Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Dear Brother,

Assalam alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu

I am writing to you regarding a very grave matter. We are 2 brothers and one sister living together and our parents have passed away. Alhamdulillah Allah Has guided me to study the Quran and it is the best treasure one can have. My question is regarding my brother. He is 24 and watches pornography regularly. I have known about this from before and try to talk to him generally about how Allah is watching and He knows what we do when we are alone. I gave him duas to read before going to sleep. I tell him how when one watches this stuff they dont feel like praying. He is addicted to movies, watches tv/cable, downloads movies from internet, stays up the whole night, tries to pray friday prayers. Once I found some video material and threw it out. He got so angry he was ready to beat me but Alhamdulillah he cooled down. I did get scared but knew I had to stop this evil with my hand and not have the weakest form of eeman. I think he was shamed that his sister found out. Now I have found another set of material. I am praying to Allah for wisdom to deal with this problem. I did`nt destroy it as yet because I remember the last episode. He has to get married one day, I cannot think ofhow we can approach another sister knowing our brother. Please guide me as a sister how should I help him tackle this problem.

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Answer:

Brother watches pornography

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.592 Narrated by Abdullah bin Umar

I heard Allah's Messenger (saws) saying, "Everyone of you is a guardian, and responsible for what is in his custody. The ruler is a guardian of his subjects and responsible for them; a husband is a guardian of his family and is responsible for it; a lady is a guardian of her husband's house and is responsible for it, and a servant is a guardian of his master's property and is responsible for it. A man is a guardian of his father's property and is responsible for it, so all of you are guardians and responsible for your wards and things under your care."

Dear and beloved Sister in Islam, first and foremost, a sister is not considered the ‘guardian’ of her adult brother in Shariah Law….thus rest absolutely assured that you are not responsible for the actions of your brother, nor will you be questioned regarding the choices and decisions made by your brother.

Secondly, regarding the guidance of stopping evil with ones hands and tongue is only valid for the guardians who has been given or prescribed authority over those who commit evil. A sister in Shariah is not considered a guardian of her adult brother, thus she obviously does not possess the authority to forcibly stop her brother from committing evil.

But if she sincerely loves her brother, and fears the unimaginable and severe accounting the evil deeds of her brother will bring upon himself……the absolute maximum she may and should do is, with absolute patience and above all wisdom, strive to invite her brother to fear the Tribunal of The Lord Most Majestic. If the brother is adamant on his evil and absolutely disregards her good advice and caution, the brother alone will be responsible for his deeds in the Tribunal of the Lord Most High, Most Supreme.

Your Question: Please guide me as a sister how should I help him tackle this problem.

Dear and beloved Sister in Islam, the easy access to pornography is indeed a disease of the age we unfortunately live in today! Since you as a sister are not the legal guardian of your adult brother, there is unfortunately very little you can do to stop him from indulging in the evil, except perhaps with patience, and above all wisdom, strive to strike the fear of Allah into him. It is this ‘fear’ of Allah Subhanah alone that has the power to enable one from abstaining from evil deeds.

Alternatively you could encourage your brother to get married, for that will then hopefully reduce his indulgence in the evil of pornography….but above all, what you as his loving and caring sister can and should do, is remain constant in your supplications to your Lord Most Gracious, and beseech your Lord day and night to guide your brother to the Straight Path that leads to His Mercy.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan