I have to ask the people about whom i backbited on to forgive me.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa
Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
Backbiting
is a horrible sin.
Inshallah
i am trying my best to stop this habit. I made tawbah and inshallah god will
forgive me, but some people are telling me that i have to ask the people about
whom i backbited on to forgive me. Is it really necessary for me to go and
confront them and tell them that i said this and that about them.
If that
is necessary lets say that i cannot get in touch with them. Then what?
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Answer:
Sin of back bitting and repentance
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask
for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever
He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that
there is no one (no idol, no person, no
grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai,
nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that
Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Your
Statement: Backbiting is a horrible sin.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 49 Surah
Hujuraat verse 12:
12 O ye who believe! Avoid
suspicion, for suspicion in some cases is a sin: and spy not on each other nor
speak ill of each other behind their backs. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay
ye would abhor it...but fear Allah: for Allah is Oft-Returning Most Merciful.
Speaking ill behind another’s back or back-biting is an
evil deed and a sin in the Sight of Allah Subhanah, regardless of whether one
back-bites a believer or a disbeliever!
Allah Subhanah commands the believers to hate, abhor, and despise the
evil sin of back-biting another behind
his back as one would hate to eat the flesh of his own dead brother!!! Such is
the gravity and enormity of this ‘minor’ sin of back-biting in the Sight of The
Majestic and Supreme Lord.
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.81 Narrated by Ibn Abbas
Once the Prophet (saws) went through the
graveyards of Medina and heard the voices of two beings who were being tortured
in their graves. The Prophet (saws) said, "They are being punished, but
they are not being punished because of a major sin, yet their sins are great.
One of them used not to save himself from (being soiled with) the urine, and
the other used to go about with calumnies (back-biting)."
Back-biting is absolutely impermissible and a sin in the
Sight of the Lord, whether done against a believer or a disbeliever. And just to clarify, back-biting is the
speaking of a truth behind another’s back which if said in front of the person
he would not like it; if one lies behind another’s back, then it would
constitute a much bigger sin and a punishable crime in Shariah, ie. ‘slander’!
Your
Statement: i am trying my best to stop this habit. I made tawbah and inshallah
god will forgive me
The conditions or ways to seek
sincere Taubah or Repentance from the Merciful Lord are:
- One is aware that he has sinned, and feels sorry and ashamed at his sin.
- Makes a solemn covenant and promise with Allah
that he will not repeat his sin again.
- Turns to Allah and seeks forgiveness, before he has met with his appointment
of death.
- Is a believer and does righteous good deeds
thereafter.
Allah says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54:
(O Prophet) say: “O My
servants who have wronged their own souls….Do not despair of Allah’s
Mercy! Surely, Allah forgives all sins. He indeed is the All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before the scourge
overtakes you; for then you may get no
help from anywhere.”
Allah says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 135-136:
Allah likes such good
people very much, who, if ever they
commit a base deed or wrong their own soul by the commission of a sin, remember Allah instantly, and ask for forgiveness from Him for their
shortcomings. For who, but Allah,
can forgive sins? (And Allah
loves those) who do not knowingly persist in the wrongs they did. These will be rewarded with forgiveness
from Allah, and with Gardens beneath
which canals flow, and they will reside
therein forever! How excellent is the
reward of those who do good deeds!
Allah says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 54:
When those come to you
who believe in Our Signs, say:
"Peace be on you! Your Lord had
inscribed for Himself (the rule of) Mercy.
Verily if any of you did evil in ignorance, and thereafter repented and
amended (his conduct), Lo! He is
Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."
May the Lord Most Merciful accept your striving in
abstaining from what He has Declared forbidden, and count your striving amongst
your good deeds Insha Allah.
Beloved Brother, if you have realized that you have sinned
against the commands of your Lord, and are sincerely sorry and ashamed at your
sin, and you have sincerely turned to your Lord seeking His forgiveness, rest
assured that your Lord Most Gracious, Most Merciful will forgive you your deed
and not hold you accountable for what happened in the past.
Your
Question: Is it really necessary for me to go and confront them and tell them
that i said this and that about them.
Beloved Brother in Islam, when one transgresses one of the
boundaries of their Lord and commits sin, and subsequently turns back to their
Lord seeking ‘taubah’ or forgiveness, it is expected that their Lord will have
mercy on them and forgive them their sin.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 66 Surah
Tahreem verse 8:
8 O ye who believe! Turn
to Allah with ‘tawbatan nasooha’ (absolutely sincere repentance): in
the hope that your Lord will remove from you your ills and admit you to Gardens
beneath which Rivers flow, the Day that Allah will not permit to be humiliated
the Prophet and those who believe with him.
Their Light will run forward before them and by their right hands while
they say "O Our Lord! Perfect our
Light for us and grant us Forgiveness; for Thou has power over all
things."
But if one so fears His Lord, and is so upset at himself
for transgressing the boundaries of their Majestic Lord, and so sorry and so
ashamed, that his heart will not find peace until he strives and rights the
wrong he has done, that he personally goes and seeks the forgiveness of the
brother he has wronged; then this his state and striving and making absolutely
sure is what Allah Subhanah calls ‘tawbatan nasooha’ in His Glorious Quran: and
this is the absolute best form and method of seeking ‘tawbah’!
When one makes and manifests ‘tawbatan nasooha’, not only
will their Lord Most Merciful forgive them their sin; but from His Sublime and
Infinite Mercy and Grace count this striving of theirs as amongst their best
and meritorious deeds worthy of earning magnificent and unbelievable rewards
from Him. Such is the Mercy, Grace and
Bouny of our Lord Most Gracious, who is indeed the Most Merciful of all those
who show mercy!
Sahih Muslim Hadith 4207 Narrated by Imran ibn Husayn
A woman from the Juhaynah (tribe) came to
Allah's Messenger (saws) and she had become pregnant because of adultery. She said: ‘O Messenger of Allah (saws), I
have done something for which (prescribed punishment) must be imposed upon me,
so impose that.’ Allah's Messenger
(saws) called her master and said: ‘Treat her well, and when she gives birth bring her to me.’ He did accordingly. Then Allah's Messenger (saws) pronounced
judgment on her. Her clothes were tied
around her and then he gave the order and she was stoned to death. He then
prayed over her (funeral). Thereupon
Umar said to him: ‘O Messenger of Allah (saws), you offer prayer for her
although she had committed adultery!’
Thereupon he (saws) said: ‘She has made such a repentance
(taubatan nasooha) that if it were to be divided among seventy men of Medina,
it would be enough! Have you found any
repentance better than that she sacrificed her life for Allah, the Majestic?’
In the above narration, the woman who committed the evil
sin of ‘zina’ could have very well sought repentance directly from her Lord and
saved herself from being disgraced and humiliated and punished in the life of
this world; for her repentance to her Lord would have wiped out her sin. But this woman sought to make ‘taubatan
nasooha’, and herself went to the Messenger of Allah (saws), confessed her sin,
and asked him to prescribe the Shariah punishment on her! Such was the intensity and acceptability of
her repentance in the Sight of the Lord Most Gracious, that not only did Allah
Subhanah forgive her the sin of ‘zina’, but if the reward she earned for making
this sincere repentance were to be divided amongst 70 men of Madinah, it would
have sufficed for them!
Your
Question: Is it really necessary for me to go and confront them and tell them
that i said this and that about them
Thus my beloved brother, if you turned back to your Lord
and sought sincere ‘taubah’ and forgiveness directly from Him for the evil you
did in your past, and make a solemn promise with Him that you will not repeat
the evil again; it is expected that you will find your Lord Forgiving and
Merciful.
But if you were to personally go back to the brothers and
sisters whom you back-bited in the past, and accepted the humiliation and
disgrace of confronting and confessing your sin to them and sought their
forgiveness, it would constitute the absolute best method of ‘taubatan nasooha,
and Allah is our witness brother, not only will the Lord Most Merciful accept
your repentance and forgive you your sin, but the reward you will earn for
making ‘taubatan nasooha’ will be absolutely unimaginable!
Thus to answer your question: ‘Is
it really necessary’, the truth is ‘No’; but Allah is our witness
brother, if you did go with humility and confronted and confessed the deeds you
did to the brothers or sisters you have wronged, it would count as ‘taubatan
nasooha’ in the Sight of your Lord, and not only will you win the love,
admiration and respect of the brothers and sisters to whom you confess, the
Pleasure and Good Will of the Lord that your this noble act of yours will earn
you, will be in good stead in your Book of Records on the Day of Judgment, Insha
Allah.
Your
Question: lets say that i cannot get in touch with them. Then what?
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 1.1 Narrated byUmar bin Al Khattab
I heard Allah's Messenger (saws) saying,
"The reward of deeds depends upon the intentions and every person will get
the reward according to what he has intended.”
If you have genuinely tried to get in touch with them and
cannot locate them, then your Lord Most Gracious will reward you in full for
your noble intentions to make ‘taubatan nasooha’, Insha Allah.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to
Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only
Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in
Islam,
Burhan
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