Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Dear Brother of Islam,

Asalam-O-Alikum,

As you mentioned the first step among three steps for the uncompilcated
process of marriage i.e. "The proposal from the groom to the family of the girl", my question is that can a proposal from the bridegroom family goes to the groom family or its just from groom to the girls family???. The reason of asking this question is that i have seen so many girls waiting for the proposals as their family cant take an initiative and if they dont get
any proposal they remain unmarried for rest of their lives.

May Allah bless us all (Amen).

Waslam,

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Does Proposal have to be from man

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question: my question is that can a proposal from the bridegroom family goes to the groom family or its just from groom to the girls family???.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 5.342 Narrated by Abdullah bin Umar

Umar bin Al-Khattab said, "When (my daughter) Hafsa bint 'Umar lost her husband Khunais bin Hudhaifa As-Sahrni who was one of the companions of Allah's Messenger (saws) and had fought in the battle of Badr and had died in Medina, I met 'Uthman bin 'Affan and suggested that he should marry Hafsa saying, "If you wish, I will marry Hafsa bint 'Umar to you,' on that, he said, 'I will think it over.' I waited for a few days and then he said to me. 'I am of the opinion that I shall not marry at present.' Then I met Abu Bakr and said, 'if you wish, I will marry you, Hafsa bint 'Umar.' He kept quiet and did not give me any reply and I became more angry with him than I was with Uthman . Some days later, Allah's Messenger (saws) requested her hand in marriage and I married her to him. Later on Abu Bakr met me and said, "Perhaps you were angry with me when you offered me Hafsa for marriage and I gave no reply to you?' I said, 'Yes.' Abu Bakr said, 'Nothing prevented me from accepting your offer except that I learnt that Allah's Messenger (saws) had referred to the issue of Hafsa and I did not want to disclose the secret of Allah's Messenger (saws); but had he (i.e. the Prophet (saws)) given her up I would surely have accepted her."

In the books of Seerah (life of the Prophet (saws)), it is reported that it was Hadrat Khadijah (r.a.) who sent a proposal of marriage to the Messenger of Allah (saws) through a lady named Nufaysah bin Munyah. At the time Hadrat Khadijah (r.a.) was twice widowed and almost the age of 40, and Prophet Mohamed (saws) was only about 25 years old. Prophet Mohamed (saws) accepted Hadrat Khadijah’s (r.a.) proposal of marriage, and married her as his first wife.

Thus, it is absolutely permissible for the bride’s family to send a marriage proposal to the groom; just as it is for the groom’s family to send a proposal to the bride.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your Brother in Islam,

Burhan