After burying our dead, many of our family members mourn for a period of 40 days. On the 4th day after the death of the deceased is a qul ka khatam followed by 3 more khatams on the 10th, 33rd and 40th day
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum
wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon
all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
Assalamoalaikum
Burhan Bhai.
My question today is regarding the post death ritual observed by our family.
After burying our dead, many of our family members mourn for a period of 40
days. On the 4th day after the death of the deceased is a ‘qul ka khatam’
followed by 3 more khatams’ on the 10th, 33rd and 40th day.
Respected brother, during my childhood I saw this happening and it’s continued
to happen till date. At the time I didn’t have a better understanding of Islam,
compared to now.
Now, when I try to tell members of my family that what they do is wrong, they
feel I’m being led astray by what I read on the Internet!
Can you kindly explain to me how I can convince my family to stop doing this?
And secondly, please let me know what was the sunnat of our holy prophet
hadhrat Mohammad-e-Mustapha (Salalaho Aleihai Wasalam) on the passing away of a
brother/sister in Islam.
Jazakallah Kheir
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Answer:
Burial and rituals
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask
for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever
He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that
there is no one (no idol, no person, no
grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai,
nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that
Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Your Question: please let me know what was
the sunnat of our holy prophet hadhrat Mohammad-e-Mustapha (Salalaho Aleihai
Wasalam) on the passing away of a brother/sister in Islam.
When one amongst the
noble companions or family members of the Prophet (saws) passed away, the
absolute first thing the Prophet (saws) would do upon hearing the news would be
to declare the statement: “Inna lillahe wa inna ilayhe rajeoon” (From Allah we
have come, and to Him Alone is our return).
The next thing the Prophet (saws) would do is prepare to
give their deceased brother/sister in faith an honorable burial and encouraged
the believers to participate for the burial prayers and sincerely seek
forgiveness for them in their supplications.
He (saws) encouraged the believers to visit the bereaved
family of the deceased and encouraged that close friends and neighbors provide
food for the immediate family, preferably for a period of three days.
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 2.371 Narrated by Zainab bint Abi Salama
I went to Um Habiba, the wife of Prophet
(saws), who said, "I heard the Prophet (saws) saying, 'It is not lawful
for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to mourn for any dead person
for more than three days, except for her husband, (for whom she should mourn)
for four months and ten days'."
The Messenger of Allah (saws) guided that it was not
lawful for the believers to mourn for any deceased for more than three days
except for a widow, whose period of mourning is four months and ten days. It is encouraged that the believers visit the
bereaved family members of the deceased during this period, provide them with
food, share in their grief, guide them towards patience and constancy, and help
them in whatever way possible.
Other than the above, there is absolutely no example of
the Prophet (saws) ever allowing or encouraging the reading of ‘khatams’, or allowing
the reciting of ‘Quls’, or specifying further days or any kinds of rituals like
the 4th, 9th, 10th, 30th, 40th
days of mourning, or feeding, or doing
any ritual for or in the name of the deceased!
All such rituals like the ‘Khatams’, the ‘Quls’, the
‘fatihah’ feeding, etc., or the specified further days of mourning like the 4th,
9th, 10th, 30th, or 40th have
absolutely nothing to do with the Sunnah or practice of the Messenger of Allah
(saws) or his noble companions; but these are absolutely manifest innovations
which some unscrupulous and ignorant people have invented and added without any
authority, long after the death of the Messenger of Allah (saws)! The believers who sincerely believe in Allah
and the Last Day must fear Allah, and strive to follow only the example of the
Messenger of Allah (saws); and strive their utmost to absolutely abstain from
following any and all innovations.
Sahih Muslim Hadith 1885 Narrated by Jabir ibn Abdullah
That the Prophet of Allah (saws) said in a
sermon: “The best speech is that which
is embodied in the Book of Allah, the Al Quran;
and the best guidance is the guidance given by me, Mohamed (saws). The most evil affairs are the
innovations (bida), and every innovation (bida) is an error.”
Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 4515 Narrated by Ali ibn AbuTalib
That the Prophet of Allah (saws) said: “If
anyone introduces an innovation (bida in religion), he will be responsible for it. If anyone introduces an innovation (bida) or
gives shelter to a man who introduces an innovation (bida), he is cursed by
Allah, by His Angels, and by all the people!”
Your Question: Can you kindly explain to me
how I can convince my family to stop doing this?
Dear and beloved brother in Islam, one amongst the most
difficult things to do is to try to stop or discourage people who are ignorant
of the Laws of Islam, from doing an innovated rite or ritual! Nothing discharges more turmoil and arguments
and ill-will than when one tries to stop or discourage an innovated act, or
rite, or ritual in Islam; thus as much as those who sincerely fear Allah must
remain absolutely firm and steadfast in following only what is prescribed and
allowed in the authentic practice and Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (saws),
one must be absolutely careful and prudent not to start an argument or fight or
fitnah amongst the believers.
Sahih Muslim Hadith 79 Narrated by Abu Sa'id al-Khudri
I heard the Messenger of Allah (saws) as
saying: “He who amongst you sees something abominable should modify it with the
help of his hand; and if he has not strength enough to do it, then he should do
it with his tongue; and if he has not strength enough to do it, (even) then he
should (abhor it) from his heart and that is the least of faith.”
If you are in a position of authority in the family (you
are the father or respected elder of the family where the death has taken
place), then it would be your duty in Islam to bring an immediate end to any
and all innovations that you see are taking place in your house or area of
responsibility.
That would be fulfilling the command of the Prophet (saws)
to modify the evil with your hand or by force.
If you are not in a position of authority in the family,
but have access to the person who has the final authority in the family…..then
you must approach that person and with extreme humility, care, and wisdom (but
with absolute firmness) invite the person to fear Allah and guide him as his sincere
well-wisher to put an end to the abominable innovations taking place in his
authority and in his house in the name of Islam. If the person in authority heeds to your
advice and stops the innovations, fine; and if the person in authority refuses
to heed to your good caution and wishes to continue doing the innovations, you
would have fulfilled your duty in warning him.
In absolutely all cases and situations, under no circumstances, should
you yourself and those who are under your immediate authority (like wife,
children, etc.) are to participate in these innovations.
Such an act would be fulfilling the command of the Prophet
(saws) to modify the evil with one’s tongue.
If you are neither in a position of authority in the
family or gathering where the evil innovations are taking place, nor do you
have access to the person who is in authority, then you and those who are under
your immediate authority (like wife, children, etc.) must in your hearts
recognize and abhor the abomination of these evil innovations, and absolutely abstain
from participating in all such innovated rites and rituals which have
absolutely nothing to do with Islam.
Such an act would be fulfilling the command of the Prophet
(saws) to abhor the evil from one’s heart, which is indeed the least of faith.
If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and
commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws),
one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any
other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be
assured of being led astray.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to
Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only
Source of Strength.
Your brother and
well wisher in Islam,
Burhan