Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

I would like to react to one of your answers concerning a question about women forbidden to marry non muslim men.
You answered :
"Just because we live in an unrighteous society today, where the pagan influence has made it seem fair-seeming to make two leaders in one house!, or taken away the sole responsibility of the man to provide for the family!, or taken away the ties of the marriage from the hands of the man!, or to name their children using both the mother’s and the father’s name (or even at times a completely different name away from both!), etc…. does not mean that that is righteous conduct according to the Guidance and the Nature Created by the One Who Created!!! "
Chapter 4, verse 14 : "Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other , and because they spend of their property."
I would like to ask whether it is "unright" for a society to favour equity between men and women. Is it "unright " for a woman to provide for the family like her husband? Is it "unright" for a man and a woman to have even influence on their children?
Furthermore , could you explain me the meaning of the verse I quoted

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Equal or balance role of man and woman

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Q-1: I would like to ask whether it is "unright" for a society to favour equity between men and women.

Allah Says in the Glorious Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 36 (part):…and the male is not like the female!

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 34 (part): Men are the maintainers (Qawwamoon) of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 228: And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them according to what is equitable; but men have a degree (of advantage) over them; and Allah is Exalted in Power, Wise.

Allah Subhanah declares in His Glorious Quran that the male is ‘not like’ the female, and He, in His Supreme Wisdom and Knowledge has made one to excel the other.

It would not only be ‘unright’, but absolutely incorrect and unfair for a society to treat as ‘equal’ what the Creator has declared as unequal! The so called modern-educated but ignorant and un-Godly societies which have tried to challenge and reverse the bestowed nature and declare the men and women as equal have paid an enormous price in the forming of their families, in their homes, and in their lives!

Contrary to popular belief, men and women are not created equal by the All-Wise, All Knowing Lord; but rather, they are balanced! For the test period of this one transitory life, each has been given a set of duties and responsibilities by Allah Subhanah best suited according to their bestowed nature. Thus Allah Subhanah has decreed a separate but balanced test for the man and the woman in the life of this world, each according to its bestowed nature.

The societies which have propagated the ‘equality’ amongst the sexes have obviously not understood the nature of the man and the woman like the One Who Created their nature! The Creator has bestowed on the man and the woman ‘balance’ so that they may complement each other; but the ignorant and un-Godly society insist on making them ‘equal’ so that they may ‘compete’ against each other! Thus for them to declare ‘equality’ when the Creator has declared them ‘balanced’ is not only ‘unright’, but outright incorrect and unfair!

Q-2: Is it "unright " for a woman to provide for the family like her husband?

Islam has laid the complete and absolute financial responsibility of running the household upon the man. The wife may be a multi-millionaire in her own right, but she is not obligated nor required to spend even one cent on the running of the house, if she does not wish to do so. It is the responsibility and the duty of the man to serve her and provide her with everything according to his means.

But if the righteous woman, of her own free will and choice, wishes to help her husband without any force or coercion whatsoever, she is well within her rights to help provide for her family; and the husband must recognize and be grateful to her for the favor she does to him.

But if a husband were to demand that the wife work and provide for the family against her will, he would be guilty in the Court of Allah Subhanah for not fulfilling his decreed duty and responsibility.

Thus Islam has given the decision of ‘right’ and ‘unright’ in the hands of the woman! She has a ‘right’ to spend of her personal wealth on the family if she so wishes; but if the husband forces her to do so, it would be ‘unright’.

Q-3: Is it "unright" for a man and a woman to have even influence on their children?

Both the parents do try to have an even influence on their children, but Allah and His Messenger (saws) have declared that because of the innumerable sacrifices and supreme love and mercy of the mother towards her children, she has been declared the outright winner when it comes to who should be the one who is more respected and honored by their children.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 31 Surah Luqman verse 14:And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him and in years twain was his weaning: (Hear the Command!) "Show gratitude to Me, and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.2 Narrated by Abu Huraira

A man came to Allah's Messenger (saws) and said, "O Allah's Messenger (saws)! Who is more entitled to be treated with the best companionship by me?" The Prophet (saws) said, "Your mother." The man said. "Who is next?" The Prophet (saws) said, "Your mother." The man further said, "Who is next?" The Prophet (saws) said, "Your mother." The man asked for the fourth time, "Who is next?" The Prophet (saws) replied, "Your father."

All Praise is due to Allah Subhanah Alone Who has honored and bestowed such a lofty and high status for the believing woman in Islam.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your Brother in Islam,

Burhan