I am 25 years old guy and i am in love with a women of 31years old (6 years older than me) and she is also having a young daughter of 14years old.she is divorced and live with her daughter in her own house.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
(May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
As saalalykum
brother,
I am 25 years old guy and i am in love with a women of 31years old (6 years
older than me) and she is also having a young daughter of 14years old.she is
divorced and live with her daughter in her own house,i met her few months ago
and i have been talking to her and going out with her.few weeks back she came
to my house and i cant control my self and i took her to bed and i didnt do
intercourse with her but asked her for a blow job and i also sucked her vaginal
part (sucking that part down.....).after the next day i thaught that wht i did
was wrong,i dont understand what to do as i am very confused and ashamed to
write it to you.
please reply me asap.
thanks
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Answer:
Minor zina
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His
help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide,
and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear
witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear
witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His
Messengers.
Allah says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 17 Surah Israa verse 32:
Do not even go near
‘zina’ (fornication or adultery) for it is a very indecent thing and a very
evil way!
Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 4886 Narrated by Anas ibn Malik
That he heard the Messenger of Allah (saws)
say: ‘The eye commits ‘zina’, and the palm of the hand, the foot, the body, the
tongue and private part of the body confirm it or deny it.’
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.260 Narrated by Ibn Abbas
I have not seen a thing resembling 'lamam'
(minor sins) than what Abu Huraira narrated from the Prophet (saws) who said
"Allah has written for the children of Adan their share of ‘zina’ which he
commits inevitably. The ‘zina’ of the eyes is the sight (to gaze at a forbidden
thing), the ‘zina’ of the tongue is the talk, and the inner self wishes and
desires and the private parts testify all this or deny it."
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 36 Surah
Ya-Seen verse 65:
65 That Day shall We set a seal on their mouths. But their hands will speak to Us and their
feet bear witness to all that they did.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 41 Surah
Ha-Meem verses 19-23:
19 On the Day that the enemies of Allah will be gathered together to
the Fire they will be marched in ranks.
20 At length when they reach the (Fire) their hearing, their sight, and
their skins will bear witness against them as to (all) their deeds.
21 They will say to their skins: "Why bear ye witness against
us?" They (their skins) will say:
"Allah hath given us speech, (He) Who giveth speech to everything: He
created you for the first time and unto Him were ye to return.
22 "Ye did not seek to hide yourselves lest your hearing, your
sight, and your skins should bear witness against you! But ye did think that
Allah knew not many of the things that ye used to do!
23 "But this thought of yours which ye did entertain concerning
your Lord hath brought you to destruction, and (now) have ye become of those
utterly lost!"
Although in legal terminology ‘zina’ would constitute the
actual penetration of the male organ into the female organ out of wedlock, the
Messenger of Allah (saws) warned the believers regarding the minor ‘zina’ of
the eyes, hands, legs, etc. Not only is the evil act of ‘zina’ prescribed as
absolutely forbidden in Islam, every path or every way that leads one to this
evil path is also declared as forbidden!
Such is the gravity of this abomination of ‘zina’, that Allah Subhanah
commands the believers in the Quran: ‘Do not even go near ‘zina’!!!
Thus if one intentionally sees and watches ‘fahisha’
(indecency), it would constitute ‘zina’ of the eyes; if one derives pleasure
from talks of ‘fahisha’, it would constitute ‘zina’ of the ears and mouth, if
one touches or goes towards something or someone with the intention of
‘fahisha’, it would constitute ‘zina’ of the hands and the legs! Although there is no prescribed punishment
for the ‘zina’ of the eyes, mouth, ears, hands and feet in the life of this
world, if one dies without seeking ‘taubah’ and repentance from their Lord, he
will be held severely accountable for these acts of ‘minor’ zina in the
Presence of their Majestic Lord in the Hereafter.
Your Question: ……after
the next day i thaught that wht i did was wrong,i dont understand what to do as
i am very confused and ashamed to write it to you.
