Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

As-Salam-Alaikum,

Dear Brother Burhan,

Thanks for providing us answers to everyday questions of life using the Holy Quran and Authentic Hadith.

I have a sort of a long question. I don`t know whether it fits this category. I have been an ardent sinner all my life(May ALLAH forgive my sins). I indulged in a lot of vices which is forbidden in the Quran. I had illicit relationship with a lot of women. Lately, I met someone who i decided upon marrying. I read on this forums some of your answers, that don`t disclose your past sins because ALLAH forgives them and we should not disclose it. So i did not disclose it to the girl I intended on marrying.

Somehow she found out everything about my past, but my intent was not to be untrue to her but to start anew a life of goodness guided by Almighty Allah. She of course didn`t think very highly of me after knowing it all. And we are not together anymore. I pursued her and her folks but they rejected the proposal.

My parents are looking to get me married now to a nice pious girl. I feel weird about it all. I fear my past would come crashing down again and ruin things yet again. I seek sincere repentance and ask Allah to forgive my sins. What should I do? Tell the girl I would marry now, everything beforehand or hide it from her ? I`m extremely vexed these days. I`m glad it is Ramadan so I can seek sincere repentance for my deeds. Can you please offer me some advise based on Holy Quran or from Sunnah.

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Repentance

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Whatever deeds one might have done in one’s past, if one turns to Allah Subhanah in sincere ‘Taubah’ and seeks forgiveness, Allah Subhanah has promised in the Holy Quran that He will forgive ALL the sins of such a repentant believer, even if one has committed the gravest sin of all: ‘Shirk’! Not only that, our Lord is so Merciful and Generous, that He not only will forgive the sins of such sincerely repentant believers, He will change their evil deeds done into good deeds!

The conditions or ways to seek sincere Taubah or Repentance from the Merciful Lord are:

·                     One is aware that one has sinned, and feels sorry and ashamed at one’s sin.

·                     Makes a solemn covenant and promise with Allah that one will not repeat one’s sin again.

·                     Turns to Allah and seeks forgiveness, before one has met with one’s appointment of death.

·                     Is a believer and does righteous good deeds thereafter.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54:

(O Prophet) say: “O My servants who have wronged their own souls….Do not despair of Allah’s Mercy! Surely, Allah forgives all sins. He indeed is the All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before the scourge overtakes you; for then you may get no help from anywhere.”

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 135-136:

Allah likes such good people very much, who, if ever they commit a base deed or wrong their own soul by the commission of a sin, remember Allah instantly, and ask for forgiveness from Him for their shortcomings. For who, but Allah, can forgive sins? (And Allah loves those) who do not knowingly persist in the wrongs they did. These will be rewarded with forgiveness from Allah, and with Gardens beneath which canals flow, and they will reside therein forever! How excellent is the reward of those who do good deeds!

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 25 Surah Furqaan verses 63-71:

The (true) servants of the Merciful are those who walk humbly on the earth. When the ignorant people behave insolently towards them, they say, “Peace to you”; (And those) who pass their nights in prostrating themselves and standing before their Lord and pray, “O our Lord, save us from the torment of Hell, for its torment is killing! It is an evil abode, and an evil resting place”. (And those) who, when they spend are neither extravagant, nor miserly, but keep the golden mean between the two extremes. (And those) who do not invoke any god but Allah Alone, nor kill a soul unjustly, which Allah has forbidden, nor commit adultery… He who does this shall be punished for his sin, and his torment shall be doubled on the Day of Resurrection, and he shall abide in a state of ignominy; EXCEPT THE ONE WHO MAY HAVE REPENTED (AFTER THOSE SINS), AND HAVE BELIEVED AND DONE RIGHTEOUS DEEDS. For then, Allah will change his evil deeds into good deeds, and He is very Forgiving and Merciful. In fact, one who repents and does righteous deeds, returns to Allah as one rightly should!

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 54:

When those come to you who believe in Our Signs, say: "Peace be on you! Your Lord had inscribed for Himself (the rule of) Mercy. Verily if any of you did evil in ignorance, and thereafter repented and amended (his conduct), Lo! He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2357 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Mas'ud

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "He who repents of a sin is like him who has committed no sin."

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2338 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "Allah accepts a servant's repentance (taubah) till he gives up his spirit in death."

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2339 Narrated by Abu Sa'id

Allah's Messenger (saws) said that the Shaytaan said, "By Thy Might, my Lord, I shall continue to lead Thy servants astray as long as their spirits are in their bodies!" The Lord, Who is Great and Glorious, replied, "By My Might, Glory and Exalted Station, I shall continue to pardon them as long as they ask My forgiveness!"

