Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Dear brother assalamu alaikum

Now a days we are busy giving education to our kid to make them doctors & engineers & because of  heavy education load they dont have time for Islamic studies & practices , are we as parents are not accountable for giving them worldly life. Where as in Quran is clearly mentiond that Allah created Human being just for his ibaadat.

I am father of two daughters & i m thinking to give them only islamic education i want them to be Hafiz & scholars of islam , but one thing worries me that in todays age if they are not highly educated then ther will be problem in nere future for good proposals as now a days families are looking for educated girls . i want to know that are marriages ( couples)  are decided at the time of childs birth . if so i dont need to worry. I know that everything is decided by Allah , But still your answer will make my decission more strong to give thaem only & only islamic knowledge. I want my kids to be good muslim rather than good doctors aor engineers. Pls reply at the earliest.

My question is  that my intention is to make my kids a very good muslim & i am trying my level best to give them islamic education & avoiding worldly education as now a days it is all misleading & taking person away from Aakhiraa. my qustion is after all my good intention if my kids are misleaded some where am i still accountable for their sins & worldly attractions.

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Answer:

Giving children Islamic education

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 218 Narrated by Anas ibn Malik

Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘The seeking of ‘ilm’ (knowledge) is obligatory for every Muslim.’

The Arabic word and term ‘ilm’ implies both, religious as well as worldly knowledge, and the seeking of both are obligatory upon the believers.

Obligatory deeds in Islamic Jurisprudence are divided into two categories:

1. ‘Fard-Ayn’ or absolutely obligatory on each and every individual.
2. ‘Fard-Kifaayah’ or partially obligatory.

For example, the offering of the five obligatory prayers, fulfilling one’s duty to one’s parents, the fasting of Ramadan, the offering of Friday Jumuah or mid-day prayers for the men, etc. are what is known as ‘fard-ayn’….these deeds are absolutely obligatory on each and every muslim, and they must do so themselves.

The offering of funeral prayers, ‘jihaad’ in the Cause of Allah, etc. are also ‘fard’ or obligatory…but they are what is known in Islamic Jurisprudence as ‘Fard-Kifaayah’…..if some believers fulfill this obligation, it would suffice for the whole believing Ummah; but if none of the believers fulfill this obligation, the whole believing Ummah will share in the sin.

The scholars and jurists in Islam are absolutely unanimous in their opinion that the seeking of basic Islamic Knowledge is ‘fard-ayn’ and absolutely obligatory on each and every believer; and the seeking of worldly knowledge and sciences is ‘fard-kifaayah’….it is not obligatory on every believer to seek worldly knowledge, if some amongst the believers seek this knowledge, it would suffice for the believing Ummah.

Your Question: ….I want my kids to be good muslim rather than good doctors aor engineers.

Respected brother in Islam, one need not forgo worldly knowledge to be a good muslim…..it is definitely possible for one to be highly educated in this world and also be a very good muslim!

Your Question: ….i want to know that are marriages ( couples)  are decided at the time of childs birth.

Respected brother, what we recognize as ‘destiny’ or ‘fate’ is no more than the Perfect and Absolute Knowledge of Allah Subhanah which He has recorded with Him before anything came into existence. He Alone has the Perfect and Absolute Knowledge of the past, present and the future; and that Perfect and Absolute Knowledge of His is what is called ‘destiny’ or ‘fate’ or ‘Qadr’.

Thus, in a sense marriage is indeed destiny, for Allah Subhanah, in His Absolute and Perfect Knowledge, Knows which of his slave will marry whom in which particular age.

Because Allah’s Knowledge is Absolutely Perfect, He ‘Knows’ who will pair with whom in which time, age, and place, etc.; but it would not be an accurate statement to say that Allah Subhanah forces or compels one to marry a particular person; for whom one chooses to marry is an act or deed one chooser for themselves, and thus one will be accountable for the choice one makes.

The Majestic Creator has bestowed two things upon man (and Jinns) which He has not bestowed upon any amongst His creation; and thus involved him in a test:

1. Intelligence or the Power of Reasoning
2. A ‘free will’ to choose whatever path he wishes to follow in life

Whoever, with the bestowed intelligence recognizes his Lord and Creator, and of his own free will chooses to follow the path approved by Him will be shown Allah’s Mercy and Grace. And Whoever denies his Lord and Creator, and of his own free will chooses to follow any other path than the approved path of the Lord, he will deserve the Wrath and Anger of the All-Mighty Lord.

