Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Assalamu Alaikum,

I was in love with my mother’s cousin and wanted to marry him. I was afraid of my parents not giving their consent, so took help from close relatives to convince my parents. But my parents did not agree to this proposal mentioning they will not allow any love marriage and want to marry me off to a rich family and not to somebody within the close family.

After this I tried to stay away from him but could not do so for long time. Meanwhile, afraid of my parents, I promised them that I will not go fall in love with this guy again and my parents started looking for another proposals to get me married. However, I was in deep tension and this started affecting my health as I liked this man a lot but my parents were never ready for it.

After one year, me and my lover registered our marriage in the civil court without my parents’ consent as I was mentally not able to stay away from him. We told our parents and rest of the family about our marriage within 1 hour as we knew this marriage is not valid without Nikah in Islam. Even then my father was not ready to do the Nikah as it was against his honour. My parents tried to convince me again to come back but I made clear that I want to get married to this man.

My parents left the country so as to not perform the Nikah. I was stranded and at last my uncle (mother’s brother) had to perform the Nikah. For doing that, the Imam asked to provide a written letter regarding the reasons for my father’s absence and his telephone approval. When my uncle contacted my father, he was angry and declined to give the approval for Nikah. Fearing for my future, my uncle lied to the Imam that my father has given the approval.

It has been 3 and half years that my Nikah is over. I am always praying to Allah and still trying to convince my parents to accept me and my husband. We still do not have children and my parents say that this is because my marriage is not halal, and its haram.

Please advise whether my marriage is halal and what can be done to put everything in place according to Islam.

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Marry without parents consent

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

There are four absolutely obligatory conditions for a marriage or ‘nikaah’ to be deemed lawful in the Sight of Shariah and of Allah Subhanah:

1. Proposal by one party and acceptance by the other.
2. The determination of ‘mehr’ for the bride.
3. The availability of at least two witnesses to the marriage contract.
4. The consent of the parents/guardians (wali) of the bride.

If even one of the above four obligatory conditions of a ‘nikaah’ are not honored, the marriage will not be deemed lawful, null and void in the Sight of Shariah Law and of Allah Subhanah.

Your Question: ….Please advise whether my marriage is halal and what can be done to put everything in place according to Islam.

Respected sister, to elope with your suitor and marry your choice without the consent of your father is obviously wrong, to say the least….and the absolute first thing you should do is seek sincere forgiveness for your actions from your Lord Most Gracious and from your parents; it is expected that you will find your Lord Forgiving and Merciful.

If the above four listed conditions of a Shariah marriage were met, rest assured that your ‘nikaah’, as inappropriate as it may have been, is still legally valid in the Sight of Shariah Law.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan