Talking to non-mehram / platonic love
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
I am in love with a girl,we want to marry but after getting settled in our respective carriers.She lives in another state and we dont meet eacth other but only talk on phone or throught internet,We usually talk about society,life,world etc.i dont feel sexually attracted to her and its more of platonic love.my question is should i stop talking to her till our marriage or can we talk?
(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)
Answer:
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Dear and Beloved Brother in Islam, it is highly unnatural that a young man develops a relationship with a young non-mehram woman with the intent to marry her, and says that they are ‘not’ sexually attracted towards each other!
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah Maidah verse 5:
5 This day are (all) things good and pure made lawful unto you. The food of the People of the Book is lawful unto you and yours is lawful unto them. (Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers but chaste women among the People of the Book revealed before your time, when ye give them their due dowers and desire chastity not lewdness nor secret intrigues. If anyone rejects faith fruitless is his work and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost (all spiritual good).
Beloved brother, Allah has commanded the believers to preserve their chastity and absolutely declared forbidden lewdness or secret intrigues and relationships with non-mehram members of the opposite sex.
If you sincerely love the sister and intend to marry her, do the righteous thing and honor her by approaching her guardians and seeking her hand in marriage. If you abstain from developing a secret relationship with her only because of Allah, it is expected that Allah Subhanah will bless your relationship and reward you from His Unending and Infinite Mercies.
There is absolutely no harm if the two of you love each other and wish to get married and live with each other only after you have settled yourselves in your respective careers. The only legal and righteous way to keep the relationship with your beloved and stay within the boundaries of your All-Seeing, All-Knowing Lord is to either speak or meet the woman only in the presence of her male mehram guardian (father, uncle, brother, etc.), or perform the ‘nikaah’ now and settle down with her after you are comfortable in your respective career.
But to talk to your beloved in secret without the presence of her male mehram guardian or without having performed the ‘nikaah’ with her, would be a grave sin and a direct and daring violation of the boundaries of the Lord All-Mighty.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in Islam,
Members of Islamhelpline
Wister