Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

As salamoalaikum,

I would like to know what is the duty of a husband towards his wife?Also if the husband wants his wife to stay with his parents that means her in-laws and if the wife disagrees then what is the punishment given to her by Allah.Is it compulsory for her to stay with her in-laws to make her husband happy?

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Answer:

Wife to live inlaws

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 30 Surah Rome verse 21:

21 And among His Signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves that ye may dwell in tranquility with them; and He (it is Who) has put love and mercy between your (hearts); verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 34:

34 Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has given the one more than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard (their modesty, their chastity, their honor, the property and honor of their husband and family, etc.)

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 228 (part):

228 ….. And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them according to what is equitable; but men have a degree over them, and Allah is Exalted in Power, Wise.

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 278 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘The most perfect Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behaviour; and the best among you are those who behave best towards their wives.’

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3252 Narrated by Aisha ; Abdullah ibn Abbas

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "The best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family."

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3263 Narrated by Aisha

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "Among the believers who show most perfect faith are those who have the best disposition, and are kindest to their families."

Sahih Muslim Hadith 2181 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘Of the Dinar you spend as a contribution in Allah's Path, or to set free a slave, or as a Sadaqah given to a needy, or to support your family; the one yielding the greatest reward is that which you spent on your family!’

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.116 Narrated by Abdullah bin Umar

The Prophet (saws) said, "Everyone of you is a guardian and everyone of you is responsible (for his wards). A ruler is a guardian and is responsible (for his subjects); a man is a guardian of his family and responsible (for them); a wife is a guardian of her husband's house and she is responsible (for it), a slave is a guardian of his master's property and is responsible (for that). Beware! All of you are guardians and are responsible (for your wards)."

In light of the above guidance of the Quran and the Sunnah, Allah Subhanah has appointed the man as the guardian, maintainer, caretaker and custodian of his family; and he will be held responsible to Allah Subhanah for whoever is under his immediate care.

Your Question: I would like to know what is the duty of a husband towards his wife?

Islam commands and directs the man to be solely and completely responsible for the wife and family. The absolute prime responsibility laid upon the man in Islam is to spend of his wealth on his wife and family under his care, and strive to fulfill their every legal need to the best of his ability. In addition he is commanded to love, and honor, and cherish, and protect, and be merciful and appreciative of his wife and his family.

And in return, the wife is commanded by Allah Subhanah to be absolutely and devoutly obedient to her husband, and strive to the best of her ability to fulfill all his legal and valid commands and desires.

Your Question: Also if the husband wants his wife to stay with his parents that means her in-laws and if the wife disagrees then what is the punishment given to her by Allah.

The wife has a legal right in Islam to demand if she wills, that her husband provide a separate housing for her from her in-laws; and if the husband has the means, he must fulfill this legal right of his wife.

The right the wife does not have is to demand that her husband leave his parents and come and live with her in the separate dwelling provided for her, if the husband does not wish to do so.

In light of the guidance of the Quran and the Sunnah, the wife has absolutely no duty and responsibility laid upon her by Islam towards her husband’s family or ‘in-laws’, including the husband’s parents, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, etc. The responsibility and duty that Islam has laid upon the believing wife is only towards making sure that her husband is pleased and satisfied with her in every aspect of her life!

Having said that the wife has absolutely no responsibility towards her husband’s family, does not in any way mean or imply that she is allowed to be rude, or disrespectful, or dishonor them in any way. She must at all times strive to develop cordial relations with her in-laws.

But if the believing woman does, of her own free will, serve the parents or family of her husband, she would be doing a deed of ‘ehsaan’, a deed which would be over and above her duties and responsibilities; and Allah Subhanah has time and again declared in the Glorious Quran that He absolutely loves those believers who do ‘ehsaan’ or deeds which are over and above their role of duty and responsibility.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale-Imraan verse 134 (part):

134 …. for Allah loves the ‘muhsineen’ (those who do deeds over and above their call of duty).

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale-Imraan verse 148:

148 And Allah gave them a reward in this world and the excellent reward of the Hereafter. For Allah loves the ‘muhsineen’ (those who do deeds over and above their call of duty).

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 195 (part):

195 … and do ‘ehsaan’; for Allah loves the ‘muhsineen’ (those who do deeds over and above their call of duty).

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah Maidah verse 93 (part):

93 ….. For Allah loves the ‘muhsineen’ (those who do deeds over and above their call of duty).

But if the wife wishes to exercise her right to demand a separate housing from her in-laws for any reason whatsoever, there would be absolutely no sin upon her.

Your Question: Is it compulsory for her to stay with her in-laws to make her husband happy?

Allah Subhanah has given the wife in Islam a right to demand a separate housing from her in-laws, and if the husband has the means he must fulfill this legal right of his wife, even if it be only a small apartment. If the husband has the means and does not fulfill this legal demand of his wife, he will be held accountable in the Court of Allah Subhanah for usurping one of the legal rights due to his wife.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan