Children consume alcohol.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
(May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
Dear Mr Burhan,
A friend who is a practicing Muslim was grieved when he found out recently that
his two grown up sons consume alcoholic beverages and that too for many years
but not in his presence or in their house. One was in business with him,
the other lived with him in the same house. My friend's reaction was to
'disown' them, turn the son out of his business and the other out of his house
with grandchildren. The sons felt they are adults and responsible for
their own actions. Parents should not take the onus upon themselves or
feel guilty about it.
While my friend feels good that he has cleansed the ill, his wife is upset at
the separation and the harsh stance taken by the husband, though she accepts he
has done the right thing according to their shared belief.
Secondary questions that arise:
1. Are the parents responsible for breach of
Shariah by adult children, in the eyes of Allah?
2. Would the parents be guilty by way of association if they allowed
status quo even if they would tell them that it is wrong and they should stay
away from alcohol?
3. The mother feels she would persuade them to give
up and instead of taking drastic action they could have made an effort to
educate them of this gross error and sin they picked up knowing full well the
parents abhor it.
In the light of the above, could you please guide how the parets can remain
firm about the wrong but work on them rather than chase them away - from
sight. Your reply will be greatly
appreciated.
(There may be some grammatical and spelling
errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from
questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in
confidentiality.)
Answer:
Children consume
alcohol
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His
help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide,
and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear
witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear
witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His
Messengers.
Q-1: Are
the parents responsible for breach of Shariah by adult children, in the eyes of
Allah?
Allah Says
in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 164 (part):
….Every soul draws
the meed of its acts on none but itself:
If the believing parents of the children themselves feared
Allah, strove their utmost in instilling the fear of Allah and the Last Day
into their children during their growing years, strove to give them the best
possible education and environment and ‘tarbeeyah’ during their growing years and
thus fulfilled their duty unto them…….then if such children of believing
parents chose to transgress the prescribed Boundaries of their Lord Creator
after they have passed the age of puberty, the off-spring themselves shall bear
the responsibility for their evil deeds and their parents will be absolutely
blameless for the evil deeds committed by their off-spring.
But if the parents themselves did not fear Allah, nor
strove to fulfill their duty unto their children by instilling the fear of
Allah and the Last Day into them in their growing years, or Allah forbid,
encouraged them towards the transgression of the prescribed Boundaries of the
Lord Creator…..indeed the parents will bear a portion of the blame of the evil
deeds committed by their children.
Q-2: Would the parents be guilty
by way of association if they allowed status quo even if they would tell them
that it is wrong and they should stay away from alcohol?
If the believing parents have
fulfilled their duty unto their children during their growing years to the best
of their ability, and subsequently find out that their adult off-spring are
involved in as manifest a transgression as the consumption of alcohol…..it
would simply not be fitting for the believing parents, if indeed they fear
Allah and the Last Day, and fear the consequence of what will inevitably befall
their beloved offspring in the Presence of their Lord to maintain a
‘status-quo’ or disregard or ‘turn a blind-eye’ to the abominations committed
by their adult off-spring without showing their utter disapproval at their
manifest transgressions!
Q-3: The mother feels she would persuade them to give up
and instead of taking drastic action they could have made an effort to educate
them of this gross error and sin they picked up knowing full well the parents
abhor it.
If the believing parents of
such off-spring who have chosen to transgress the prescribed Boundaries of
Allah Subhanah have even an iota of control over them….they should indeed try
to persuade or even plead with them to fear Allah and the Last Day and save
themselves from the Wrath and Anger of their Lord. If after their very best efforts, their
persuasion or their pleading does not bring about the desired results, and they
are in a position to be strict with them, or threaten them, or even punish them….and
they believe that such actions would have the desired effect on the evil
behavior or habits of their adult children, they should not hesitate to utilize
whatever is their ability in their efforts to bring their children back to the
Straight Path.
What is not permissible in Islam that one disown or
completely break the blood relations which the Lord Himself has created for
them……
Allah Says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 13 Surah Ar-Raad verse 25:
As for those who break
their covenant with Allah after confirming it, who cut asunder
relationships which Allah has bidden to be joined, and spread chaos on
the earth, their’s shall be the curse,
and they shall have a wretched abode in the Hereafter.
Allah Says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 2 Surah Bakarah verse 27:
And He leads astray
only those who disobey Allah, who break
Allah’s covenant after ratifying it, who cut asunder relationships what
Allah has ordered to be joined, and who produce chaos on the
Earth. These are indeed the people who
are the losers.
Sahih Al-Bukhari
Hadith 8.17 Narrated by Abu Huraira
The Prophet (saws)
said, "The word 'Ar-Rahm (womb) derives its name from Ar-Rahman (i.e., one
of the Names of Allah) and Allah said: 'I will keep good relation with
the one who will keep good relation with you (the womb, i.e. kith and kin), and
sever the relation with him who will sever the relation with you (the womb,
i.e. kith and kin).
Other than severing or completely breaking relations with
them, the parents are well within their rights to do whatever it takes to show
their utter and abject disapproval at the manifest transgressions of their
adult children….and strive with whatever is in their power to remind their
children to fear their Lord and His Inevitable and Tumultuous Accounting of
that Last Day.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only
due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me
alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is
the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and
well wisher in Islam,
Burhan