Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

a-salem alekum

dear brother or sister in islam

thank you very much for this opportunity and may the blessings of Allah always be with all of you that helps us find anwers to our questions.

my father passed away last month , but he died in an other country, and all of us my brothers and sister we could not attend to his funeral, because he died 2o`clock in the morning and where he was they buried him 4-5 pm in the afternoon that same day.

he wasn`t a muslim his wife (my stephmother neither was a muslim, they where never intrested in my religioun, at the other hand htey critized me being a muslim.

since my father passed away in an other country, i was thinking that when i had a chance i would go and see where he was buried and visit his grave, but talking to my husband who is arab and muslim, he told me that to his knowledge that we as muslims are not allowed to visit the graves of a mushrik (a non believer), please advise me

my other question is, for how many days does the soul of a dead persons remain between his/her family, since i have been experiencing the present of my father every time that i mis him and when i do think of him in the grave. please could you tell me what to do to surpass these moments 

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Answer:

Visit parents grave

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question: ….since my father passed away in an other country, i was thinking that when i had a chance i would go and see where he was buried and visit his grave, but talking to my husband who is arab and muslim, he told me that to his knowledge that we as muslims are not allowed to visit the graves of a mushrik (a non believer), please advise me

Respected sister in Islam, there is absolutely no harm and no prohibition in Shariah if one wishes to occasionally visit the grave of their deceased parents or loved ones, regardless of whether they happened to be believers or disbelievers.

Abu Hurairah reported: "The Prophet (saws) visited his mother's grave and wept, and everyone there wept with him (saws). Then the Prophet (saws) said: 'I sought my Lord's permission to seek forgiveness for her, but He did not permit me. I then sought permission to visit her grave and He permitted me to visit her grave.’

Related by Muslim, Ahmad, and Abu Dawud.

In light of the above quoted narration, the Messenger of Allah (saws) himself visited the grave of his mother who died in the state of disbelief.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 9 Surah Taubah verse 113:

113 It is not fitting for the Prophet and those who believe that they should pray for forgiveness for pagans, even though they be of kin, after it is clear to them that they are companions of the Fire.

If one’s parents or loved ones are alive and happen to disbelieve, one can and should supplicate for them unto their Lord Merciful, earnestly beseech and implore their Lord Most Gracious to have mercy on them, forgive them their sins, and guide them to the truth of Islam…..but what is categorically forbidden and prohibited is that a believer seeks the forgiveness of their deceased loved ones who met with their appointment of death in the state of disbelief.

In light of the guidance of the Quran and the Sunnah, you are at liberty to occasionally visit the grave of your deceased father, regardless of whether he died a believer or disbeliever…..but if you are absolutely certain that your father died in the state of disbelief, it would not be lawful or permissible for you as a believer to seek or supplicate for his forgiveness.

Your Question: ….my other question is, for how many days does the soul of a dead persons remain between his/her family,

What exactly happens and transpires to the soul of a deceased human being is obviously amongst the knowledge of the ‘unseen’, and the exact and precise knowledge of everything of the ‘unseen’ is with none except Allah Subhanah, the Lord of the Worlds. And for every matter of the ‘unseen’ the believers who sincerely believe in Allah and the Last Day must turn only to what the Lord has Willed to make known about it in His Glorious Quran, or what He has Willed to make known to Prophet Mohamed (saws), who in turn made it known to the believers.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 8 Surah Anfaal verses 50-51:

50 If thou couldst see when the Angels take the souls of the unbelievers (at death) (how) they smite their faces and their backs (saying): "Taste the penalty of the blazing fire

51 Because of (the deeds) which your (own) hands sent forth: for Allah is never unjust to His servants.”

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 47 Surah Muhammad verses 27-28

27 But how (will it be) when the Angels take their souls at death and smite their faces and their backs?

28 This because they followed that which called forth the Wrath of Allah and they hated Allah's good pleasure; so He made their deeds of no effect.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 23 Surah Muminoon verses 99-101:

99 (In falsehood will the disbelievers be,) until when death comes to one of them he says: "O my Lord! Send me back (to life)

100 In order that I may work righteousness in the things I neglected." By no means! It is but a word he says! Before them is ‘Barzakh’ (partition or barrier) till the Day they are raised up.

101 Then when the Trumpet is blown there will be no more relationships between them that day, nor will one ask after another!

In light of the Quran and the established teachings of the Messenger of Allah (saws), when a person dies, his soul is returned back unto their Creator, and stored in a place called ‘Al-Barzakh’ until the Last Day when the Lord Most Majestic will give them life again. There can be absolutely no contact from the souls who have reached the ‘barzakh’ to the ones who are alive in this world, and vice versa!

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verses 61-62:

61 He (Allah) is the Irresistible (watching) from above over His worshippers and He sets guardians (Angels) over you. At length when death approaches one of you, Our Angels take his soul and they never fail in their duty.

62 Then they (the souls) are returned unto Allah their Protector, The (Only) Reality: is not His the Command? And He is the swiftest in taking account.

At death, every soul is returned unto Allah Subhanah, and deposited in the ‘barzakh’, and once the souls have reached their destination in the ‘barzakh’, there is absolutely no way for them to leave that state, or harm or benefit anyone from there in the least, or contact any human or jinn who is alive, or get contacted by any human or jinn alive! It is in the state of ‘barzakh’ where the souls of the righteous are kept in honor and bliss; and the souls of the evil-doers are tortured until the Day of Resurrection. All souls of the deceased without exception will remain in that state and place of ‘barzakh’ until the Lord Most Supreme will give them life again on the Day of Resurrection.

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan