Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

dear sir,

assala valekum

allah will long your life     i read your mail thanks to answer it i got it.

thanking u as i have mentioned to u that i have some personal problem i am discussing below I HOPE U WILL ANSWER IT POSITIVELY
DEAR SIR

I AM STUDING IN T.Y.OF B.COM, I AM VERY SHAMFUL AND SHY BASHFUL I THINK IT THE SERIOUS PROBLEM FOR ME.IT IS VERY HARASSFUL FOR ME SO I TAKE YOUR HELP.MY PARENTS SAID ME TO TALK MORE BUT, IT CAN'T HAPPEN I FEEL SHAME WHILE SOME TOPIC DISCUSSING IN OUR HOUSE "GENERAL TOPIC" BETWEEN RELATIVES AND FRIENDS THOUGH I KNOW LESS OR MORE ABOUT IT OR NOT.. IT ALSO AFECT IN MY FIELD OF MRKTG. I DO'T EXPRESS IT THAT IS FEAR I FEEL NERVOUS WHILE I TALKED WITH NEW PERSONS RELATIVES NEIGHBOURS. SOME BAD WORLD WILL SPOKEN OR THEY LAUGHED AT ME THIS FEAR COMES FIRST OR SOMETIMES MY MIN SAYS DON'T SPEAK.SOMETIMES I LOST MANY THINGS AND BE IN FUTURE.THOUGH IAM HARDWORKING,PUNCTUAL,SINCERE/ LESS SPEAKINGNESS AND SHAMEFULNESS IS WASHED MY GOOD POINT ALSO AS BELOW.FRIENDS RELATIVES KEEP LESS RELATIONS WIHT ME THEY DO'T TALK TO ME AND MAKE MYSELF AS THE THING OF FUNI CANNOT SAY ANYTHING TO THEM MY HANDS LEAPS LEGS IS SHIVING SO THEY TOLD ME MISERLY RESERVED SO I FACE PROBLE IN MY LIFE I FACE THE PROBLEM WITH MY BOSS ALSO IN MY JOB AS WELL AS IN MY STUDENT CAREER I CAN'T ASKED QUESTIONS THOUGH I HAVE SOME DIFFICULTIES.     I TOLD ANOTHER PERSON TO SOLVE THAT BUT HE SAID THAT IT IS DUE OT NOURSHING (PALNA POSNA)OF MY PARENTS. SOMETIMES IN SOME CASES THIS LESS SPEAKING HELPS BUT,THE CASES ARE LIMITED.     PLEASE MAIL ME AS QUICK AS POSSIBLE SO I CAN SOLVE THIS PROBLEM ADN IMPROVE MY LIFE.

THANKING YOU,

SEASON'S GREETINGS

YOUR'S SINCEARLY,

.........................KHUDA HAFIZ................

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Answer:

Can you Solve my personal problems?

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and who-ever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

My beloved brother, we are obviously not experts at personal behavioral issues, thus all we can do is give you our personal opinion and views in light of the Holy Quran and the Sunnah of the Messenger (saws), Insha Allah.

Firstly, let me assure you that the qualities that you have mentioned in yourself like hardworking, punctual, sincere and soft-spoken are indeed qualities of a good muslim. I can understand and relate to your situation. I can imagine that you feel that the one who talks ‘big-talk’ and has the ‘gift-of-the-gab’ in this world, seems successful. Brother, I am assuming that you are a young man (3^rd year B. Com.), and as you grow older, you will realize that not everyone who talks big, is the most honest or loved person! Yes, it sure might seem so to you today, but as you mature in your age and your knowledge, you will realize that most of these ‘big-talk’ is baseless and hollow.

As a muslim, our role model should always be the Messenger of Allah (saws). We must always try to determine and understand what was the character and habit of this great leader, and then we must try and emulate him to the best of our ability. The Messenger of Allah (saws) himself was a very silent person, who never spoke more than the situation warranted. He always spoke the Truth, and advised the believers to always do the same.

It is reported in an authentic narration that the Messenger of Allah (saws) said while giving advise to the believers: “Either say a good word, or keep quiet!”

Thus, what you might be thinking is a handicap in your talking less, might be your greatest virtue! It should not matter if you are not the center of attraction in every gathering; it should not matter if you are not the most popular person in your friend circle; it should not matter if you are not funny; it should not matter if you don’t talk ‘tons of rubbish’ like the other so-called popular heroes: what matters is that you should speak the Truth; what matters is that you should speak only good; and what matters is that you should always take the example of the Messenger of Allah (saws) in everything you do. And once you do the above, you will see that you will develop a lot of inner confidence, that only a true believer in Allah and the Last Day can possess. Never ever underestimate the power of truth! And when truth is spoken as a habit, you will soon realize that the people around you will always believe you, respect you, trust you, and love you.

Thus, in my humble opinion, what you might think is your handicap, is probably your biggest asset! Allah explains in the Holy Quran while using a metaphor, that the worst sound in His sight is the braying of the donkeys! If you have ever experienced the sound of the braying of the donkey, you might have realized that the donkey brays in the one same sound, in the one same volume, in the one same pitch, and without any care! This simile is used by Allah to explain the dislike of Allah for the one who speaks just for the sake of speaking; and speaks nonsense and lies to get the upper hand; and keeps on speaking without a care of the situation. Allah says this is the worst speech in His Sight.

It is said in a famous proverb, that two things, once they leave their places of origin, cannot be taken back: (1) the arrow that leaves the bow, and (2) the word that leaves the tongue. Blessed are the ones who are careful with their tongue, and always speak the Truth; for they will not be held accountable in the Court of Allah for speaking lies, due to the careful use of their tongue!

It is reported in an authentic narration that the Messenger of Allah said: “You give me a guarantee for (the control of) two things in your possession, and I will guarantee you Paradise.” And when asked by the believers what were these two things, the Prophet (saws) replied, “The thing between your thighs (ie. your private parts), and the thing between your jaws (ie. your tongue.)”

This is how important careful and truthful speech is in Islam!

Thus brother, I personally think that the qualities that you possess are indeed your strengths, and the biggest asset amongst them in your careful use of speech. If someone is not happy with your these qualities, then its their problem, not yours! What you need to do is seek more and more knowledge and always speak the Truth! The confidence that will, Insha Allah, arrive from this, can never be defeated.

May Allah increase your knowledge in the Truth, and guide you and us all to the Straight Path.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan