Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Assalamu Alaikum
I am married and have a daughter who is 5 yrs old.my husband is one of those people who visits dargahs and is really involved in it.he has a spiritual leader and he obeys him unconditionally.i am not that type and was not brought up that way too.so everything he does is new to me and sometimes irritating too.we have had many arguments about this but when it comes to my daughter i do not want to bring her up in his way so the arguments increase day by day.he does everything what you call shirk.if his leader says to leave me i dont think he would disobey him.its to that extent.sometimes even i feel i should leave him so that he can live happily instead of arguing everyday.as a wife i have to obey him but should i obey him in this matter ??.i do not want to change and i am very adamant in this and do not want my child to go in a wrong way.what do i do??what does Koran say about obeying a husband who is leading in a wrong path.please guide me. thank u and keep up your good work. 

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Answer:

Should one obey husband in Shirk?

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question: as a wife i have to obey him but should i obey him in this matter ?? what does Koran say about obeying a husband who is leading in a wrong path.please guide me.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 34: Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has given the one more than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard.

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 285 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

The Prophet (said) said: “Had it been permissible that a person may prostrate himself before another, I would have ordered that a wife should prostrate herself before her husband.”

Allah Subhanah has commanded the believing woman, who sincerely fears Allah and the Last Day, to be devoutly obedient to her husband. And the Messenger of Allah (saws) gave an example of the epitome of this obedience when he said that had it been permissible that a person may prostrate himself before another, he would have ordered the wife to prostrate herself before her husband!

BUT, if the husband or anyone else in creation commands the wife to do anything which is against the tenets and commands of Allah Subhanah, she is not to obey them in this matter!

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3696 Narrated by An-Nawwas ibn Sam'an

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "A creature is not to be obeyed when it involves disobedience to the Creator."

After the Rights that are due to Allah and His Messenger (saws), the biggest rights are due to one’s parents. If even the parents command their children to commit ‘shirk’ and associate another with Allah Subhanah, they are not to obey this command of theirs!

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 31 Surah Luqman verses 14-15:

14 And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command) "Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal.

15 But if they strive to make them join in worship with Me things of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not; Yet bear them company in this life with justice (and consideration), and follow the way of those who turn to Me (in love): in the End the return of you all is to Me and I will tell you the truth (and meaning) of all that ye did.

Thus, our beloved sister in Islam, even if your husband commands you to commit ‘shirk’ with Allah Subhanah, you should not obey him in this command of his! But in all other matters of the world, you should fulfill all your duties and responsibilities towards him in full.

Even if he takes the extreme step of threatening or divorcing you because you disobeyed his command to commit the heinous crime of ‘shirk’ with Allah Subhanah; you should not obey him in this matter, no matter what the consequences! Allah is the Protector of the believers, and He will provide for you from His Unlimited and Unending Bounties, and give you a huge reward on the Day when all mankind will be humbled before Him.

May Allah Subhanah make your trial easy for you, have mercy on you, help you, guide you, and give you the wisdom, patience, and courage to stay steadfast on the Straight Path of Tauheed.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your Brother in Islam,

Burhan