Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

salam u alaykum, i would to ask a qustion in privacy, that my wife pray 5 times and do all the things which one muslim should do, but i got to know from one of trustable person that in her school time she was having afair with one guy, and that guy also admitted that its true, they used to go out and kiss each other but nothing more then this. they never cross there limit, since i heard this i am confused what to do with my wife, i don`t want to live with her anymore. but now my wife loves me alot. but still its irritate me, please guide me what should i do, once i asked she denied. shell i ask her to swear on quraan. please guide me i am confused.

Allah hafiz please keep my name private, if you can send me email. thanks 

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Answer:

Wife’s past

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

My dear and beloved brother in Islam, no human being who ever walked on this earth except the Noble Prophets of Allah Subhanah were free from error or sins.

The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: ‘All of the Children of Adam are sinners; and the best (or most loved by Allah) are the sinners who turn back to Allah in sincere repentance.’

Dear and beloved brother in Islam, every human being has a past in which they transgressed the bounds of Allah Subhanah and sinned against their own souls. If Allah Wills to expose every sin of man to all of mankind, no man will be able to show his face in public! Thus if one amongst the slaves of Allah has committed a sin in their past and Allah Subhanah has concealed it, one should not go about investigating the sin of their loved one; and if perchance one does find out about the sin one has committed in their past, one should strive to forgive and cover that sin just as Allah Subhanah has covered our past sins.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 24 Surah Noor verse 22:

22 ….. let them forgive and overlook: do you not wish that Allah should forgive you? For Allah is Oft-Forgiving Most Merciful.

My dear and beloved brother in Islam, if today you have found out something your wife did in her distant past, it would only be righteousness on your part that you let the past be in the past, overlook and forgive her her past….just as you (and all of us) would wish that Allah Subhanah would conceal and forgive us all our past sins and transgressions.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 42 Surah Shuraa verse 43:

43 But indeed if any show patience and forgive, that would truly be an exercise of courageous will and resolution in the conduct of affairs.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah Maidah verse 13:

13 …… but forgive them and overlook (their misdeeds): for Allah loves those who are kind.

Not only should you show patience, and forbearance, and forgive your wife her past sins…but under no circumstances should you even confront her and try to take a confession out of her. It may be that over the years your wife has sought forgiveness from her Lord for her past and her Lord Most Merciful has forgiven her….and it just does not behove the character of a believer that when Allah Subhanah has Himself concealed and forgiven a sin of one amongst His believing and repentant slaves, that man should go about exposing the sin of his fellow man.

My dear and beloved brother in Islam, as difficult as it might be to forget this issue, you must bring yourself to fear Allah and forgive and overlook whatever happened in the past….just as each one of us would wish that our Lord Most Merciful Most Gracious would forgive and overlook our past sins and transgressions.

Sunan of Abu-Dawood 4923 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘The Compassionate One has mercy on those who are merciful. If you show mercy to those who are on the earth, He Who is in the heaven will show mercy to you!’

Allah is our witness brother, if you can bring yourself to overlook and forgive and show mercy towards your wife for the error she did in her past, the One Who is in the Heavens will record this act of yours as a good deed and will shower His Mercy upon you on a Day when nothing except His Mercy Alone will determine one’s entry to those Eternal and Everlasting Gardens of Bliss.

Your Question: please guide me what should i do, once i asked she denied. shell i ask her to swear on quraan. please guide me i am confused.

Regardless of the evidence you might have, if your wife has denied the deed, you should take her word for it and let bygones be bygones. Even if your wife had committed the deed in the past and when confronted lied to you only so that she could save her marriage and her relationship with her husband, such a lie would not be considered a lie in Shariah Law or in the Sight of Allah Subhanah; for a lie that put things right between two people is not a lie.

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 4902 Narrated byUmm Kulthum bint Uqbah al-Umawiyyah

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘He who forged in order to put things right between two persons did not lie.’

Whatever the case may have been brother, it would be best if you could bring yourself to overlook and forgive and not bring this subject up ever again with your wife or with anyone else. It may very well be that your wife has sought forgiveness from her Lord for her transgression and her Lord has forgiven her; and it definitely does not behove a believer to bring to account their fellow human being after it is evident that Allah Subhanah Himself has concealed their sin and accepted their repentance.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan