Mention of sensitive words between husband and wife in bed
Dear Brothers & Sisters,As-Salaamu-Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
concerning the issue of pleasure whilst having intercourse or playing with ones wife then if the wife and /or the husband find increased pleasure in using words to describe what they are doing to one another in particular by using words that they would not odinarily use in the gatherings of people or otherwise, because the words would be considered vulger and keeping in mind the hadith of the Prophet SAW regarding him SAW disliking vulgar words and never used such words, are these type of slang words which are the names of the private parts eg . a slang word to describe the vagina and similarly a slang word to describe the male counterpart is the use of such words in an intention to exite the patener permissible taking the above mentioned hadith into account .
or does it fall under the catagory of what is haram in the intimate relationship between ones wife is clear from the texts eg . anal intercourse etc . . Therefore because of the rule of where there is no evidence to make such talk impermissible then we should not become pardantic keeping in mind the hadith regarding the one who is pardantic is destroyed . Or does the genral rule of the vulger words override this opinion, and if so then the question is that to name the private parts to ones wife is this impermissible, wheteher using technical words such as vagina or slang / common words?
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Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
The Muslim should refrain from obscenity in all his dealings, whether that has to do with words or deeds, but if he cannot reach a permissible objective without mentioning something that people usually feel too shy to mention, then it is acceptable. It says in the hadeeth of Maa’iz that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) mentioned some words that he did not ordinarily use. But if there is no need for that and those words are not haraam, such as swearing and insulting, then it is better not to say them. In that case they are more likely to be makrooh. So in that case there is nothing wrong with saying what was mentioned in the question, so long as the husband and wife do not use the same kind of words in front of their children or anyone else.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah's Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
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