Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

assalam alaikum
i have a question and hopefully u will b able to answer it.i have been married 2 a cousin of mine.he was basicaly a very loving husband...but his parents have brainwashed him against me and my parents especially my mother that he has started hating us a lot.i am with my husband but he does not allow me to speak or meet my parents.it has been 8years since he has gone to my parents house.my parents r very upset because of this as we live abroad and visit our native place only once in a year.he allows my children to visit my parents but we have to literally beg him for that.he does not give me any money.i have toask him for everything.i want to work as i am highly educated,but he does not allow me to do anything.i want to ask u wether all this is allowed for a man to do.when i speak to my parents they tell me that as he is my husband i will have to just bear it and be happy as i am,i am an only daughter of my parents.arent their any right for a woman in islam wher she can go to her parents house,or work.please guide me in the islamic way.thankyou very much.please print this in ur site as my husband checks my mails. 

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Answer:

Wife rights in marriage

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Beloved and dear sister in Islam, the question of husband and wife rights in a marriage in Islam is so vast and varied, that it would require a full book if one was to list all the rights due from the husband to the wife in all circumstances, and the rights due from a wife to the husband. It is almost impossible to list the rights in this small article. Therefore, we will try to give you an overview of the Quranic principles and foundations of the rights and responsibilities that are required by the husband and the wife in an Islamic marriage.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 228: Wives have the same rights as the husbands have on them in accordance with the generally known principles. And men are a degree above them; and above all is Allah, the All Mighty, All Wise.

Islam has given both man and woman certain rights, responsibilities and duties according to their nature. All the financial responsibilities of the household is the responsibility of the man. Even if his wife is a millionaire, she is not required to spend a penny of it on the household, if she does not wish to. It is the responsibility of the man to provide for her food, clothing and shelter according to his means.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 34: Men are the managers of the affairs of women because Allah has made the one superior to the other, and because men spend of their wealth on women. Virtuous women are , therefore, obedient (to their husbands); and they guard in his absence what Allah would have them guard (their honor, their property, etc.)

In Islam, each family can be considered a small State, and Allah has appointed the man as the leader of the state, because of certain natural qualities and because they provide for the family from their means. But having been given the position of a leader in Islam does not mean that the man becomes an arrogant and oppressive dictator like the leaders of the world! In Islam, when one is made a leader, his duty is to fear Allah, and serve, protect and maintain harmony in his state, by being a just, benevolent, and a loving servant-leader.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 30 Surah Rum verse 21: And of Allah’s Sign is that He has created for you wives from your own species, so that you may find peace with them, and (Allah has) created love and mercy between you. Surely in this there are many Signs for those who reflect.

Allah himself says that he has created the relationship of husband and wife, so that we may find peace and tranquility in this relationship. And Allah has put love and mercy between the spouses, in this sacred relationship of marriage. But this love, respect, harmony, peace and tranquility can only be experienced if both the husband and wife fear and obey Allah Subhanah, and give all the rights that are due to their spouses.

It is reported that the Messenger of Allah (saws) said in an authentic narration: ‘The whole world is a provision (from Allah), and the best of the provisions is a righteous wife.”

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3252 Narrated by Aisha ; Abdullah ibn Abbas

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "The best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family.”

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3264 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said,"The believers who show the most perfect faith are those who have the best disposition, and the best of you are those who are best to their wives."

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3272 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

When Allah's Messenger (saws) was asked which woman was best he replied, "The one who pleases (her husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command, and does not go against his wishes regarding her person or property by doing anything of which he disapproves."

Thus, in conclusion, what is required for a peaceful and loving marriage and a good wholesome life, is first and foremost the fear of Allah Subhanah; that one day everyone will have to stand alone in the Court of Allah Subhanah to give a full accounting of all his deeds. Once this God-consciousness and piety is developed in the person, he will always try to obey Allah and thus do all his deeds in the best manner, giving each the rights that are due to them.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your Brother in Islam,

Burhan