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Shaytwan driving me crazy, Relating to Marriage (not married yet)

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

As~Salam~mu-Alaykum
Not too long ago I had come across some information, soon after which I dwelled upon it and it caused me to worry, experience anxiety and untrue thoughts. I believe these thoughts are from Shaytwan. I feel that to push the Shaytwan away I must have my questions answered so I can clear all doubts I have. So please brother if you could thoroughly read through the background information I give, as well as the question so you can get a better understanding of the situation.
The information I acquired was that, if a woman had boyfriends, and had committed zina in the past then repented, it would be okay for her to marry a chaste husband, and she should disclose the past to him. To me this doens't sound fair, even though I know Allah is not  unjust. I have been told this is the correct ruling, so I hear and I obey. But brother please understand that I am young male who has has the fitnah of women surrounding him constantly. At school it emcompasses me physically, and at home virtually. While some men fool around with women, and some women let men fool around with them I do not have such intentions. I dont want to fall into zina, and I do not want to be involved in a haram relationship. So to me it doesn't seem fair that even though I have stayed away from zina I could still end with a repentant woman who has had boyfriends and committed zina. She would never have to tell me. To me just the idea of this makes me mad, unlike some men I do not fool around with women, but still I could end up with a wife with a bad and unchaste past. I assume that every one is born a virgin, and without boyfriends, it is only when they decide to use their own body to sin then they end with a bad past. Why should  a man suffer for the sins of his wife and those men who touched her etc. etc. by unknowingly marrying a women with a bad and unchaste past. This doesn't sound fair to me unless the man was compensated by something. So I ask if in the future if I unknowingly marry a women with a bad past (for example she had boyfriends, or worse did zina!) will I be rewarded (by good deeds for example), EVEN if I never find out? Please brother I would like an answer Shaytwan has been driving me crazy, I believe it is him telling me, what if this happens to you, will you recieve no reward?! Where does Sharia'a talk of the reward for such a man?! While other men and women do as they like then later if they sincerely repent later they can end with a chaste partner, and even hurt you by violating your futre wife in the proccess. Why should you hold back?! Altough I do know that I must hold back from haram, and I have intentions to stay away. Please brother please do not simply tell me to only ignore these thoughts, and seek refuge for I have tried to do so for quite some time I would like an answer.
Jaza'kAllah'Khayr

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Answer:

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Brother if you remain chaste and within the boundaries of Islam, your reward will definitely be more than those who have violated their chastity. The fact is that this world is for doing good deeds, rest assured your rewards are in Allah swt protection.

 
Your fear of getting an un-chaste wife is greatly unfounded. You are only thinking about the things which are below the waist. A wife is not merely meant to satisfy the mans lust. She is a human being with feelings. One must look at her capacity to love and care, peek into her heart and mind and search for intelligence and wisdom, see if she is compatible with you. Will she be good for your duniya and akhirah. Will she respect you and your family and look after your children properly. The sex part plays a very negligible role in a successful marriage.
 
If marrying a virgin was the be all and end all of a marriage then our Prophet saws would not have married Bibi Khadijah r.a. who was a divorcee. She had qualities that no virgin woman can ever have.
 

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Members of Islamhelpline


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