Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Last August, during Ramadan, I went for Umrah and there sitting in front of the Kabba I asked Allah to introduce me to the man I was going to marry. I made dua about how I was ready to meet this man and the qualities I prefer. Eid day this man comes into my life, who seems to be exactly what I had made dua for. We spent a few months "talking" and everything seemed to be going great until I found out he could possibly be engaged. According to the person, he had been set to marry his cousin for years now and he does not want to marry her. He is bound by his parents and the situation.

After I found out, I still stayed with him in hopes that maybe something might happen that would change his mind. Then of course shaytan stepped in as well. Things ended very badly because he could not hurt me anymore or give me a future. For more than 50 days now I`ve been praying Tahajjud and every prayer. I fast Mon and Thur, and give charity. All in hopes to please Allah and to have that guy in my naseeb. I`m going to Umrah again in a few weeks to beg Allah for my future.

I just need to know that all my efforts of making dua aren`t a waste? I have faith in my duas, but I just need to know what I`m making dua for isn`t wrong? I really need an answer for my sanity! A sign, something.

JAK

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Marriage: Why supplications not answered

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Every lawful supplication that a believer makes unto his Lord, is heard and answered by their Lord Most High; for Allah is indeed All Hearing, All Knowing.   

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 186:

And if  My servants ask you,  O Prophet, concerning Me,  tell them that I am quite near to them.   I hear and answer the prayer of the suppliant,  when he calls on Me.  So let them respond to My call and believe in Me.  (Convey this to them),  perhaps they may be guided aright!

The All Knowing, All Wise Allah knows what is good and what is bad for us;  therefore,  if one asks for something good and lawful,  Allah will give him/her one of three things:

• Allah will give the believer what he/she has supplicated for.
• If what the believer is asking is not good or harmful for the believer in this world, Allah will store it for him for the world of the Hereafter.
• If what the believer is asking is not good or harmful for the believer in this world, Allah will turn away from the believer an equivalent amount of evil.

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2257        Narrated by Abu Sa'id al-Khudri

The Prophet (saws) said, "Any Muslim who makes a supplication containing nothing which is sinful, or which involves breaking ties of relationship,  will be given for it by Allah one of three things: He will give him swift answer, or store it up for him in the next world, or turn away from him an equivalent amount of evil."  Those who heard it said they would then make many supplications and he (saws) replied that Allah was more ready to answer than they were to ask.

Nu'man b. Bashir reported that the Prophet (saws), said, "Verily supplication is worship."

Narrated by Ahmad and Sunan.

Abu Hurairah reported, "The Prophet (saws) said, "Nothing is more dear to Allah than one's supplication to Him.'' 

Narrated by Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah.

Ibn Mas'ud reported that the Prophet (saws), said, "If any servant of Allah afflicted with distress or grief makes this supplication, his supplication will be accepted:  'O Allah, I am Your servant, son of Your servant, son of your maidservant.   My forehead is in Your hand.   Your command conceming me prevails, and Your decision concerning me is just.  I call upon You by every one of the beautiful names by which You have described Yourself, or which You have revealed in Your book, or have taught anyone of Your creatures, or which You have chosen to keep in the knowledge of the unseen with You, to make the Qur'an the delight of my heart, the light of my breast, and remover of my griefs, sorrows, and afflictions'." A supplication in these words will be answered.  Allah will remove one's affliction and replace it with joy and happiness.

Salman reported that the Prophet (saws), said, "Your Lord, the Blessed and the Exalted One, is Modest and Generous, and He loathes to turn away His servant empty-handed when he raises his hands to Him in supplication."

Narrated by Ahmad and Ibn Hibban.

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2248        Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "There are three whose supplication is not rejected:  one who has just ended a fast,  a just imam,  and one who has been wronged,  whose supplication is raised by Allah above the clouds and for which the gates of Heaven are opened.   The Lord says, 'I swear by My Might that I shall certainly help you, though it be after some time.'"

Abu Hurairah reported that the Prophet (saws) said, "Your supplication will be answered if you are not impatient, and if you do not say, 'I supplicated but my supplication was not heard'."

Narrated by Malik.

In light of the above aayah and the various narrations from the Messenger of Allah (saws),  it is evident that no supplication unto the Lord Most Gracious made by a sincere believer is ever left unanswered.  

The only supplications which are left unanswered are:

1. A supplication which one does not make!
2. A supplication which one makes with a careless and inattentive heart.
3. A supplication made by one who intentionally and constantly indulges in the unlawful and transgresses the prescribed Boundaries of Allah Subhanah. 

Abdallah b. 'Umar reported that the Prophet (saws) said, "Hearts are like vessels, some more attentive and capacious than others. When you supplicate Allah you should be certain of being answered, and know that Allah does not answer a supplication that comes from a careless and inattentive heart."

Narrated by Ahmad

Allah’s Messenger (saws) mentioned a man who had traveled for a long time. Unkempt and covered in dust, he raised his hands to the heavens (and cried): 'O my Lord!.... O my Lord!.......' His food was unlawful, his drink was unlawful, his clothing was unlawful, and what he had provided to sustain himself with was also unlawful. How could his invocation be accepted?"

Related by Muslim.

Sister going to Umrah, making duaa etc., is acceptable for whatever lawful wish you desire from Allah swt.. But when you state that you have been talking with the man for a few months without a mehram (we presume) then this is totally not acceptable in Islam. You also state that you stayed with him in hopes......We do not know exactly what you mean by this.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah Maidah verse 5:

5        This day are (all) things good and pure made lawful unto you.  The food of the People of the Book is lawful unto you and yours is lawful unto them.  (Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers but chaste women among the People of the Book revealed before your time, when ye give them their due dowers and desire chastitynot lewdness nor secret intrigues.  If anyone rejects faith fruitless is his work and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost (all spiritual good).

Al-Tirmidhi HadithHadith 3118         Narrated byUmar ibn al-Khattab

The Prophet (saws) said, "Whenever a man is alone with a (non-mehram) woman, the Shaitaan is the third."

The casual meeting of two non-mehram members of the opposite sex would be considered developing a relationship, and such lewdness and secret intrigues are indeed a sin in the Sight of the Lord. 

If you have not crossed the boundaries of Sharia law, then you should trust in Allah swt and keep your faith in Him and be patient and wait for His decree. Keep on praying, fasting and giving sadaqa and do not loose hope..

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 33 Surah Ahzaab verse 3:

3        And put thy trust in Allah and enough is Allah as a Disposer of (all) affairs.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 65 Surah Talaq verse 3:

3        And He (Allah) provides for him from (sources) he never could imagine.  And if anyone puts his trust in Allah sufficient is (Allah) for him.  For Allah will surely accomplish His purpose: verily for all things has Allah appointed a due proportion.

Beloved Sister, we remind you as we remind ourselves, that no matter whatever condition and state you find yourself in in the life of this world, never never never ever despair of the Mercy of your Lord Most Merciful.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumar verses 53-54:

53      Say: "O my servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah: for Allah forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving Most Merciful.

54      Turn ye to your Lord (in repentance) and bow to His (Will) before the penalty comes on you: after that ye shall not be helped.”

InshaAllah He will grant you a superior life partner than this man whom you like.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 216:

216    ……But it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you and that ye love a thing which is bad for you.  But Allah Knows and ye know not.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is only ones. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Members of Islamhelpline