Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

ASSALAM ALAIKUM

I HAVE 2 WIVES , FROM FIRST WIFE I GOT 3 KIDS AND FROM SECOND STILL NO KIDS,

I  USE TO STAY ONE MONTH WITH FIRST WIFE AND ONE MONTH WITH SECOND WIFE EVERY ALTERNATIVLY,

BUT MY FIRST WIFE IS NOT HAPPY  AND NOT SATISFIED, SHE ALWAYS TRYING TO STOP ME TO GO SECOND WIFE, SHE USE TO TELL THAT  SHE IS HAVING CHILDREN SO YOU STAY MORE TIME WITH ME AND CHILDREN,

MY QUESTION  IS :

IS THERE ANY CONSIDERATION  FOR THE CHILDREN  IN THE TERMS OF TIME JUSTIFYING.? REPLY ME

JAZAK ALLAH

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Spend more time with one wife

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 3:

And if you be apprehensive that you will not be able to do justice to the orphans, you may marry two, or three, or four women whom you choose. But if you apprehend that you might not be able to do justice to them, then marry only one.

If one wishes to exercise one’s option of marrying more than one wife, Islam guides that the person must strive to be just and equitable towards his wives with what is directly under his control:

1. The spending of his wealth
2. The distribution of his time.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verses 129-130:

129 Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women even if it is your ardent desire: but turn not away (from a woman) altogether so as to leave her (as it were) hanging (in the air)! If ye come to a friendly understanding and practice self-restraint Allah is Oft-Forgiving Most Merciful.

As hard as one may try to be just and equitable towards his wives, it is only natural that it would be extremely difficult, if not out-right impossible, that one is inclined towards one amongst his wives….maybe because of her superlative beauty, or her excellent behavior, or her pleasant nature, or because of more children from one wife, etc. What Islam absolutely prohibits and declares a sin is that one display discrimination or deficiency in spending his wealth and his time equitably and justly amongst his wives, or turn away from one of his wives as if she were hanging between being married or being single.

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2128 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘When a man has two wives and he is inclined to one of them, he will come on the Day of resurrection with a side hanging down.’

Your Question: IS THERE ANY CONSIDERATION  FOR THE CHILDREN  IN THE TERMS OF TIME JUSTIFYING.?
One who exercises the lawful option of marrying more than one wife is guided by Islam to make sure that he displays equality in the spending of his time and his resources amongst his wives. To spend more time with one wife only because one has off-spring from that wife would not be justified in the Sight of Shariah, for that would be injustice to the other wife.

Your Question: BUT MY FIRST WIFE IS NOT HAPPY  AND NOT SATISFIED, SHE ALWAYS TRYING TO STOP ME TO GO SECOND WIFE,

It would not be piety and righteousness on the part of the first wife to stop her husband from spending equal time with his other wife, or demanding that the husband spend more time with her and her children at the expense of the other wife.

The husband should fear Allah and not satisfy this unlawful demand of his first wife, for if he does, he would be in transgression of the laws of Shariah.

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3696 Narrated by An-Nawwas ibn Sam'an

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "A creature is not to be obeyed when it involves disobedience to the Creator."

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan