Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Dear Burhan Bhai,

Hope you are fine by the grace of Almighty Allah. Feel very happy and satisfaction to read your answers of various questions in the light of Quran and Sunnah. May Allah reward you and courage you more to continue this big assignment that you are doing.

My questions:

What is the easily way to spend life in this world, as I feel life becoming more harder and difficult. As we can see children creating problems for their parents, parents don't want to accept wishes of their children, wife is not happy with her husband and husband not happy with wife and so on.

Is it allowed in Islam that husband can tell his wife forcefully to keep and service his mother. Hence wife is not agree to live with his mother. Please guide me in the light of Quran and sunnah.

May Allah reward you against your services for the preaching of Islam.

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Can husband force wife to serve parents

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Statement: Feel very happy and satisfaction to read your answers of various questions in the light of Quran and Sunnah. May Allah reward you and courage you more to continue this big assignment that you are doing.

May Allah Subhanah reward you with the best of this world and the Hereafter for your kind comments of encouragement for our humble efforts in the propagation of the Truth. If our humble and modest efforts have helped even one brother or sister get closer to Allah and His Deen of Truth, then we would consider ourselves indeed fortunate to have been given this opportunity by the Lord Most Merciful to serve in His Cause. We hope, beg, and pray the Merciful Lord accepts our humble and weak efforts, forgives us our shortcomings, and saves you, us, and all the believers from the torment of the Hell Fire. Ameen.

Your Question-1: What is the easily way to spend life in this world, as I feel life becoming more harder and difficult. As we can see children creating problems for their parents, parents don't want to accept wishes of their children, wife is not happy with her husband and husband not happy with wife and so on.

May Allah Subhanah reward you generously and appropriately for asking this all important question which effects every single human being! Beloved brother, understanding the nature of each relationship, and knowing the rights due of each relationship requires ‘guidance’, regardless of whether that relationship is between parents and children, husband and wife, brother and brother, ruler and subject, etc. If man or society starts making laws or norms of relationships, they are bound to fall short in understanding the nature of each relationship, and assigning the rights due in each relationship. The disastrous conditions and state of relationships we see amongst us today is a direct result of this superb fallacy!

Your Question Again: What is the easily way to spend life in this world

The absolute easiest and perfect way to spend life in this world in peace, tranquility and harmony not only with one’s fellow man, but also with one’s Creator, is only and only through the absolute acceptance and obedience of the Divine Guidance of Al-Islam. Allah is our witness, there is no other way to find peace!

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter Chapter 5 Surah Maidah verse 3 (part):

This day have I (Allah) perfected your ‘way of life’ for you, completed my favor upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your ‘way of life’.

In the ‘way of life’ revealed by The All-Knowing, All-Wise Creator, not only has He prescribed what should the relationship be between Him and His creation, but He has guided us as to the exact rights that are due from man to his fellow man, and prescribed each relationship their due and full rights. It is only by accepting and obeying the ‘guidance’ of The Supreme Creator can man seek the peace and tranquility and harmony that he is so endlessly searching for all his life!

How arrogant, ignorant and foolish is a man who prefers to accept laws made by fellow men rather than submit to the Divine Laws made by his Creator! How arrogant, ignorant, foolish and deprived is a man who prefers and chooses the misguidance of men over the Divine ‘Guidance’ of his Creator!

Is there any wonder how troubled, oppressed, desperate, and full of sorrow is the life of a man today who has preferred any other ‘way of life’ other than truly accept, follow and submit to the ‘Perfect and Approved way of life’ revealed by none other than the All-Knowing, All-Wise, Creator Himself!

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 54 Surah Qamar verse 17:

17 And We have indeed made the Quran easy to understand and remember: then is there any that will receive admonition?

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 87 Surah Alaa verses 8-11:

8 And We will make it easy for thee (to follow) the simple (Path).

9 Therefore give admonition in case the admonition profits (the hearer).

10 The admonition will be received (only) by those who fear (Allah):

11 But it will be avoided by those most unfortunate ones.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 65 Surah Talaq verse 4 (part):

4 …. and for those who fear Allah He will make their Path easy.

Your Question Again: What is the easily way to spend life in this world

The easiest way to spend one’s life in this world is to truly understand, accept, and unconditionally follow the Divinely ‘approved’ way of life called ‘Al-Islam’! Not only will one have ‘ease’ in the life of this world, but if one truly submits himself to his Creator in Islam, it is expected that his whole everlasting, unending, and eternal life will also be ‘easy’ to the extreme!!!

Your Question-2: Is it allowed in Islam that husband can tell his wife forcefully to keep and service his mother. Hence wife is not agree to live with his mother. Please guide me in the light of Quran and sunnah.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 31 Surah Luqman verse 14:

14 And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the Command of the Lord!) "Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal.”

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Israa verses 23-24:

23 Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life say not to them even a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor.

24 And out of kindness lower to them the wing of humility and say: "O my Lord! Bestow on them Thy Mercy even as they cherished me in my childhood."

The Lord Creator has command the children, regardless of his age and status, to be absolutely obedient and serve his parents as long as they are alive! This command of absolute obedience and total service of a child to one’s parents is what is known in Islam as ‘fard-ayn’ or absolutely obligatory on the individual himself; none is responsible and liable to perform this duty and responsibility but the individual himself!

Islam guides that it is the sole responsibility and the absolute duty of the husband to serve his mother; and his wife has absolutely no responsibility towards her! If the wife, of her own goodness and accord, serves her husband’s mother, than it would be a deed over and above her role and duty, and she will receive a huge reward from her Lord Most Merciful for her benevolent deed. If the wife does indeed serve her husband’s mother, the husband must recognize and appreciate this favor of his wife upon him and his mother and be grateful to his wife and to his Lord.

But if for any reason whatsoever, the wife does not wish to serve her husband’s mother, the husband has absolutely no right in Islam to force his wife to fulfill a responsibility the Lord has laid upon him alone!

If the wife refuses or does not wish to serve her husband’s mother or her husband’s family, there is absolutely no sin upon her; but she must, at all times, keep cordial and good relationship with her in-laws. Under no circumstances is she permitted to be rude, or disrespectful or dishonor or hurt her husband’s parents in any way whatsoever.

If a woman does not wish to live with her in-laws or her husband’s mother for any reason whatsoever, she has a legal right in Islam to demand that her husband provide a separate accommodation for her according to his means. If the husband has the means, he must fulfill this legal and rightful demand of his wife and provide a separate accommodation and living for her.

But the wife does not have the right in Islam to demand that her husband leave his mother and family and come and stay with her in her separate accommodation; but if the husband wishes to come and live with her of his own free will, there is no harm, provided he has made full arrangements or he himself makes sure that every single need of his mother is fulfilled by him.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan