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What if the man I intend to marry dies before we actually get married ?

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Asalamu alaikom brother. I have this question that I can't seem to find an answer to, so insha'Allah you will be able to help me. Cuz I'm really in a hurry, and desperately need some kind of answer. Bismillah. There is this brother that I want to marry, and he also wants me alhamdulillah, but we have not been able to sign any contract yet because of some family issues. The man I want to marry has for a long time wanted to go abroad to help our brothers in fighting for Laa illaha ill Allah Muhammadan rasul Allah. And masha'Allah I was very pleased by this news. Other brothers from my city has gone, and 2 of them became mujaheeds already insha'Allah ( may Allah accept there shahada ameen) But now, the brother whom I want to share Jannah with ( insha'Allah I will get there) he just left for jihad, and because of a big distance between us and time pressure, we did not get to make nikah, so we are not yet married. So I ask, what if he dies over there, could he claim me or I him on the day of resurrection because of our intention of marriage ? Or could we get married over the phone, and then if he won't make it back home to consummate our marriage would we then be seen as husband and wife? And if we don't get married, then if I stay unmarried for the rest of my dunya time, would my chance of claiming him and visa-versa, be better ? Please help, I really want to be his garment and him mine and forever together in jannah. So what can we do before it's to late? Please make dua that Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala will bring the one I hold so dear back to me, so he may marry me and then insha'Allah die as a mujaheed ameen. I hope it's not way to much this question ? Really, barakah Allahu fik my Brother, insha`Allah I will hear from you asap. Asalamu Alaikom wr wb, sister Britt.

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Answer:

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Wa Alaykum as Salam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

Sister MaashaAllah your love for Allah swt and His deen is commendable. At the same time we strongly feel that some major factors should be addressed in their true context.

 
First of all, Islam, the religion is in no danger of extinction in our modern times. The Prophet pbuh and the rightful Khalifas are not amongst us, as they are the ones who can pronounce Jihad which is acceptable to Allah swt.. If the Taleban or any other modern ruler/president proclaims Jihad, then there would be doubts as to their intentions and agendas. It has become a normal practice nowadays for those without authority to announce Jihad so that people with little knowledge about the validity and authenticity of their proclamation lay down their lives for dis-honorable causes.
 
Honestly, today even we do not know where on earth has a genuine Jihad been proclaimed. All those places where so called Jihad has been announced, are politically and regionally motivated. Nobody is actually attacking Islam per se. As a matter of fact these so called Jihadese have given Islam a bad name making it difficult for normal Muslims to lead normal peaceful lives.
 
We believe that the real Jihad is striving to live normal lives, where the responsibility of ones parents, wives, children and family is taken seriously. A believer who strives his utmost to live a full Islamic life in terms of establishing his prayers, fasting in Ramadhan, paying the zakat, reading and studying the Quran, keeping good blood relations, keeping good neighborly relations, doing righteous work, teaching his children and dependents the Quran and Islam in general, honoring and keeping his promises and his word, spreading the word of Allah swt by example and effort, keeping away from all fahisha (evil deeds like music, zina, alcohol etc..) being kind to parents, relatives and family etc. etc.. If one can do most of the above, then truly he would be termed as striving to do Jihad. 
 
A person who goes and lays his life down cheaply just because someone without any authority makes an impact on him by his speeches for reasons that have nothing to do with Islam in general cannot be termed as a mujahid. Who is going to fulfill his natural duties of looking after his parents and family. Does not his sacrifice smell of selfishness, that he gave his life to earn for himself jannah leaving his parents, loved ones and family to live their lives in misery and penury. For most intelligent people the looking after of ones parents and  family is the real Jihad. Just imagine if all the youth and men of Islam went to such jihads, only our women and elderly will be left behind to do the real jihad of striving to live Islamic lives.
 
We feel that along with this passion for Jihad you should if you already have not make a sincere attempt to read and study the Glorious Quran in a language that you understand. Once you have done that you will be able to see everything clearly without accepting everyones interpretations of the correct deen.
 
Sister what are you expecting from the sacrifice of the man you intend to marry. Where have you read that you will be the recipient of rewards for his sacrifice. What have you done other then intend. Be realistic. If Allah swt forbid your man does not return, why do you have to stay unmarried. From where are you getting these diktats that is making you live your life like a hermit.
 
You must marry a righteous man who will be by your side taking the responsibility of raising the new family at the same time looking after his parents etc.. This is the type of man you should marry who will face the jadd o jihad of life itself, being always grateful and thankful to his Rabb. This is the type of man you should beg Allah swt to grant you, he would rightly be your garment and you his. In jannah InshaAllah you will be granted all that your heart desires, that is Allah's swt promise, and who can fulfill a promise except Allah ajjavajjal.
 
Now Sister, you choose what is best for you. Please don't get us wrong, we are not against the rightful jihad. That time will come when it comes. In our times the jihads declared in Pakistan, Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya, Egypt, Palestine etc., are not the jihads that lead to paradise. These are at best local revolutions in ferocious power struggles for political gains.
 
 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Members of Islamhelpline


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