Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

assalaamu alaikum,

brother,
i m very hurt and shattered,my husband took me outstation for the 1st time in 2yrs of our marriage, upon reaching over there i was introduced to his friends family as his another friends sister who was accompaning us instead of as his wife.i m his 2nd wife. i feel sad not to be recognize as his wife. reason given to me was dat his friends brother in law is not of good character also as he does not want to shock them as he has been going there regularly wt his 1st wife n kids. under any circumstances is it permisable for a husband to deny his 2nd marriage? did my husband do the right thing? 

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Deny Second Wife

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

It does not behove and befit a believer who sincerely believes in Allah and the Last Day to utter a lie, and regardless of the reasons your husband chose to introduce you as his friend’s sister rather than his legally wedded wife, it was an absolutely wrong and deplorable act and a blatant lie.

Islam has entertained and encouraged the believers to offer the Sunnah of a ‘walima’ feast at their marriage so that their sacred bond of marriage is announced in society. If one has chosen to exercise his right to legally marry for a second or third or fourth time, there is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about….and it would be considered absolutely inconsiderate and cowardly of the husband to not honor and introduce his wives to his friends and loved ones for fear of retribution. If one has the courage to take on a second wife, he should also possess the courage and be proud of his absolutely lawful and legal act to honor a woman as his legally and lawfully wedded wife.

Your pain and hurt is understandable and it would be best to, with patience and wisdom, talk to your husband and make him realize his shortcoming; it is expected that he will turn to Allah in repentance and also seek your forgiveness.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan