Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Salaam,

Brother my question is regarding the woman`s rights upon her Haq-e-Mehar. I was paid full amount of my mehar in the shape of gold ornaments at the time of nikkah. And its mentioned clearly in the nikkah papers that "The full amount of mehar is paid to bride in the shape of gold ornaments". Now my father-in-law and mother-in-law are continuously demanding me through my husband that i shall give them a written document in which it should be mentioned that the gold of mehar is currently in my custody.

I want to mention here that just after my marriage they tried a lot to take hold of that gold from me but as it was my mehar so i never gave it to them. Now they want me to write them this paper and i don`t want to do it because I`ve doubts about their intentions. Also I`ve mentioned them many times that its already been written and signed once, by me and my husband in nikkah papers that I`ve received my mehar, so there is no need to document it again. But they force me to do it without any solid reason. Are they rightful in taking back my mehar or are they rightful in asking me to give them a written document about the custody of mehar Gold when its already mentioned in nikah-nama???

I`ll be highly obliged if you answer me as soon as possible. My marriage is at stake due to this problem. I don`t want to ruin my marriage as well as i don`t want to leave my rights. plz help me out. Thanks

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Inlaws demand mehr confirmation in writing

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 4:

4 And give the women (bride) their dower (mehr) as a free gift; but if they of their own good pleasure remit any part of it to you, take it and enjoy it with good cheer.

One of the absolutely obligatory conditions of a marriage in Islam is that the groom has to give his bride a ‘mehr’ (gift) as demanded by the bride before the ‘nikaah’…..the ‘mehr’ in Islam can be whatever gift the bride is satisfied with; it can be as little as a pair of sandals or as much as a whole treasure of gold or even more!

If you have signed the nikah-namah stating that you have received the mehr amount in gold that should suffice.

But, if your in-laws are today insisting you sign another document, then just to ease the tension in your house, there is no harm if the document is made correctly in which you are stating that you have received your mehr in the form of gold ornaments on the date of your nikah namah. Please ensure that the wordings are made properly so that it is not used unfairly against you.

I want to mention here that just after my marriage they tried a lot to take hold of that gold from me but as it was my mehar so i never gave it to them.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 34:

34 Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has given the one more than the other, and because they (the men) support them (the females under their care) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard (their chastity, their husband’s property and honor, etc.).

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 65 Surah Talaq verse 7:

7 Let the man of means spend (on his wife and family) according to his means: and the man whose resources are restricted let him spend according to what Allah has given him. Allah puts no burden on any person beyond what He has given him. After a difficulty Allah will soon grant relief.

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2139 Narrated by Mu'awiyah al-Qushayri

I went to the Messenger of Allah (saws) and asked him: ‘O Messenger of Allah (saws), what do you say (command) us about our wives?’ He (saws) replied: ‘Give them food what you have for yourself, and clothe them by which you clothe yourself, and do not beat them, and do not revile them.’

Islam has laid the complete financial duty and responsibility of the upkeep of the womenfolk and the house upon the shoulders of the men….the father is responsible for the complete financial upkeep of his daughters, the husband is responsible for the complete financial of his wives, the sons are responsible for the complete financial upkeep of their mother, etc. From her cradle to her youth to her old age, Islam has commanded the men-folk to fully and appropriately provide for the financial upkeep of the women-folk under their authority and care according to the means available to them.

Respected sister, The mehr is now your property and you are the sole owner and you can keep it with you or you are well within your rights to do whatever you wish and please with your wealth.

If you wish to use your mahr amount to help with the family income, you are obviously well within your rights to do so. But if you do not wish to help your husband or his family, no one has a right to force, or coerce, or compel you to part with your wealth against your wish and desire.

It would not be lawful for your husband or his family to force or compel or threaten you to share the mehr with or on them……if they did so, they would be in violation of your rights guaranteed unto you by Shariah and Allah Subhanah.

If your husband or his family force or compel or coerce you to part with your wealth, and it is not your desire to do so, you should inform them politely and firmly regarding your decision….and there would be absolutely no blame or sin upon you in the least.

Sister Brother Burhan is out of station, and because you required an urgent ruling that is why we have tried to answer your question as clearly as possible.

We hope the answer is helpful. If you need to know anything else please do not hesitate to ask.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is only ones. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Members of Islamhelpline