Sex before marriage
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
As Salaam Aleikum Brother
Two years back I started going out with a guy who was not from the same country as me but he is also a Muslim, I asked my parents if we could get married and they refused and so did his parents.
We made a very big mistake with having a sexual relationship, we ask Allah for forgiveness everyday, we made a very stupid mistake and we both regret it. However we want to get married. But I heard from somewhere that if a couple have intercourse before marriage they are not allowed to get married in Islam.
We wanted to know what could we do to show Allah how sorry we both are? Also can we not get married because of the sin we have done? what can we do in a situation which both are parents are not agreeing?
Please brother help us with our problem. We both want to be forgiven for the mistake we made.
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Sex before marriage
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Your Question: We both
want to be forgiven for the mistake we made.
My beloved sister in Islam, if one is ashamed of one’s past deeds, and genuinely turns to The Merciful Lord and seeks sincere repentance for the deeds one did in the past, and makes a solemn covenant with his Lord that he will not commit the evil again, and believes and does righteous deeds thereafter; he will find his Lord Oft Forgiving, Most Merciful.
Whatever sins you might have done in your past, if you sincerely turn to the Merciful Lord in sincere repentance and Taubah before your appointment of death, and amend your conduct hereafter; it is expected that you will find your Lord Forgiving and Merciful. Never ever despair of Allah’s Mercy; for Allah Subhanah is extremely loving and Merciful towards His believing slaves.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54: (O Prophet) say: “O My servants who have wronged their own souls….Do not despair of Allah’s Mercy! Surely, Allah forgives all sins. He indeed is the All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before the scourge overtakes you; for then you may get no help from anywhere.”
The conditions or way to seek sincere Taubah or Repentance from the Merciful Lord are:
One is aware that he has sinned, and feels sorry and ashamed at his sin.
Makes a solemn covenant and promise with Allah that he will not repeat his sin again.
Turns to Allah and seeks forgiveness, before he has met with his appointment of death.
Is a believer and does righteous good deeds thereafter.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 135-136: Allah likes such good people very much, who, if ever they commit a base deed or wrong their own soul by the commission of a sin, remember Allah instantly, and ask for forgiveness from Him for their shortcomings. For who, but Allah, can forgive sins? (And Allah loves those) who do not knowingly persist in the wrongs they did. These will be rewarded with forgiveness from Allah, and with Gardens beneath which canals flow, and they will reside therein forever! How excellent is the reward of those who do good deeds!
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 25 Surah Furqaan verses 63-71: The (true) servants of the Merciful are those who walk humbly on the earth. When the ignorant people behave insolently towards them, they say, “Peace to you”; (And those) who pass their nights in prostrating themselves and standing before their Lord and pray, “O our Lord, save us from the torment of Hell, for its torment is killing! It is an evil abode, and an evil resting place”. (And those) who, when they spend are neither extravagant, nor miserly, but keep the golden mean between the two extremes. (And those) who do not invoke any god but Allah Alone, nor kill a soul unjustly, which Allah has forbidden, nor commit adultery… He who does this shall be punished for his sin, and his torment shall be doubled on the Day of Resurrection, and he shall abide in a state of ignominy; EXCEPT THE ONE WHO MAY HAVE REPENTED (AFTER THOSE SINS), AND HAVE BELIEVED AND DONE RIGHTEOUS DEEDS. For then, Allah will change his evil deeds into good deeds, and He is very Forgiving and Merciful. In fact, one who repents and does righteous deeds, returns to Allah as one rightly should!
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 54: When those come to you who believe in Our Signs, say: "Peace be on you! Your Lord had inscribed for Himself (the rule of) Mercy. Verily if any of you did evil in ignorance, and thereafter repented and amended (his conduct), Lo! He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."
Your Question: But I
heard from somewhere that if a couple have intercourse before marriage they are
not allowed to get married in Islam.
If a couple commit the sin of fornication or have sexual intercourse before marriage, and subsequently seek repentance for their sins from the Merciful Lord, there is absolutely nothing in Islamic Law that would prohibit their marriage to each other.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your Brother in Islam,