Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Assalamu Alaikum,

I am having a big problem right now and I am not sure how I should react to it. My husband converted to Islam about 6 months a go. We were married a few weeks afterwards. Before this time I was aware that he had a past of going to online websites (sex sites) and chatting to girls by email, looking at pictures and using instant messenger and his phone for texting to talk sexy to these women. He also had a history of using a web cam to show some things like that to the women of what he is doing and what they are doing I guess. Before we were married he assured me that he had stop ALL of this behaviour and realized it was not right and he tell me that he doesn`t ever want to do it again for fear of losing me in future. Well yesterday I found out that he never stopped any of this bad behavior. In fact it is going on now more than ever!!! He is on several XXX websites chatting to girls, messenger service and giving out his cell phone number to these girls so they can call him or text him. He has assure me that he has never met any of these girls but I am not feeling like I can trust him at all through this deceit! I am not staying with him right now I am away with my father in another country for a few weeks. He is supposed to be joining me in 2 weeks but at this point I am not sure if I want to continue to have a relationship with a lying adulterous person.... :( I really love my husband so much and I want him to be able to overcome these desires. I am embarrassed to talk to our Sheik about it because I don`t want to be judged for being a bad wife or something that I can not satisfy my husband. I feel like it is all my fault :(. He told me this morning that he stay up all night and couldn`t sleep because he feels so bad and that he just keep praying to Allah swt to forgive him for his behaviour and help him to have the strength to stop. I know that we have to forgive others and that if someone tells you they make repentance that we have to accept that they have but I still don`t know what to do. I also know how important marriage is and how hard we have to work to keep it going that divorce is the most detested thing to Allah swt. Please help me to know what the right thing for a faithful Muslim wife to do in this situation is inshaAllah.

Thank you so much for your reply.

Wassalam.

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Answer:

Husband addicted to porn

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Respected sister, if you are convinced that the seeking of repentance of your husband unto his Lord and unto you is sincere, and he is sincerely trying to break away and abstain from his evil transgressions…..it would only be prudent that you bring yourself to overlook and forgive his evil habit, give him a chance to right his wrong conduct, and thus save your marriage.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 24 Surah Noor Verse 22:

22 …… let them (the believers) forgive and overlook: do you not wish that Allah should forgive you? For Allah is Oft-Forgiving Most Merciful.

If your husband is indeed sincere in seeking ‘taubah’ and has repented over his past evil deeds, it is expected that he will find his Lord Forgiving and Merciful.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54:

(O Prophet) say: “O My servants who have wronged their own souls….Do not despair of Allah’s Mercy! Surely, Allah forgives all sins. He indeed is the All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before the scourge overtakes you; for then you may get no help from anywhere.”

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 135-136:

Allah likes such good people very much, who, if ever they commit a base deed or wrong their own soul by the commission of a sin, remember Allah instantly, and ask for forgiveness from Him for their shortcomings. For who, but Allah, can forgive sins? (And Allah loves those) who do not knowingly persist in the wrongs they did. These will be rewarded with forgiveness from Allah, and with Gardens beneath which canals flow, and they will reside therein forever! How excellent is the reward of those who do good deeds!

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 54:

When those come to you who believe in Our Signs, say: "Peace be on you! Your Lord had inscribed for Himself (the rule of) Mercy. Verily if any of you did evil in ignorance, and thereafter repented and amended (his conduct), Lo! He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2357 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Mas'ud

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "He who repents of a sin is like him who has committed no sin."

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2338 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "Allah accepts a servant's repentance (taubah) till he gives up his spirit in death."

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan