When to pay mehr.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
(May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
Salaams,
Recently
I came to know about this beautiful and helpful site. I want to
ask a question about "Maher". Just a few days back one of
my friend told me something which I'm not sure if it's right or wrong.
According to him if a man doesn't pay the maher to his wife before having kids,
then the kids are considered as legitimate. He said that a husband should pay
it on the very first day of his wedding. I'm married and have two kids
and I haven't paid maher to my wife so far. After knowing this I'm
very disturbed. I just want to know whatever he said if it is correct then what
am I supposed to do now. Another thing I want to confirm is that when we do
wadu for namaz , are we supposed to do "Istinja" as well at the
same time , is it a part of wadu or just regular wadu ,without istinja is
enough (even if one's istinja is not valid). Please reply my mail as soon as
possible as I'm really confused.. Masalam and Thankyou .
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errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from
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Answer:
When to pay mehr
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His
help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide,
and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear
witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear
witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His
Messengers.
Your
Question: Just a few days back one of my friend told me something which I'm not
sure if it's right or wrong. According to him if a man doesn't pay the maher to
his wife before having kids, then the kids are considered as legitimate. He
said that a husband should pay it on the very first day of his wedding.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah
Nisaa verse 4:
4 And give the women
(on marriage) their dower (mehr) as a free gift; but if they of their own good pleasure remit any part of it to you
take it and enjoy it with right good cheer.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah
Nisaa verse 24:
24 Also (prohibited are) women already married except those whom your
right hands possess. Thus hath Allah
ordained (prohibitions) against you: except for these all others are lawful provided ye seek (them in marriage) with
gifts (mehr) from your property desiring chastity not lust. Seeing that ye derive benefit from them give
them their dowers (at least) as prescribed; but if after a dower is prescribed
ye agree mutually (to vary it) there is no blame on you and Allah is
All-Knowing All-Wise.
To determine the amount of ‘mehr’ is one of the absolutely
obligatory conditions of a ‘nikaah’ to be considered valid and legal in Shariah
Law, and it would obviously be best, and akin to piety and righteousness, that
one fulfill the determined ‘mehr’ unto their bride at the time of ‘nikaah’
itself.
The bride is the sole and inherent owner of the ‘mehr’ and
she is well within her rights in Islam to do whatever she wills and pleases
with her ‘mehr’. The bride is well within her rights in Islam to agree to
accept the promised ‘mehr’ at a later date, or agree to accept the ‘mehr’ in
installments over a period of time, or even to forgive a part or all of it,
etc….
As long as the amount of the ‘mehr’ was determined and
accepted by the bride at the time of the ‘nikaah’, the marriage itself will be
considered absolutely lawful, legal, and valid in the Sight of Shariah Law and
in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.
Your
Question: …..According to him if a man doesn't pay the maher to his wife before
having kids, then the kids are considered as legitimate.
If the amount of the ‘mehr’ was determined and accepted by
the bride at the time of the ‘nikaah’, absolutely regardless of whether the
‘mehr’ was actually paid or not, rest absolutely assured that the marriage
itself would be considered lawful and legal in the Sight of Shariah Law and of
Allah Subhanah…..and if the Lord blesses the couple with children in their
marriage, rest assured that those children will be absolutely legitimate in the
Sight of Shariah Law and of Allah Subhanah.
Your friend who made this claim that the children
resulting from a marriage where the ‘mehr’ is not fully paid should be asked to
present his evidence for his declaration from the Quran and/or the Sunnah!!!!
Your
Question: I'm married and have two kids and I haven't paid maher to my
wife so far. After knowing this I'm very disturbed. I just want to
know whatever he said if it is correct then what am I supposed to do now.
Respected brother, we reiterate again, that as long as the
‘mehr’ was determined and accepted by your wife at the time of the ‘nikaah’, the marriage and children
resulting from that marriage would be absolutely lawful in the Sight of Shariah
Law and in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.
Your
Question: …..what am I supposed to do now.
Respected brother in Islam, the ‘mehr’ will remain a debt
unto your wife until you pay the determined amount to her in full, or she, of
her own free will, chooses to forgive a part or all of it.
It would only be piety and righteousness on your part in
the Sight of the Lord that you strive your absolute utmost to fulfill the
promised ‘mehr’ unto your wife….for if, Allah forbid, were you to die without
paying the promised ‘mehr’ unto your wife, you would have to fulfill this
unpaid debt of yours to your wife on the Day of Judgment in the currency of the
Hereafter; ie. deeds!
Sahih Muslim Hadith 6251 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘Do you know
who is the abjectly poor?’ They (the Companions (r.a.)) replied: ‘An abjectly
poor person amongst us is one who has neither dirham with him nor wealth.’ He (the Prophet (saws)) said: ‘The abjectly
poor of my Ummah would be he who would come on the Day of Resurrection with
prayers and fasts and Zakat but (he would find himself bankrupt on that day as
he would have exhausted his funds of virtues) since he hurled abuses upon
others, brought calumny against others, unlawfully
consumed the wealth of others, shed the blood of others, beat others,
etc. The virtues of such a person would be credited to the account of one (who
suffered at his hand). And if his good deeds fall short to clear the account,
then their sins would be entered in (his account) and he would be thrown in the
Hell-Fire?’
Your Question: Another
thing I want to confirm is that when we do wadu for namaz , are we
supposed to do "Istinja" as well at the same time , is it a part of
wadu or just regular wadu ,without istinja is enough (even if one's
istinja is not valid).
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah
Maidah verse 6 (part):
6 O ye who believe! When ye prepare for prayer wash your faces and
your hands (and arms) to the elbows; rub your heads (with water); and (wash)
your feet to the ankles.
Sahih Muslim Hadith 502 Narrated by Aisha
The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: ‘Ten are
the acts according to fitrah (nature): clipping the moustache, letting the
beard grow, using the tooth-stick, snuffing up water in the nose, cutting the
nails, washing the finger joints, plucking the hair under the armpits, shaving
the pubes, and cleaning one's private
parts (after easing or urinating) with water.’ The narrator said: ‘I
have forgotten the tenth, but it may have been rinsing the mouth.’
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.81 Narrated by Ibn Abbas
Once the Prophet (saws) went through the
graveyards of
One is not required to be in the state of ‘wudu’ at all
times, for ‘wudu’ is an obligatory requirement only when one intends to offer
one’s prayer or while in the state of ‘tawaaf’ of the Sacred House….but to
cleanse oneself after answering the call to nature or ‘istinja’ is one amongst
the ‘fitrah’ or natural acts, and a believer is required to cleanse oneself
every time one answers the call of nature.
One is obliged and required to perform the ‘istinja’ every
time one answers the call of nature, but if one’s state of ‘istinja’ is valid,
and one does not need to answer the call of nature before doing one’s ‘wudu’ for
prayer, there is absolutely no obligation on the believers to do an ‘istinja’
every time one performs the ‘wudu’ for prayer.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only
due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me
alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is
the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and
well wisher in Islam,
Burhan
Wister