Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

a friend of mine has asked me to marry him. i did istikhara for two days yet im not sure if he is the right person. we intend to get married in a few years

time. how will i know if he is the one for me.

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Result of Istakhara

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His  forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Translation of du'a or supplication of Istakhara:

O Allah! I seek Your guidance (in making a choice) by virtue of Your
Knowledge, and I seek ability by virtue of Your Power, and I ask You of Your
great bounty. You have Power, I have none. And You Know, I know not. You are
the Knower of hidden things.

O Allah! If in Your knowledge, (this matter) is good for my religion, my
livelihood and my affairs; immediate and in the distant, then ordain for me,
make it easy for me and bless it for me. And if in Your knowledge, (this
matter) is bad for my religion, my livelihood and my affairs; immediate and
in the distant, then turn it away from me, and turn me away from it. And
ordain for me the good wherever it be and make me pleased with it.

An istakhara is done when a believer has an option between a couple of good and legal options, and he consults with the All Knowing Merciful Lord to guide him/her to the path which is better for the person concerned in this world and in the hereafter.

It is not necessary that one gets a definitive or tangible answer or a dream every time one does Istakhara. When one does Istakhara, he basically asks Allah Subhanah to make easy for him the option that is best for him in the world and in the Hereafter, and stop the happening of the options which are detrimental to him in the future.

If the choice made is right, Allah Subhanah will make the option easily available and clear all the difficulties in the path of obtaining that good option; and as one sees the ease with which the option is carried out, he/she will realize that this is indeed the right choice and the result of the istakhara was in the affirmative.

But if the choice is wrong and detrimental in the future, Allah Subhanah will make the happening of the option difficult and one will experience blockages and difficulties in the way of achieving that option; and at some stage, when after trying everything in one’s power the option is still not coming to a conclusion, one will realize that this was not the right choice and the result of the istakhara was negative.

The guidance of the Messenger of Allah (saws) while choosing a groom is very simple and comprehensive:

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3090 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said, 'When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so, there will be temptation on earth, and extensive corruption.'

If one just looks at the outwardly wealth, lineage, looks, beauty, etc. alone while choosing a groom, one may or may not get the option right; but if one abides by the guidance of the Messenger of Allah (saws) and satisfies himself/herself with the prospective partner’s deen and his character, he/she will never ever go wrong. For ones wealth and looks and beauty and status may go away with the span of time, but one who is steadfast on the Right Path of Allah Subhanah will never ever compromise in giving due rights and honor to his fellow human beings and will thus live with harmony with his wife in this world, and will work with her throughout to achieve the higher and eternal goal of the Hereafter.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your Brother in Islam,

Burhan