Marry a divorced woman
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Dear Brother Burhan,
I came across your site by accident a month ago and ever since, Iam a regular & frequent visitor. Maashaa Allah, you are rendering a great service and the questions and answers are very enlightening.
I came across a Muslim girl on the net by coincidence and we used to chat and exchange ideas sometimes. After a few months,I was getting impressed by this lady's immense faith in Allah and her intelligence. As her confidence started building up on me, she started confiding me about her bitter past. At a very young age, she was forcefully married to an aged person, a person older than her father. Her father died when she was young and her mother is not in good health since her father's death. She comes from a poor family too. As she wasn't old enough to understand things, she consented to the marriage under tremendous pressure from the man's family. Now, after 7 years of marriage, she has given birth to her two daughters. One is 6 years old and the other is 1-1/2 years old. She started studying MBBS after marriage as she is a very intelligent and understanding lady. But later on, her husband denied permission to study further and she discontinued her studies. In the meantime, he and his family were maltreating and abusing her. She had been bearing this with patience since her family is poor and she cannot afford to be a burden on her young brothers and sisters. But when things went beyond her control, she came out to her mother and is now living separately for the past 1 year. She completed her MBBS all on her own due to her perseverance and determination and by the Grace of Allah. In this span of one year, her husband and his family have used all methods and force to force her to come back. On a couple of occasions he had even tried to strangle her to death but luckily, her sister shouted out for help and people came to her rescue. On many occasions, he had even threatened to throw acid on her face.
Considering the future of her children (they stay with him), she was considering of returning back to him and bear the brunt. But she was very scared because he had promised to teach her a lesson when she comes back to him. Now, she has started practicing medicine and is doing her house job. She doesn't want to go to him anymore because of his nature and she feels there is no hope of any change in him. He is 48, well past his prime and she is 24 now. She has the responsibility of her younger sisters, brothers and mother. She is a very caring and responsible lady who understands her commitments and responsibilities, committing her life to her siblings well being and bearing all the problem and troubles. She sometimes finds all these too much to handle. She works in shifts, long hours of work and is also studying for the civil services, the highest and toughest exams. She is taking care of her youngest sister's expenses and education costs with her meager stipend.
She had asked for divorce but he is refusing again and again. She is even worried that she will lose her children forever as he has threatened to keep the children away from her if she goes for divorce. She is scared to even think of marrying again. All this while, I was moved by her tragic past, her problems, her strong faith in Allah, her positive attitude, determination, perseverance, compassion, and noble thoughts. After a long time, I told her that I am prepared to marry her after she gets divorce and give her peace of mind, happiness and moral support. She even hates the word "help" as she is confident of standing on her legs. She was continuously refusing about getting married again but now is willing to do so with the permission and blessings of our both families.
She is not yet divorced but planning to get soon. Can I propose to her in this situation or is it a sin? I am a practicing Muslim and fear Allah very much. I am content to live within the limits prescribed by Islam. I want top support this noble lady even though it means overcoming lots of obstacles and resistance on either side. Please advise as to what we can do, whether to go
ahead or give up. I have been constantly praying to Allah to help us , to guide me and make each other a perfect companion and grant us a happy life together. I am well aware of the responsibilities I may have to shoulder from this marriage but I am determined to move forward as I do not want to leave her alone after knowing so much about her. I am prepared to accept her along with her kids and shoulder their responsibilities. I know that there will be lots of resistance from my family but Iam sure I can explain them as to why Iam taking this decision and I have faith that Allah will convince them, Inshaa Allah. One of the reasons I want to marry her is that I want her to bring more into Deen and I am confident that Inshaa Allah, once she gets into my religious and practicing Muslim household, she will become a better Muslim and her children can have a more Islamic upbringing as I fear that they may get astray and I don't want that to happen. I have very noble and pious thoughts about her. Please let me have your valuable advise and also pray for us.
Thanks and regards,
Your brother in Islam,
(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)
Marry a divorced woman
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Sahih Muslim Hadith 3289 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
Allah's Messenger (saws) had forbidden a person making the proposal of marriage when his brother has already made such a proposal, or entering into a transaction when his brother has already entered; and a woman asking the divorce of her sister in order to deprive her of what belongs to her.
Beloved brother in Islam, it is absolutely forbidden for a believer, who sincerely believes in Allah and the Last Day, to propose to a woman who is already married, or to encourage her to divorce her husband with the intention that he would marry her after her divorce.
But if the woman, of her own free will and choice, divorces her husband, there is absolutely no sin in seeking her hand in marriage.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your Brother in Islam,