Whatever deeds
one might have done, if one turns to
Allah Subhanah in sincere Taubah and seeks forgiveness, Allah Subhanah has promised in the Holy Quran
that He will forgive all the sins of such a believer, even if one has committed the gravest sin of
all: ‘Shirk’!
The conditions or ways to seek sincere Taubah or
Repentance from the Merciful Lord are:
- One
is aware that he has sinned, and
feels sorry and ashamed at his sin.
- Makes
a solemn covenant and promise with Allah that he will not repeat his sin
again.
- Turns
to Allah and seeks forgiveness,
before he has met with his appointment of death.
- Is
a believer and does righteous good deeds thereafter.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah
Zumur verses 53-54:
(O Prophet) say: “O My servants who have wronged
their own souls….Do not despair of Allah’s Mercy! Surely,
Allah forgives all sins. He
indeed is the All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before
the scourge overtakes you; for then you
may get no help from anywhere.”
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale
Imraan verse 135-136:
Allah likes such good people very much,
who, if ever they commit a base deed or
wrong their own soul by the commission of a sin, remember Allah instantly, and ask for forgiveness from Him for their
shortcomings. For who, but Allah,
can forgive sins? (And Allah
loves those) who do not knowingly persist in the wrongs they did. These will be rewarded with forgiveness from
Allah, and with Gardens beneath which
canals flow, and they will reside
therein forever! How excellent is the
reward of those who do good deeds!
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 25 Surah
Furqaan verses 63-71:
The (true) servants of the Merciful are those
who walk humbly on the earth. When the
ignorant people behave insolently towards them,
they say, “Peace to you”; (And
those) who pass their nights in prostrating themselves and standing before
their Lord and pray, “O our Lord, save
us from the torment of Hell, for its
torment is killing! It is an evil
abode, and an evil resting place”. (And those) who, when they spend are neither extravagant, nor miserly,
but keep the golden mean between the two extremes. (And those) who do not invoke any god but
Allah Alone, nor kill a soul
unjustly, which Allah has forbidden, nor commit adultery… He who does this shall
be punished for his sin, and his torment
shall be doubled on the Day of Resurrection,
and he shall abide in a state of ignominy; EXCEPT THE ONE WHO MAY HAVE REPENTED (AFTER
THOSE SINS), AND HAVE BELIEVED AND DONE
RIGHTEOUS DEEDS. For then, Allah will change his evil deeds into good
deeds, and He is very Forgiving and
Merciful. In fact, one who repents and does righteous
deeds, returns to Allah as one rightly
should!
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah
Anaam verse 54:
When those come to you who believe in Our
Signs, say: "Peace be on you! Your Lord had inscribed for Himself (the rule
of) Mercy. Verily if any of you did evil
in ignorance, and thereafter repented
and amended (his conduct), Lo! He is
Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2357 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Mas'ud
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "He who
repents of a sin is like him who has committed no sin."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2338 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "Allah
accepts a servant's repentance (taubah) till he gives up his spirit in
death."
Your
Question: …..i dont understand what to do as i am very confused
The state of shame and anxiety that you have felt after
your unlawful sexual association with a non-mehram woman is evidence to the
fact that ‘faith’ and ‘emaan’ and the fear of Allah and His Day of Accounting
are alive in your heart. Thus brother, first
and foremost, you should immediately turn unto your Lord Most Gracious in ‘taubah’
and seek His sincere forgiveness for your manifest transgression…..if you are
indeed sincere in your repentance, it is expected that you will find your Lord
Forgiving and Merciful.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah
Maidah verse 5:
5 …. (Lawful unto you in
marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers but chaste women among
the People of the Book revealed before your time when ye give them their due
dowers and desire chastity, not lewdness nor secret intrigues. If anyone rejects faith fruitless is his work
and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost (all
spiritual good).
If you sincerely love the sister, honor her by marrying
her; and if for any reason you choose or decide not to marry her, absolutely and
immediately disassociate yourself from her…….but under absolutely no situation
develop any kind or type of bond or relationship with her or any other
non-mehram woman out of marriage, for that then would be a manifest
transgression and a grave sin in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only
due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me
alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is
the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and
well wisher in Islam,
Burhan