Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Dear Burhaan bhai

Assalamoalaikum wa rahmatullah

I would like to know about upbringing of children according to islam in the modern society. What would be the duty of parents as we cant isolate them from the world around us. pls answer elaborately in the light of quraan and sunnah.

Jazak allah khair

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Answer:

Duties of parents in upbringing child

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Statement: as we cant isolate them from the world around us.

First and foremost, the believers who sincerely believe in Allah and the Last Day, must comprehend and understand that Islam is not a Way of Life which wants its followers to isolate themselves from the world and live a life of seclusion like the Buddhist monks, Christian priests, Hindu sahdus, etc.! Islam guides its followers that to attain the goal of the Hereafter, one has to live a full life in this world, and makes it a condition that the only way to attain success in the Hereafter, is to tread the path of this worldly life.

One may wear the best clothes, eat the best food, live in the best houses, drive the best vehicle, live a full marital life, have and enjoy children, and enjoy and be grateful for all the blessings and mercies bestowed upon him by the Bounteous and Generous Lord; provided one lives within the boundaries declared by Allah and His Messenger (saws). And that is precisely the test Allah Subhanah has ordained for mankind! The way one lives his life, and the deeds he does in the life of this world, will determine his result of success or failure in the Hereafter.

If one wears torn clothes, or eats and lives like a miser, and does not marry, and lives his life in isolation in caves and jungles; even though he was bestowed with everything from His Merciful Lord; he in fact did not give the test at all!

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 7 Surah Aaraaf verses 32-34:

31 O children of Adam! Wear your beautiful apparel at every time and place of prayer: eat and drink: but waste not by excess, for Allah loveth not the wasters.

32 Say: ‘Who hath forbidden the beautiful (gifts) of Allah which He hath produced for his servants, and the things clean and pure (which He hath provided) for sustenance?’ Say: ‘they are in the life of this world for those who believe, (and) purely for them on the Day of Judgment.’ Thus do We explain the signs in detail for those who understand.

33 Say: The things that my Lord hath indeed forbidden are: shameful deeds whether open or secret, sins, and trespasses against Truth or reason; assigning of partners to Allah for which he hath given no authority; and saying things about Allah of which ye have no knowledge.

34 To every people is a term appointed: when their term is reached not an hour can they cause delay nor (an hour) can they advance (it in anticipation).

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 180:And let not those who covetously withhold of the gifts which Allah hath given them of His Grace think that it is good for them: Nay! It will be the worse for them: soon shall the things which they covetously withheld be tied to their necks like a twisted collar on the Day of Judgment. To Allah belongs the heritage of the heavens and the earth; and Allah is well acquainted with all that ye do.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 28 Surah Qasas verse 77: But seek with the (wealth) which Allah has bestowed on thee the Home of the Hereafter, nor forget thy portion in this world: but do thou good as Allah has been good to thee, and seek not (occasions for) mischief in the land: for Allah loves not those who do mischief.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Israa verses 29-30:

29 Make not thy hand tied (like a niggard's) to thy neck, nor stretch it forth to its utmost reach so that thou become blameworthy and destitute.

30 Verily thy Lord doth provide sustenance in abundance for whom He pleaseth, and He provideth in a just measure: for He doth know and regard all His servants.

In light of the above Aayahs of the Glorious Quran, and in the example of the life of the Prophet Mohamed (saws), it is absolutely clear that there is no concept of isolation like the hermits and monks of other religions, in Islam!

Your Question: I would like to know about upbringing of children according to islam in the modern society.

The believers who sincerely believe in Allah and the Last Day must strive to cherish and nurture their children in the best possible manner, especially in today’s modern-educated-ignorant society.

Listed are a few things which will help in the upbringing of a child to make him a righteous slave of Allah Subhanah, and a good citizen of the world.

Love, respect, honor, cherish, and nurture the child with utmost affection and mercy.

Bear responsibility and provide for the child, his food, clothing, shelter, and expenses, etc. from the Bounty which Allah Subhanah has provided.

Strive to give them the best education possible in the deen and the ‘duniya’ (world).

Cultivate in the children to respect the tenets of Islam.

Live the righteous life of a true believer and grateful slaves of Allah Subhanah ourselves, and be the best possible role models for our children.

Teach them good manners, good etiquettes, and guide them to be truthful, honest, respectful to parents, teachers, elders, etc.

Instill the concept of the inevitable ‘Accountability of the Hereafter’, where no deeds will be hidden from the One Who is All-Seeing, All-Hearing, and All-Aware.

Inspire them to respect the boundaries laid down by Allah and His Messenger (saws) in living the life of this world.

Make the life of the Messenger of Allah (saws), his noble Ahle-bayt, and his noble companions his role models and ideals.

Teach the child discipline….and make him understand that this life is not a mere play or place of amusement; and teach him that man was created for a mission.

Instill in the child that the only destination and goal of the believers is to gain the Pleasure and Good-Will of Allah Subhanah, and instill in them the fear of Allah’s Wrath and Anger and Ever-lasting punishment.

Explain the Glorious Quran to him in the language he understands best, and tell him the real heroes of this world are not the rock stars, or the movie stars, or the sport stars, etc.; but the real heroes are the Prophets of Allah, his noble companions, and the true believers who fear Allah.

Strive to make him the best muslim of his generation in knowledge and in deeds, and to be the best citizen of humanity.

The upbringing of a muslim child should be the life-long mission of every God-Fearing parent; and if every believing parent fulfills his role in this duty, the next generation of muslims will Insha Allah, not suffer the humility and degradation that our generation has suffered at the hands of the disbelievers. This is not only a dream and a hope, but it is our ardent and humble prayer to the Merciful Lord to bestow his Mercy and Grace upon the Muslim Ummah, so that we may recognize and fulfill our role for which we were created by the Creator: that is, to be a witness of the Divine Truth in this world!

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 143:Thus have We made of you an Ummah justly balanced, that ye might be witnesses over the nations, and the Messenger a witness over yourselves!

If we do not honor this role of being the Witnesses of the Divine Truth to the nations of the World, the Majestic and All-Mighty Lord is indeed Self-Sufficient and stands in no need of anything in Creation! He can very well destroy and annihilate us all, and bring about a new people and a new generation who will honor and fulfill this role!

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah Maidah verse 54:O ye who believe! If any from among you turn back from his faith, soon will Allah produce a people whom He will love, and they will love Him; humble with the believers and mighty against the rejecters; fighting in the way of Allah, and never afraid of the reproaches of such as find fault. That is the Grace of Allah, which He will bestow on whom He Pleaseth: and Allah Encompasseth all, and He Knoweth all things.

We beg and implore our Merciful Lord in absolute humility and in fear, and beg Him in all earnestness to choose and honor us to be the Witnesses; and beseech Him in fear and in humility to take this work from us and not from others. We humbly beseech, beg, implore, and plead our Merciful Lord to have Mercy upon us, guide us, forgive us our short-comings, and help us to become His witnesses to all mankind.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your Brother in Islam,

Burhan