Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Dear Brother,

I have listend about you from my freind and read some questions and answers
with the reference of Quran and Hadit, You are doing a most important job,
May Allah help you.

I am going to ask a questionm, which i should ask or not i dont know, but it
is most important for me and many other married peple.

I want to know about the Limitaion of Sex between a Husband and wife, either
the husbend has full authority to use her wife as he wants or wife can
refuse anyting, which she dont like, Should a wife to kiss or suck the
man,s organ, because his husband like to do so.
( I also wants to tell You that i have get divorce, because that kind of
problem)

Thanks for Your help 

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Oral sex

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Statement: I am going to ask a questionm, which i should ask or not i dont know, but it is most important for me and many other married peple.

Beloved sister in Islam, never ever hesitate or apologize for asking any questions in the deen; for the deen or ‘way of life’ called Al-Islam is based on the Perfect Wisdom and Knowledge of the All Knowing Lord, and every single command of the All Wise Lord is abundant in common-sense and logic. Asking any type of questions in Islam to gain more knowledge, or to confirm the Truth so that one’s heart is more content, or to understand and thus follow with more conviction the dictates of the deen is not only permissible, but absolutely encouraged in Islam. It is the right of the brother or sister to ask anything they wish to clarify in the deen; and it is the responsibility and duty of the good scholars to address the question asked to the best of their knowledge and ability, and in the most polite and humble manner.

What is discouraged in Islam is if one asks questions for the sake of asking, or arguing to ridicule the Truth with absolutely no intention of obeying or following when the Truth is made clear to them, etc. But if one asks questions to clarify and seek knowledge so that one may better follow the deen; such seeking of the Knowledge of Truth is absolutely encouraged in Islam

Your Question: I want to know about the Limitaion of Sex between a Husband and wife

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 223:

223 Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will.

Abu Dhar al-Ghafari reported: ‘The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: “there is a reward for you [even] in sex with your wife."’ The companions asked: ‘O Messenger of Allah (saws) is there a reward if one satisfies his passion?" He (saws) said: "Do you know that if he satisfies it unlawfully he has taken a sin upon himself? Likewise, if he satisfies it lawfully, he is rewarded."

Related by Ahmad and Muslim.

Islam has allowed the husband and the wife in marriage every possible liberty to enjoy conjugal relations with each other, except three:

1. It is strictly prohibited to have sexual intercourse with one’s wife during her period of menstruation.
2. It is strictly prohibited to enter the woman through her anus.
3. Although there is no specific prohibition mentioned in the Quran and Sunnah, the majority of the scholars in Islam have voiced their opinion against ‘oral’ sex, whereby one touches the other’s private organs with their mouth.

Other than the above three restrictions, the believers are at absolute liberty to enjoy conjugal relations with each other any place, any time, and any how their heart’s desire.

Your Question: Should a wife to kiss or suck the man,s organ, because his husband like to do so.
To derive pleasure by touching ones spouse’s private parts with the mouth is what is known as ‘oral sex’. Such an act is obviously unnatural, unhealthy, unhygienic, unclean, impure and this act is not found even in any of the lower animate creations!

Because oral sex is a new deviation of mankind, it finds specific mention neither in the Quran nor the Sunnah!

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 7 Surah Aaraaf verse 157:

157 Those who follow the Messenger, the ‘Ummi’ (unlettered) Prophet (Mohammed (saws)) whom they find mentioned in their own (Scriptures); in the Law and the Gospel; for he (Prophet Mohamed (saws)) commands them what is just and forbids them what is evil: he allows them as lawful what is ‘tayyibaat’ (good and pure) and prohibits them from what is ‘Khabaayith’ (bad, evil and impure); He releases them from their heavy burdens and from the yokes that are upon them. So it is those who believe in him, honor him, help him, and follow the Light which is sent down with him: it is they who will prosper."

But since the permissibility/impermissibility of this specific act of what is known today as ‘oral sex’ is not mentioned by name or act anywhere in the Quran and the Sunnah, the God-fearing and the pious amongst the scholars in Islam have abstained from declaring it ‘haraam’; the most they have said is that the act is from the ‘khabaaith’ (impure) and thus closer to the haraam than to the halaal, and the believers should fear Allah and abstain from it.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.267 Narrated by An Numan bin Bashir

The Prophet (saws) said "Both the halaal (lawful) and the haraam (unlawful) things are (made) obvious, and in between them are (suspicious) doubtful matters. So whoever forsakes those doubtful things lest he may commit a sin, will definitely avoid what is clearly unlawful; and whoever indulges in these (suspicious) doubtful things bravely, is likely to commit what is clearly illegal. Sins are Allah's Hima (i.e. private pasture) and whoever pastures (his sheep) near it, is likely to get in it at any moment."

Given the unbelievable liberty Islam has granted to the husband and the wife to enjoy conjugal relations in their sacred bond of marriage, in our humble opinion, it would be best for the believers who sincerely fear Allah and the Last Day to strive to abstain from this doubtful act of ‘oral sex’; and Allah Alone Knows Best.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan