Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

salamo alaikum,

i hope u r doing well, i would really like to thank you for all you are doing for this ummah, clearing our doubts and doing good and forbidding evil.

i have a question which has been bothering me for a while. there is a guy in my class( i study in a co-ed school, he keeps on trying to talk to me, he tries to find occasions where he can just talk to me and stuff, i noticed this for few days, then one of my friend told me that he said he liked me bcz i cover myself very properly, and he finds me pretty, the fact is i wear a full abaya to school and a scarf and dont even stare at boys or even talk to them except for studying stuff. plz tell me what to do as this guy finds me everywhere and tries to talk to me , i have controlled my self alot , now shaytaan is putting waswasaaas in my heads

thank you salaams 

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Boys tries to befriend girl

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah Maidah verse 5:

5 This day are (all) things good and pure made lawful unto you. The food of the People of the Book is lawful unto you and yours is lawful unto them. (Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers but chaste women among the People of the Book revealed before your time when ye give them their due dowers and desire chastity not lewdness nor secret intrigues. If anyone rejects faith fruitless is his work and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost (all spiritual good).

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 24 Surah Noor verse 31 (part):

31 And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty.

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3118 Narrated by Umar ibn al-Khattab

The Prophet (saws) said, "Whenever a man is alone with a (non-mehram)woman, the Shaytaan makes a third."

Dear and beloved sister in Islam, contrary to popular and absolutely false belief, Islam guides that there can never ever be a platonic relationship between two non-mehram members of the opposite sex. Allah has Commanded the believing men and the believing women to lower their gaze, guard their modesty, and never ever to indulge in a lewd or secret relationship with a non-mehram member of the opposite sex.

If the boy really likes you and wishes to marry you, it would only be righteousness on his part that he approach your parents and honorably seek your hand in marriage. But if the boy is simply attracted to you or wishes only to ‘befriend’ you, then he should be told and warned firmly that such advances are not welcome by those who sincerely fear Allah and wish to live within His prescribed boundaries.

If you absolutely discourage and ignore the advances of the boy, he will get the message and hopefully will not bother you in the future; but if the boy is persistent and he stalks you or follows you in order to get your attention, it would be prudent to report the boy to your guardians or the relevant authorities in the school.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan