual break, dumps her!
Guy meets girl, dates her for a while, breaks her heart, looks for another girl!
Guy meets girl, dates for a while, checks her out sexually, dumps her!
Guy meets girl, dates for a while, gets girl pregnant, boy disappears!
Guy meets girl, dates for a while, girl gets pregnant, boy denies he is responsible!
Guy meets girl, dates for a while, girl gets pregnant, family forces them to marry!
.. should I try and give any more scenarios..?
One only has to look at the societies where this sort of culture exists, study their statistics of single mothers, abortions, teen-age mothers, broken marriages, broken relationships, etc., and if that does not scare them; Allah Alone knows what will!
Your question: what if that person dont find anyone who wants to get married without dating, is that person gonna stop looking for someone and not get married?
The person who sincerely wants to get married, is interested in getting married; not in dating! In the cultures where family bonds are strong, and relationships are deep, and every individual recognizes his or her responsibility towards their un-married children and relatives. Getting married is often the least of the problems!
The problem of getting married is profoundly complicated in the societies where dating is the norm. When a man can get a taste from any plate he wishes to fulfill his lust and desire, why on earth would he settle for one!
One should check out the social statistics and see for themselves which societies, and which cultures have the biggest percentages of unmarried, or broken marriage individuals.. and if the results dont appeal to our sense of honor and morality, we aught to dig deep into our conscience and figure out whether we are any better than the animals who roam and breed at will!
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your Brother and well wisher in Islam,