A boy gets married by force from the family, though he doesnot like the girl. He tries to keep her happy even though he is almost like hate her.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Please advise me as per islamic law for the following problem:
A boy gets married by force from the family, though he doesnot like the girl. He tries to keep her happy even though he is almost like hate her. The same time the girl also orgueing and not obeying to her husband, which resulted in a big fight and finally the boy likes to leave her / divorce her.
The boy knows it is not correct to hurt her / her family by leaving her but he is completely not able to accept the girl cant make up his heart for this relation. Please advise what shall be done.
Many thanks for your urgent reply.
Sister of the boy
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In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 30 Surah Rome verse 21:
21 And among His Signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts); verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 278 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘The most perfect Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behaviour; and the best among you are those who behave best towards their wives.’
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3252 Narrated by Aisha ; Abdullah ibn Abbas
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "The best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family."
Sahih Muslim Hadith 3469 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘a believing man should not hate a believing woman (his wife); if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3272 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
When Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) was asked which woman was best he replied, "The one who pleases (her husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command, and does not go against his wishes regarding her person or property by doing anything of which he disapproves."
Dear and beloved Sister, Islam has recognized that human beings are not like animals who once bonded together must spend the rest of their lives together, whether or not they wish to do so or not!!! As detested as divorce may be in the Sight of Allah Subhanah, it is precisely for such situations that Islam has left open the lawful option of divorce, so that when two people who once chose to unite themselves in the sacred bond of marriage are unable to live with each other, they may honorably separate from each other through the institution of divorce.
Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2173 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘Of all the lawful acts’ the most detestable to Allah is divorce.’
If the brother who once agreed and chose to unite with the sister in the sacred bond of marriage finds it difficult to accept or live with his wife, he has the following lawful options:
- Bear the situation in his marriage with patience in the hope that the conditions and the attitude of his wife will improve, and thus save his marriage.
- If he cannot bear to do that, he has the lawful option of separating permanently from his wife through a divorce.
For those who wish to exercise the option of ‘divorce’, Islam guides that just as two people who once chose to unite in the sacred bond of marriage with love, and mercy, and honor, and kindness, and generosity…..if indeed they wish to separate from each other through divorce, they should fear Allah their Lord and separate with mercy, honor, kindness, generosity and liberality…..that would be akin to piety and righteousness in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in Islam,