Because the All-Knowing, All-Wise Lord has involved man in a test for a short period of one life, He has allowed man for this limited period, to choose his path and do deeds as one pleases. It is indeed true that Allah Subhanah knows exactly what each individual will do at every stage of his life, but that is because He has Perfect and Absolute Knowledge of everything of the past, present and future.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 6.474 Narrated by Ali ibn Abi Taalib

While the Prophet (saws) was in a funeral procession, he (saws) picked up something and started scraping the ground with it, and said, "There is none among you but has his place written for him either in the Hell Fire or in Paradise." They said, "O Allah's Messenger (saws)! Shall we not depend upon what has been written for us and give up deeds?" He (saws) said, "Carry on doing (good) deeds, for everybody will find easy to do such deeds as will lead him to his destined place for which he has been created. So he who is destined to be among the happy (in the Hereafter), will find it easy to do the deeds characteristic of such people, while he who is destined to be among the miserable ones, will find it easy to do the deeds characteristic of such people."

To fulfill the requirements of the ‘test’, man is permitted to use his intelligence and do deeds as he sees best for himself; and for this test of one transitory life, there is absolutely no compulsion upon him. The ‘fate’ or ‘predetermined will’ is no more than the Perfect and Absolute Knowledge of Allah Subhanah, whereby He Knows Perfectly well what each individual will do at every stage of his life. If man was compelled to do deeds according to ‘fate’ or the ‘pre-determined will’, then it would not constitute a fair ‘test’, for man could then not be held accountable for his deeds!

When one is seeking a suitable partner in marriage, the guidance given by Islam is that one should use his intelligence and power of reasoning, and seek to marry a partner best suitable to him/her for the life of this world and the Hereafter.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.27 Narrated by Abu Huraira

The Prophet (saws) said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman, (otherwise) you will be a loser."

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3090 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, 'When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so, there will be temptation on Earth and extensive corruption.'

Thus, although Allah Subhanah Knows exactly who will marry whom in His Perfect and Absolute Knowledge of everything in existence; man is under no compulsion. He has to use his intelligence and power of reasoning and choose the partner that is most suitable for him for his life in this world and the Hereafter. Had the choice of partners been pre-determined like one’s parents, relatives, place of birth, place of death, etc., the Messenger of Allah (saws) would not have guided the believers to overlook the transient and short-lived aspects of wealth, and beauty, and lineage when seeking a partner in marriage; and choose a righteous religious woman if he indeed wanted to be successful in his marriage!

Whenever something is pre-determined, like one’s looks, one’s parents and relatives, one’s place and time of birth or death, etc.; one has absolutely no choice in these matters, and thus neither has Allah and His Messenger (saws) given any guidance regarding the choices one should take to obtain maximum height, color, or looks, or to be born in a particular age, or household, or time, etc. Where one has no choice, one is neither guided towards a choice, nor is one held accountable for it.

But whenever one has been given an option or choice….what to believe in, whom to obey, what to eat, what is lawful, what is unlawful, whom to marry, etc….then not only has Allah and His Messenger (saws) given guidance on every aspect of that particular matter, but one will be held responsible for the choice one makes in the Court of Allah Subhanah.

Thus in effect, whom one chooses to marry is not from pre-determined fate or destiny, nor are ‘marriages-made-in-heaven’, nor is anyone compelled by Allah to marry…….this is a decision and choice each person makes for himself, and because it is a choice and an option, Allah and His Messenger (saws) have guided the believers on every aspect of marriage.

Your Question: ……my qustion is after all my good intention if my kids are misleaded some where am i still accountable for their sins & worldly attractions.

If the parents have done the necessary striving in guiding their off-spring to the Truth of Islam, strove to instill the fear of Allah and the Last Day into them, etc….and if after reaching adulthood, their off-spring are misled by the trials of the world and choose not to fear Allah….the parents will be absolutely blameless for the choice made by their off-spring.

But if the believing parents neglect their duty towards their off-spring and do not do the necessary striving to guide their children towards the Truth of Islam and instill the fear of Allah and the Last Day into them….indeed they would be held responsible and severely accountable for their negligence in the Presence of their Lord on that Inevitable Day of Judgment.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan