Wife suspects husband having affair
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
(May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
As salamu alikum,
I have been married for 5 years now and have 2 kids. my
huband has been cheating on me most of the time. Whenever i find out i confront
him and he promises to change but he dosnt change at all. its been 2 years not
he has been with the same woman she is also muslim. whenever i tell him to stop
seeing her he says hes not doing anything with her. But i have seen with my own
eyes that he is cheating plus my friends have seen him with her outside aswell.
Now i am stuck and dont knwo what to do. i have said i
will leave him if i find out anything wrong, but he still dosnt get scared. He
never fears Allah. i have tried. i was wondring if i did Salat al-
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Answer:
Wife suspects
husband having affair
In the name of Allah,
We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah
guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide
them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah
Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the
seal of His Messengers.
Respected Sister, we assume and
‘base’ our answer on the premise that by the term ‘cheating’ you mean to imply
the extra-marital affair of the husband.
Islam Commands and Demands that
two believers who have committed themselves to the sacred bond of marriage,
fear Allah their Lord, stay well within the boundaries of their Lord, and never
say or do anything openly or secretly which would give rise to suspicions of
infidelity….for this suspicion of infidelity in marriage is a lethal weapon
very effectively used and abused by the evil and accursed enemy of man, the
Shaytaan, to sow discord, distrust, and disharmony between the husband and wife
in marriage.
Allah Says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 49 Surah Hujuraat verse 12:
12 O ye who believe! Avoid suspicion as much (as possible): for
suspicion in some cases is a sin: and spy not on each other nor speak
ill of each other behind their backs.
Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay! Ye would abhor it...but fear Allah: for
Allah is Oft-Returning Most Merciful.
Islamic Law acts on convictions,
evidence, and proofs, not suspicions!
Shariah Law neither acts nor depends on mere suspicions, nor can one
drag another to a court of Shariah Law based on mere suspicions….but if one is
absolutely convinced regarding the crime of another and can bring forth
evidence or witnesses to prove their accusation, only then can their
accusations be admissible in a Shariah Court, or any court of law for that
matter!
Your Statement: …Or maybe there is a surah i can read to
make him stop cheating on me.
Respected sister, if there was a
Surah which one could recite which would make their loved one’s fear Allah, the
Messenger of Allah (saws) would have read the Surah for his beloved but
disbelieving uncle Abu-Talib!!!
We absolutely assure you that
the mere reciting of any Surah will not and cannot by itself make your husband
fear Allah and/or become a better believer!
Your Question: ….i was wondring if i did Salat al-
To the best of our knowledge
there is absolutely nothing in the established and authentic Sunnah of the
Messenger of Allah (saws) called the ‘salaat-ul-haajah’; and when the Messenger
of Allah (saws) has not given or assigned a particular name for a prayer, it
does not behove and befit one who sincerely believes in Allah and the Last Day
to give or assign a name to it from themselves!
When one has a ‘hajaah’ or need,
one may simply raise one’s hands or bow down to their Lord in prostration and
in absolute awe, humility, fear, and hope implore and beseech their Lord Most
Gracious to fulfill their need; for He Alone suffices as a Disposer of all
affairs. If one wishes to offer a prayer
or do a good deed before making one’s supplication, there is absolute no harm
in doing so…but one should not give or assign a name to that prayer or deed
when no name is assigned to it by the Messenger of Allah (saws)!
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 186:
And if My servants ask
you, O Prophet, concerning Me, tell them that I am quite near to them. I hear and answer the prayer of the
suppliant, when he calls on Me. So let them respond to My call and believe in
Me. (Convey this to them), perhaps they may be guided aright!
It is the established Sunnah and
tradition of the Messenger of Allah (saws) that whenever he (saws) had to make
a choice between two (or more) lawful alternatives, he would perform a
two-rakah prayer of ‘Istakhara’ and make earnest supplications to his
All-Knowing, All-Wise Lord to guide him to what was best.
Hadrat Jabir (r.a.)
reports that ‘the Prophet (saws) would teach us al-Istikharah for all of our
affairs as he would teach us a Surah of the Qu'ran. He (saws) said 'if one of
you is deliberating over an act, he should pray two rak'ahs and recite the
supplication of Istakhara.’’
Related by
Al-Bukhari.
The ‘salaah’ and supplication of
Istakhara is indeed from the established Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah
(saws), and one should exercise this Sunnah when one is deliberating between
two lawful options seeking the Guidance and Help from their Lord Most
Gracious. To perform the ‘Istakhara’
prayer only to determine whether or not one’s spouse is cheating upon them would
be absolutely inappropriate to say the least!
Respected sister, the one and only thing which will help you and
your husband both is the fear of standing in the Court of Allah Subhanah….and
the one thing that instills the fear in the hearts of the believers is to get
as close to the understanding and the implementation of the Guidance of the
Glorious Quran in their lives.
Whatever written of
Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever
of error is of me alone. Allah Alone
Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and
well wisher in Islam,
Burhan
Wister