Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Salam aleikum brother,

I`m married but sometimes I have discussion with my wife about sex: she don`t like that and she just want to do it once in a week or less. I think that isn`t enough for me and sometime I think to go out for seek another woman and be sinner so.

Please help and tell me what can I do?

May Allah keep you in peace! 

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Answer:

Not satisfied with wife

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 4.460 Narrated by Abu Huraira

The Messenger of Allah (saws) said, "If a husband calls his wife to his bed (i.e. to have sexual relation) and she refuses and causes him to sleep in anger, the angels will curse her till morning."

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.122 Narrated by Abu Huraira

The Prophet (saws) said, "If a woman spends the night deserting her husband's bed (does not sleep with him), then the angels send their curses on her till she comes back (to her husband)."

Muslim records that the companions asked: "O Messenger of Allah (saws) is there a reward if one satisfies his passion?" He (saws) said: "Do you know that if he satisfies it unlawfully he has taken a sin upon himself? Likewise, if he satisfies it lawfully, he is rewarded."

It is the right of the husband and the wife in marriage, that if they invite their spouse for sexual intercourse, they cannot refuse their invitation.

Your Question: I think that isn`t enough for me and sometime I think to go out for seek another woman and be sinner so.

Please help and tell me what can I do?

Beloved brother, fear Allah Subhanah, have patience, and show your wife the above authentic hadiths of the Messenger of Allah (saws) regarding the invocations of Angels of Allah’s curse on the woman who refuses her husband’s invitation to have sex. It may be that she fears Allah Subhanah, and her attitude towards having sex with you whenever you invite her might change.

If her attitude does not change, you are well within your rights to seek another woman; but do it within the boundaries prescribed by Allah Subhanah, and honor and marry the other woman. Whatever you do, fear Allah Subhanah, and do not take the path that leads to illegal sex with a woman who is not your legally wedded wife, for the heinous sin of ‘zina’ is indeed an abomination in the sight of the Merciful Lord. The one who commits ‘zina’ will indeed have a severe accounting in the Presence of the Lord on an Inevitable Day. Beloved brother, fear Allah Subhanah, and exercise only the legal options Allah Subhanah has permitted, and stay far away from ‘zina’, or any path that leads to ‘zina’.

If for any reason, be it financial or otherwise, you are not in a position to take a second wife, and your first wife is adamant in her refusal to satisfy your passion every time you invite her; fear Allah Subhanah, have patience, and if possible: fast; for the Messenger of Allah (saws) said that fasting reduces one sexual desires.

But whatever you do, do not even go near ‘zina’; it is indeed an evil way and a grave sin in the sight of Allah Subhanah!

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Israa verse 32:Do not even go near ‘zina’ (fornication or adultery) for it is a very indecent thing and a very evil way!

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your Brother in Islam,

Burhan