Respected All

Assalam-o-Alaikum

God bless you all as you are making great efforts to bring real Islam in people lives. I have a question to ask you. I did marriage with my cousin 2 ½ years ago. My grand mother adopted my wife when her age was 6 or 8 months due to separation between her parents. Now somebody told us that my grand mother breastfed her at that time. We asked grand mother and she told that the baby was fully dependent on cow milk given by bottle (feeder) and after few months, the baby (my wife) started to eat others foods also. My grand mother has not own milk at that time as she was widow for last 7 years and her last child was of 12 years of age. For baby’s satisfaction, grandmother used to put her breast in baby mouth and after few months, milk started to come in very little quantity (in the form of drops). This continued for next one year but breast milk never filled her stomach even for a single time due to very little quantity (in the form of drops). I have heard that it is necessary to fill baby stomach five times by breastfeeding to become a mahram. Also some scholars say that the milk should be as a result of pregnancy or birth of a legitimate child. Please help me in my problem.

Wassalam

Respected All,

Assalam-o-Alaikum

I did marriage 2 years ago with my cousin. Now some body has told us that our marriage is not valid as there was a doubt of Raza’at. We tried our best to confirm this and ultimately we concluded that doubt is there. We do not want to live with an invalid nikah but we love each other so much and it is not easy for us to leave each other. One night, my wife was weeping very badly and then she prayed and said “ Oh Allah, please help us and make it clear”. Then she slept and saw in the dream that we both (me & my wife) went to a place where the Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was standing (everyone was treating him as the Holy Prophet ). We respectfully said “Assalam-o-Alaikum “ He (peace be upon him) replied and then kept His (peace be upon him) hand on my shoulder. Then He (peace be upon him) gave us some sweets to eat. We saw a big bright moon was shining on the sky at that time. Then my wife woke up. It is confirmed by a Hadeeth that no other can come in the dream as the Holy Profit (peace be upon him). It is also to point out that I did “istakhara “ before my nikkah and it was in favor of this marriage. Please tell me whether we can treat this dream as a guideline for us and also can we continue our marriage on the basis of this dream and istakhra that I did before my nikah. ? 

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Answer:

Grand mother adopted and suckled wife

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 23:

23 Prohibited to you (for marriage) are: your mother, daughters, sisters, father's sisters, mother's sisters, brother's daughters, sister's daughters, foster-mothers (who gave you suck), foster-sisters (who shared suck), your wives' mothers, your step-daughters under your guardianship born of your wives to whom ye have gone in, no prohibition if ye have not gone in; (those who have been) wives of your sons proceeding from your loins, and two sisters in wedlock at one and the same time except for what is past; for Allah is Oft-Forgiving Most Merciful.

Beloved brother in Islam, from what you have related in your question, if your grand-mother had given suck to your cousin for almost a year, then without a doubt that cousin of yours would become your mother’s foster-sister…and it would not be permissible in Islam for a believer to marry one’s mother’s sisters or her foster-sisters as they are declared as ‘mehrams’ by Allah Subhanah in the above quoted verse.

Beloved brother in Islam, since your grand-mother is alive, it would be best to go to a pious, God-fearing, scholar in your area and present the whole story to him along with the witness of your grand-mother of what exactly happened…..and then fear Allah and accept the decision that is closest to the guidance of Allah and His Messenger (saws).

Secondly brother, in relation to your dreams …. One cannot rely on the concept of dreams to determine whether a foster-relationship is established or whether a marriage between two people is lawful or unlawful…..but rather one should look at the available evidence, proof, and the statement of witnesses and make a sound decision in light of the guidance of the Quran and the Sunnah.

Beloved brother it is indeed true that some scholars are of the opinion that a foster-relationship is not established by one suck of one drop or a few drops; but since your grand-mother bears witness that she suckled your cousin for a period of one whole year….then in our humble opinion, a foster-relation would indeed be formed and marriage to such a woman would be absolutely impermissible and forbidden in Islam. Beloved brother, we still think that it would be best if you personally approached a good, pious, known, God-fearing scholar and present all the proofs and witnesses to him and seek a decision which is closest to the guidance of Shariah.

If Allah forbid, you remain married to one to whom marriage is forbidden in Shariah, not only would you live in doubt and in sin for the rest of your lives, but this one decision can put yours and your wife’s eternal and ever-lasting life of the Hereafter at severe risk!

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan