Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Dear Brother,

Im writing to you . As i would want you to guide me the right way and help me to take the right decision of my life.I would want you to give me the right advice so that i may follow it to achieve peace and harmony in my married life.

Actually im an unmarried girl but unfortunately there has occured an incident in my life in my past

The thing is that i was Engaged in the sense i was been worn a ring and I had made the guy wear the ring we were suppose to be married later on .BUt due to circumstances this engagement has broken and i didnt get married to the person who had happened to be my fiance.this relationship is over past 8-9 months .ANd that the guy is already married to someone else.

What i want to ask you is that ,now my family is lookin for grooms for me .So since i hav had this past i wanted to know should i or my family need to inform the would be groom if they like me Rather than the guy getting to knw about my past from a third person..Since i belong to a conservative society were they dont consider divorces and broken engagements as good.please advice me as to what i should do since i want to avoid problems in my future married life .I dont want to be blamed that me or my family had lied abt my past to the would be groom or his family.I hope you have understood my problem and will give me the right advice as to what i should do.

Awaiting for your earliest reply

Thanking you alot .

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Inform groom of past engagement

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question: ….So since i hav had this past i wanted to know should i or my family need to inform the would be groom if they like me Rather than the guy getting to knw about my past from a third person..

Although an engagement to marry has absolutely no legal basis or bearing in Shariah, it might be that in some cultures or societies a broken engagement might be looked upon as a huge deal, and one is expected to disclose this incident to their expectant suitor and/or their families. Then there are other cultures and societies where broken marriages or engagements are not considered a big deal and easily accepted.

If one believes that not disclosing this information might harm one’s marital relations if the suitor finds out this information at a later date or from a third party, there is absolutely no harm and no prohibition in Shariah in laying the facts of the incident bare unto the suitor and their family, before one agrees upon marriage. But if one believes that this information is irrelevant and should not be a concern of the suitor or their families, there is absolutely no harm and no obligation in Shariah if one chooses not to disclose this incident of their past.

But in the situation where one is specifically asked or confronted by the suitor or their family regarding its occurrence, it would only be piety and righteousness on your part to disclose the facts of the situation to them in full.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan