Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

I was married 3yrs back,at first i din`t like the proprosal,i refused,but due 2 family pressure i agreed,at beginning i was very unhappy,but lateron learnt 2 cope up 4 family sake.Recently someone told me tht marriages tht strt with a problem can never b a happy one,tht has got into my head.I am a praticin muslima,alhamdulilah,i fear Allah,n HIS wrath,n now i fear myself going in haram ways,because of my unhappy life.I feel tht everyone has a rite 2 b happy,n so do i,n i am not happy with this marriage,please brother help me,i don`t know wht 2 do. 

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Not happy in marriage

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

If you agreed to the marriage for the sake of the family, and subsequently learnt to cope with the responsibilities and duties of marriage, and sincerely gave the rights due to your husband and family; Allah Subhanah will give you a great reward for your patience and acceptance.

Your Statement: Recently someone told me tht marriages tht strt with a problem can never b a happy one,tht has got into my head.

There is absolutely no truth to this false notion that ‘a relationship or marriage that starts with a problem can never be a happy one!’ Whoever told you this myth has obviously a very shallow experience of life; and there is absolutely no truth in this false notion in light of the Quran and Sunnah.

There are so many relationships and marriages which might start with a problem, because one of the partners in marriage had false prejudices or had heard lies or wrong things about his/her partner in marriage; but subsequently when they formed the relationship, they realized that their prejudices and pre-determined thoughts were based on lies and falsehood, and in reality the person has a very good character.

Beloved sister in Islam, our sincere advise to you is to fear Allah Subhanah and stay committed to the covenant you have made with your husband in the sacred relationship of marriage, especially if your husband is a God-fearing person and has a good character, and loves and honors you as his wife.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 216: But it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you, and that ye love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knoweth and ye know not.

But if you are absolutely convinced that you will not be happy in this marriage in the future, or that you may be inclined towards sin, or you would not be able to stay within the boundaries ordained by Allah Subhanah; Islam has allowed the option of seeking a divorce.

May Allah Subhanah make your trial easy for you, help you, guide you, bestow His Mercy upon you, grant you patience and wisdom and knowledge to enable you to make the right decisions in your life, which are good for you in your life of this world and the Hereafter. Ameen.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your Brother in Islam,

Burhan