Contact with ex divorced wife.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
(May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
My dear brother
My husband have been divorced from his non muslim ex wife for a number of
years. We have been married but lately i see that there is constant contact
(like everyday - two or three times a day) that they speak to each other. I
have always had a problem with this woman as she has shown signs of evil and
also is taking these children to church and having them eat un halal foods. Can
you give me the islamic law according to Shariah how is he suppose to be in
contact with her.
We have gotten into a lot of fights in the past for this woman and I dont think
I will be able to talk about what he is doing. We have also made the intention
to make hajj this year and I am afraid of my ill feelings towards him right
now.
He also hides the messages and the calls that is made from her to him and
sometimes the ones that are made from him to her. I would really like some hlep
on this. Jazak Allah Khair
(There may be some grammatical and spelling
errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from
questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in
confidentiality.)
Answer:
Contact with ex
divorced wife
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His
help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide,
and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear
witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear
witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His
Messengers.
Once a divorce has been established in the marriage, the
ex-husband and the ex-wife are absolute non-mehrams to each other, and every
single restriction that applies in Islam to a non-mehram member of the opposite
sex would apply to them.
Islam does not prohibit one from talking with a non-mehram
member of the opposite sex if one has an absolutely genuine need, but one must
fear Allah, fulfill the talk or the transaction in an absolute ‘business-like’
manner, and honor all the restrictions of ‘hijaab’ which apply in Shariah. But to talk vain talk, or associate or
develop an unlawful relationship with a non-mehram member of the opposite sex would
be in absolute violation of the Laws and Boundaries of Islam.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 49 Surah
Hujuraat verse 12:
12 O ye who believe! Avoid suspicion as much (as possible): for
suspicion in some cases is a sin.
If your husband has children from his previous marriage,
there might be times where he might need to conversate with his ex-wife for
their needs or upbringing; thus sister, unless and until there is a genuine cause
to be alarmed or suspicious, you should also avoid being overly suspicious as
that would effect your relationship with your husband. The husband should fear Allah and His Day of
Accounting and keep his conversation with his ex-wife on a strictly ‘business-like’
and a genuine cause basis only; and you too should fear Allah, and not allow
the Shaytaan to sow seeds of discord and undue suspicion into your relationship
with your husband.
Beloved Sister, keep your faith and trust in the Power of
your Lord Most Gracious, remain constant in your supplications towards Him,
recite the ‘Muawidaat’ (113th Surah Al-Falaq and 114th
Surah An-Naas) as often as you can or is easy for you, beseech your Lord to
make your trial easy for you, and grant you the patience and the wisdom to
overcome this unpleasant and temporary phase in your marriage.
Beloved Sister, in our humble opinion, as much as the
behavior of your husband might be on the borderline of what is lawful and
unlawful; it would not be prudent to take any concrete action based merely on
suspicion and fear as that would have a direct and detrimental effect in the
sacred relationship of marriage.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only
due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me
alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is
the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and
well wisher in Islam,
Burhan
Wister