Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Dear Burhan, Is it wrong if I supplicate to Allah SWT that He make distance between me and my ex-husband as He has made distance between the east and west.

I harbour no ill feelings towards my ex. I have forgiven him completely and I hope he has forgiven me. However, because of the sad phrase that each of us go through due to the divorce, I often asked Allah SWT to help me to overcome the pain by making this type of supplication. I feel that it is better if my ex would be made to be as far away as possible from me (physically, mentally, spritually) so that I will not have any more ill feelings for him. Would this kind of supplications be termed as breaking of relationship?Is it wrong?

If it is, could you tell me how else should I supplicate so that Allah SWT will help me to overcome this grief in peace and move on. Wa`salam. Dear Burhan –

please please please don`t publish my name on your answer because I don`t want any the readers to be able to identify me. Thank you.

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Relation between Divorced couple

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

The relationship of a man and a woman in marriage, is indeed a close, sound, and sacred bond in Islam. Islam has guided the believers that when they marry one another, they do so in an honorable way; and if perchance, they are to divorce; they should do so in an honorable way.

It is indeed honorable and good that you have brought yourself to forgive your ex-husband; as it is considered amongst the good characters of the righteous believers, to forgive one another.

Your question: Is it wrong if I supplicate to Allah SWT that He make distance between me and my ex-husband as He has made distance between the east and west.

There is no harm if you supplicate Allah Subhanah in this way.

Your question: Would this kind of supplications be termed as breaking of relationship? Is it wrong?

Once a man and a woman are divorced, they are non-mehram to one another. There is absolutely no harm if you supplicate Allah Subhanah to keep your ex-husband away from you and your thoughts. This will not be considered as breaking of relationships… that only applies if one breaks the ties of relationships which Allah Subhanah has created for man.. like father/son, mother/son, brother/sister, cousins, uncles, etc.

Your question: If it is, could you tell me how else should I supplicate so that Allah SWT will help me to overcome this grief in peace and move on.

It would be better and purer for you to supplicate Allah Subhanah to grant you patience and steadfastness, and help you overcome whatever ill happened in the relationship in your marriage. You may supplicate Allah Subhanah to forgive you for your short-comings; and also pray to Allah Subhanah to forgive your husband for his short-comings. You may also supplicate Allah Subhanah that if He Wills, He give you a better and more righteous husband than your ex-husband; and also pray that Allah Subhanah give your ex-husband a better wife than you.

Your question: please please please don`t publish my name on your answer because I don`t want any the readers to be able to identify me.

Dear and beloved sister in Islam, please be rest assured that we will never ever publish or give your (or anyone else’s) name and address to anyone! If you wish that we should not circulate your letter to the other brothers and sisters on the forum, so that they may learn from your experience; we will not circulate your letter. It is a strict policy of the brothers and sisters who moderate this forum, that all articles be circulated in complete confidentiality; and whatever may happen, you may rest assured, that we will never ever publish or give your name and address to anyone.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your Brother in Islam,

Burhan