Sahih Muslim Hadith 6499 Narrated by Abu Dharr Ghaffari

Allah's Messenger (saws) said that Allah, the Exalted and Glorious, stated: “He who comes with goodness, there are in store for him ten like those and even more than those; and he who comes with vice, it is only for that that which he is called to account. I even forgive him as I like, and he who draws close to Me by the span of a palm, I draw close to him by the cubit; and he who draws close to Me by the cubit, I draw close to him by the space (covered) by two hands; and he who walks towards Me, I rush towards him; and he who meets Me in the state that his sins fill the earth, but not associating anything with Me, I would meet Him with the same (vastness) of pardon (on My behalf)."

Thus my respected brother, never never never ever despair of the magnitude and the vastness of the Mercy of your Lord Most Gracious. Absolutely regardless of the quality and the quantity of the sins you might have committed in your past, it is never too late to turn unto your Lord Most Gracious in ‘taubah’ and seek sincere forgiveness….for your Lord Most Merciful can and does forgive all the sins of His repentant believers.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 4.676 Narrated by Abu Said Al Khudri

The Prophet (saws) said, "Amongst the men of Bani Israel there was a man who had murdered ninety-nine people. Then he set out asking (whether his repentance could be accepted or not). He came upon a monk and asked him if his repentance could be accepted. The monk replied in the negative and so the man killed him. He kept on asking till a man advised to migrate to such and such a place where the inhabitants of that place were righteous. (So he left for that place) but death overtook him on the way. The Angels of Mercy and the Angels of Punishment disputed amongst themselves regarding him (who amongst them would take possession of his soul). Allah ordered the Angels to measure the distance between the deceased’s body and the two places (ie. the place he left and the place he intended to migrate to). If the distance from the place where the person left was shorter than the place where the person intended to migrate to, the Angels of Punishment should take the soul; and if the distance was greater, the Angels of Mercy had possession of the soul. It was determined that the distance the person was migrating to was one span shorter than the place he had left; thus Allah Subhanah forgave him all his sins and Decreed that the Angels of Mercy took possession of the soul.”

Respected brother, the vastness of your Lord’s Mercy is such that He is willing to forgive the sins of a murderer who had committed a hundred murders….provided one turns back unto their Lord Most Gracious in ‘taubah’ and seeks sincere forgiveness for their sins!

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54:

(O Prophet) say: “O My servants who have wronged their own souls….Do not despair of Allah’s Mercy! Surely, Allah forgives all sins. He indeed is the All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before the scourge overtakes you; for then you may get no help from anywhere.”

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2357 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Mas'ud

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "He who repents of a sin is like him who has committed no sin."

Your Question: ….I seek sincere repentance and ask Allah to forgive my sins. What should I do? Tell the girl I would marry now, everything beforehand or hide it from her ? I`m extremely vexed these days. I`m glad it is Ramadan so I can seek sincere repentance for my deeds. Can you please offer me some advise based on Holy Quran or from Sunnah.

Respected brother, you are obligated to confess your sins unto none save your Lord Most Gracious, Most Merciful….for it is He and He Alone Who can and does completely obliterate all the sins of His sincere and repentant slaves.

It simply does not behove and befit a believer, who sincerely fears Allah and the Last Day, that when Allah Subhanah has covered and hidden the evil that has transpired in one’s past, to go around and expose it themselves!!!

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.95 Narrated by Abu Huraira

I heard Allah's Messenger (saws) saying, "All the sins of my followers will be forgiven except those of the ‘Mujahirin’ (those who commit a sin openly or disclose their sins to the people). An example of such disclosure is that a person commits a sin at night and though Allah screens it from the public, then he comes in the morning, and says, 'O so-and-so, I did such-and-such (evil) deed yesterday,' though he spent his night screened by his Lord (none knew of the sin except the one who committed it and Allah) and in the morning he removes Allah's screen from himself."

Respected brother, it would be prudent never ever to expose the evil one might have done in one’s past to anyone, especially after The Lord Most Gracious has concealed them Himself. It may happen that although the husband may confess the evil that transpired in his past to his wife with the best of intentions, she may be of a nature whereby she cannot bring herself to accept the truth, and that might effect not only his honor in her eyes, but it might even have a negative effect on her marital relationship with him!

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2492 Narrated by Hudhayfah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "It is not fitting for a believer to demean himself." On being asked how he could demean himself he (saws) replied, "By exposing himself to a calamity which he has not the capacity to endure."

It would be best and purest to confess the sins one might have committed in one’s past to none save Allah Subhanah; and never ever expose those deeds of the past which one is ashamed of to anyone in creation, especially after Allah Subhanah, in His Grace and Mercy, has concealed those deeds Himself.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan