Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

assalamwalaikum brother

i posted my mail in regard to wife responsibility towards inlaws n i got ur answer which i den forwarded to my husband so dat he reads n understands but instead he took it negatively n said u dont try to teach me islam....i have been living at my mother's place for the past 2 months n he had refused to take me home unless i say dat i 'll be an obedient wife n do watever  u want n will take full responsibility of ur parents....

in these 2 months i was on the verge of taking a divorce as i dont understand that after 16 years of marriage wat does he expect from me.....

please guide me what to do

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Obey in laws or divorce

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Respected sister, the condition of your husband that you obey him in all of his (lawful) commands is indeed the duty of a believing wife, if indeed she fears Allah and the Last Day.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 34:

34   Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has given the one more than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard (their chastity, their husband’s honor, property, etc.)

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 30 Surah Rome verse 21:

21 And among His Signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts); verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3272 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

When Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) was asked which woman was best he replied, "The one who pleases (her husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command, and does not go against his wishes regarding her person or property by doing anything of which he disapproves."

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 285 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘Had it been permissible that a person may prostrate himself before another, I would have ordered that a wife should prostrate herself before her husband.’

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 286 Narrated by Umm Salamah

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘If a woman dies while her husband was pleased with her, she will enter Paradise.’

Thus sister, if you can bring yourself to accept his other ‘optional’ condition of taking full responsibility of his parents, you are well within your rights to do so…and thus save your marriage. But if for any reason you do not wish to accept this ‘optional’ condition of taking full responsibility of his parents, you are well within your rights in Islam to refuse to do so; and if your husband chooses to divorce you for not accepting this ‘optional’ condition of his, there would be absolutely no sin or blame upon you.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan