Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Asalam ualaikum brother

i have for the past 2 yrs been involved in a love-less marriage to a man from abroad. After the first few weeks of getting to know him i became aware of how this marriage wasnt going to last. Nonetheless i continued to work at the marriage so to not upset both his and my family. And now i feel enough is enough and unfortunately divorce is the only option available to me. My question to you is how long must i wait before i re-marry again? taking into account the fact that i never slept with him, not once. I`m aware normally the wait is 3 menstrual periods, does this still stand in my case?...and what is the best way in which to go about the divorce?...

jazak allah

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Divorce unhappy marriage

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question: My question to you is how long must i wait before i re-marry again?

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verses 227-228:

227 But if their intention is firm for divorce Allah heareth and knoweth all things.

228 Divorced women shall wait concerning themselves for three monthly periods nor is it lawful for them to hide what Allah hath created in their wombs, if they have faith in Allah and the Last Day. And their husbands have the better right to take them back in that period if they wish for reconciliation. And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them according to what is equitable; but men have a degree (of advantage) over them and Allah is Exalted in Power, Wise.

Dear and beloved Sister in Islam, after the declaration of divorce from your husband, you would indeed have to observe the ‘iddah’ or waiting period of divorce as prescribed in Shariah Law, which is three menstrual periods.

If at the end of the ‘iddah’ of three menstrual periods, the divorce is not revoked (assuming it’s the 1^st or 2^nd divorce and thus revocable); the divorce will be considered established in Shariah and the woman is absolutely free to seek to marry anyone she chooses.

Your Question: ….taking into account the fact that i never slept with him, not once.

As long as the ‘nikaah’ was performed and the couple lived together, absolutely regardless of whether or not the couple consummated their marriage, the ‘iddah’ or waiting period at divorce must be honored by the wife, if indeed she believes in Allah and the Last Day.

Your Question: ….and what is the best way in which to go about the divorce?...

When a divorce is initiated by the wife in a marriage, it is known in Fiqh or Islamic Jurisprudence terms as a ‘Khula’ divorce.

There are basically three ways a wife can seek a divorce:

1. Ask her husband that she no longer wishes to remain his wife, and the husband accedes to her request and pronounces a divorce on her.
2. If the husband refuses to divorce her, she has the right to Initiate a divorce proceedings in a Shariah Court, whereby the Judge will study the conditions and reasons for seeking divorce, and then summon the husband and give him an option: either he accedes to the wife’s divorce request and pronounces divorce on her, or the Court will use its authority and divorce the couple.
3. If the husband does not pronounce the divorce and the Judge sees valid reason for divorce, the Shariah Judge has the authority to divorce the couple.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verses 229-231:

229 A divorce is only permissible twice: after that the parties should either hold together on equitable terms or separate with kindness. It is not lawful for you (men) to take back any of your gifts (from your wives) except when both parties fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah. If ye (judges) do indeed fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah there is no blame on either of them if she give something for her freedom. These are the limits ordained by Allah; so do not transgress them. If any do transgress the limits ordained by Allah such persons wrong (themselves as well as others).

230 So if a husband divorces his wife (irrevocably) he cannot after that remarry her until after she has married another husband and he has divorced her. In that case there is no blame on either of them if they reunite provided they feel that they can keep the limits ordained by Allah. Such are the limits ordained by Allah which He makes plain to those who understand.

231 When ye divorce women and they fulfil the term of their (`Iddat) either take them back on equitable terms or set them free on equitable terms; but do not take them back to injure them or to take undue advantage; if anyone does that He wrongs his own soul. Do not treat Allah's Signs as a jest but solemnly rehearse Allah's favors on you and the fact that He sent down to you the Book and Wisdom for your instruction. And fear Allah and know that Allah is well acquainted with all things.

If it is the wife who initiates the divorce or ‘khula’ in marriage, she is required to repay the husband back the ‘mehr’ he paid her at the time of ‘nikaah’, unless of course the husband, of his own will, wishes to let his wife keep the ‘mehr’ he paid her. But if the husband initiates or pronounces the divorce, it is absolutely forbidden for him to demand any payment or recompense of the ‘mehr’ or any other gifts he might have given his wife during their marriage.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan