Couple wishing to marry meet alone
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
(May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
Salam
be on to you and the Muslim Uhma,
Please
help answer this question as soon as you can.
I am a divorcee. There is this man who has proposed to me 9 months after the
break up of my first marriage. He has discussed this with his parents seeking
their consent and assistant to marry me. His uncle who is now his Wali was a
bit difficult because he once chooses a woman for him to marry and he turns it
down. So he asked him to wait for a time that is too long for both of us
to wait without any reason.
While
waiting for the uncle’s approval, unfortunately, on two occasions we kissed and
cuddled but nothing more than that. Am please asking if this marriage can still
take place and be blessed as a marriage in Islam.
I know
marriage is a very important thing in our deen, so I want to marry according to
my religion and expect earning the blessings of Allah (SWT). This is a thing we
both regret so much.
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Answer:
Couple wishing to
marry meet alone
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His
help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide,
and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear
witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear
witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His
Messengers.
Your
Question: ….While waiting for the uncle’s approval, unfortunately, on two
occasions we kissed and cuddled but nothing more than that.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah
Maidah verse 5:
(Lawful unto you in
marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers but chaste women among
the People of the Book revealed before your time when ye give them their
due dowers and desire chastity not lewdness nor secret intrigues. If anyone rejects faith fruitless is his work
and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3118 Narrated by Umar ibn al-Khattab
The Prophet (saws) said, "Whenever a man
is alone with a (non-mehram) woman, the Shaytaan makes the third."
Islam has categorically prohibited that two members of the
opposite sex casually meet, talk, or interact alone; unless there is absolutely
genuine and valid reason to do so.
If the two of you casually met, talked, and interacted and
your emotions got the better of you and you touched, kissed, or cuddled….indeed
the two of you are guilty of transgressing the Prescribed Boundaries of Allah
Subhanah! It is only prudent that if the
two of you sincerely fear Allah and the Last Day, you should turn unto Him in
sincere ‘taubah’ and seek repentance and abstain from such illicit meetings and
interactions until you are bonded with each other in the sacred bond of
marriage.
If you are indeed sincere in seeking repentance, it is
expected that you will find your Lord Forgiving and Merciful.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale
Imraan verse 135-136:
Allah likes such good people very much,
who, if ever they commit a base deed or
wrong their own soul by the commission of a sin, remember Allah instantly, and ask for forgiveness from Him for their
shortcomings. For who, but Allah,
can forgive sins? (And Allah
loves those) who do not knowingly persist in the wrongs they did. These will be rewarded with forgiveness from
Allah, and with Gardens beneath which
canals flow, and they will reside
therein forever! How excellent is the
reward of those who do good deeds!
Your
Question: …Am please asking if this marriage can still take place and be
blessed as a marriage in Islam.
As grave and as heinous your transgression might be in the
Sight of Allah Subhanah, your illicit meeting and interaction with the person
by itself does not prohibit you in the least from seeking to marry the person
of your choice….provided all the legal obligations of a marriage are
scrupulously honored.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only
due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me
alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is
the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and
well wisher in Islam,
Burhan